Seriously!!! Vent

[youngmommy26]

I know how you feel. Me and DH have been married for 10 years. Our DS just turned 8 and we have been TTC#2 for almost 4 years. DS is autistic and wants and sibling really bad plusme and DH want 2 kiddos. We are having such a hard time conceiving this time around due to unexplained infertility. I just turned 29, DH turned 40 in Nov. Dr wants to start me on clomid 50mg. But back to my rant, I kind of went off topic here I just recently dropped a friend from high school because of how insensitive she was. She has 5 kids from 5 different men, every time she would get pregnant she would joke around and say things like "oops forgot to take my BC, guess I'm just really fertile!" And "wow! It's taking you forever to get pregnant! Guess I'm in the lead!" Seriously?! I had had enough. The people who say, "just relax, it will happen when its supposed to happen" irritate the crap out of me to. People can be so insensitive.

 

[Smille24]

Oh wow that is rude! I am very sorry she said those things to you. It was probably wise to cut ties with someone who cannot support you as you face this struggle. It's difficult as is, you don't deserve the rude and heartless comments. I hope the Chlomid helps. Did you take it in the past? I'm pretty sure my RE will be putting me on it or something related to help with ovulation.

My cousin like I've said in prior posts is extremely rude and hateful. I've pretty much stopped talking to her bc she's become so malicious to everyone. Idk who she is anymore. It's definitely taken a lot of stress and shame out of my life that's for sure.

 

[ramibear]

I hear you on that! A woman at work was complaining to me that she got pregnant the first month they tried. She wanted more time before getting pregnant. I told her that what I was going to say might be mean, but she needed to be careful what she complains about and who she complains to. We had been trying for a year with no success and I told her that her comments made me angry. She didn't even want kids and gets lucky on the first try! I told her she ought to be grateful since there are so many struggling for so long. She apologized.

 

[youngmommy26]

Oh wow that is rude! I am very sorry she said those things to you. It was probably wise to cut ties with someone who cannot support you as you face this struggle. It's difficult as is, you don't deserve the rude and heartless comments. I hope the Chlomid helps. Did you take it in the past? I'm pretty sure my RE will be putting me on it or something related to help with ovulation.

My cousin like I've said in prior posts is extremely rude and hateful. I've pretty much stopped talking to her bc she's become so malicious to everyone. Idk who she is anymore. It's definitely taken a lot of stress and shame out of my life that's for sure.

I have never taken it before so its a whole new experience for me. I'm hoping it works and I don't get any nasty side effects.

 

[KatO79]

Wow youngmommy that was just so insensitive of your friend

I know how that sort of thing feels. My narcissistic brother commented a post I'd made on my FB about how relaxing doesn't help. Him and his wife went through numerous IVFs and FETs before having their daughter. He started a debate with me and insisted stress contributes to infertility and he just kept going on and on. I tried showing him articles that supported me but he wouldn't listen to anything I had to say, insisting on being right and I should just go on a vacatuon I ended up telling him that maybe we should discuss this at another time since I was starting my 1st IUI at the time (this was in January). He then got pissed and told me that I only wanted to end the discussion because it wasn't going my way and when I was ready for an adult conversation and could stand to hear a differeing point of view to post on. He did give me an apology but it was clearly not heartfelt at all. I accepted knowing I wouldn't get any better apology from him and politely told him to refrain from getting personal in any future debates/discussions. I haven't heard from him since and I just don't feel like I have the emotional surplus to discuss it with him - he'll just put me down and tell me my feelings are wrong, like he's done so many times in the past. He's highly verbally and emotionally abusive plus he's constantly gaslighting me and rewriting history so I'm always the selfish, wrong one and he's completely innocent and never, ever wrong. I've pretty much given up on having a sibling relationship with him, he's always constantly out to make me feel bad about myself and is never, ever supportive of me - if anything he seems to use any crisis in my life to be extra cruel and nasty.

 

[Smille24]

Oh wow that is rude! I am very sorry she said those things to you. It was probably wise to cut ties with someone who cannot support you as you face this struggle. It's difficult as is, you don't deserve the rude and heartless comments. I hope the Chlomid helps. Did you take it in the past? I'm pretty sure my RE will be putting me on it or something related to help with ovulation.

My cousin like I've said in prior posts is extremely rude and hateful. I've pretty much stopped talking to her bc she's become so malicious to everyone. Idk who she is anymore. It's definitely taken a lot of stress and shame out of my life that's for sure.

I have never taken it before so its a whole new experience for me. I'm hoping it works and I don't get any nasty side effects.

I hope it works for you too! I've heard if you do get any side effects, they're gone soon after you stop taking the last pill. Fxd this helps give you your bfp.

 

[Smille24]

I hear you on that! A woman at work was complaining to me that she got pregnant the first month they tried. She wanted more time before getting pregnant. I told her that what I was going to say might be mean, but she needed to be careful what she complains about and who she complains to. We had been trying for a year with no success and I told her that her comments made me angry. She didn't even want kids and gets lucky on the first try! I told her she ought to be grateful since there are so many struggling for so long. She apologized.

She didn't want kids, but was trying? Wth is wrong with people? I am glad you said something to her and she apologized. I swear people have no common sense.

 

[youngmommy26]

Oh wow that is rude! I am very sorry she said those things to you. It was probably wise to cut ties with someone who cannot support you as you face this struggle. It's difficult as is, you don't deserve the rude and heartless comments. I hope the Chlomid helps. Did you take it in the past? I'm pretty sure my RE will be putting me on it or something related to help with ovulation.

My cousin like I've said in prior posts is extremely rude and hateful. I've pretty much stopped talking to her bc she's become so malicious to everyone. Idk who she is anymore. It's definitely taken a lot of stress and shame out of my life that's for sure.

I have never taken it before so its a whole new experience for me. I'm hoping it works and I don't get any nasty side effects.

I hope it works for you too! I've heard if you do get any side effects, they're gone soon after you stop taking the last pill. Fxd this helps give you your bfp.

Thanks for your kind words, almost 4 years trying, I'm getting exhausted. We are doing a lot of things differently this year. DH is going to start taking fertilaid, count boost and motility boost supplements. I'm also going to take the ovaboost and fertile CM supplements with the clomid. Also going to track O with temps and opk's, using preseed and soft cups. We are pretty much addressing it from all sides since our insurance doesn't pay for a sperm analysis. We have had a child before so I know its possible for us to have children. We are going to be busy, busy, busy with lots of money invested so I really hope all this pays off in the future. I wish all you ladies the best of luck and I hope I see all of you get your bfp's in 2016!

 

[Smille24]

Good luck! I used preseed and softcups this cycle too.

 

[youngmommy26]

Good luck! I used preseed and softcups this cycle too.

Thanks! Good Luck to you as well!

 

[amanda1235]

It's so hard to make people understand what we're going through. A friend of mine who knew what we were going through, told me she got pregnant with her 2nd "by accident". They hadn't even decided if they wanted another since they were having issues as a couple. They got really drunk one night, and she said "well maybe we shouldn't have sex since I'm ovulating", but they couldn't hold back, so of course they did and of course they got pregnant. I know she doesn't mean any harm from the comments, but hearing how easy it was for them, is not exactly what I want to hear right now. Another friend just got pregnant on her first month off the pill, and when she heard what we're going through she asked if we'd considered adoption. Yeah, please don't close the door on pregnancy just yet for us!
These boards have been so helpful to me trying to deal with infertility, as its hard to talk to those around me who just don't get it.

 

[KatO79]

It's so hard to make people understand what we're going through. A friend of mine who knew what we were going through, told me she got pregnant with her 2nd "by accident". They hadn't even decided if they wanted another since they were having issues as a couple. They got really drunk one night, and she said "well maybe we shouldn't have sex since I'm ovulating", but they couldn't hold back, so of course they did and of course they got pregnant. I know she doesn't mean any harm from the comments, but hearing how easy it was for them, is not exactly what I want to hear right now. Another friend just got pregnant on her first month off the pill, and when she heard what we're going through she asked if we'd considered adoption. Yeah, please don't close the door on pregnancy just yet for us!
These boards have been so helpful to me trying to deal with infertility, as its hard to talk to those around me who just don't get it.

Awwww so sorry amanda, and wow what's up with the one that already voiced adoption One of my friends did the same thing though when I told her last summer we were going to start IUI (she doesn't have any kids though and is adopted herself). I don't know why so many come up with that, like we can't think up that option ourselves. Plus if adoption is so wonderful, why don't many of the ones that had an easy time conceiving adopt because isn't it almost more selfish of them to keep having their own children and not adopt than it is for us that have issues??!! I just told my friend though we'd give it a good go with assisted conception first by using up our 6 IUI tries, which we've done (all ended in AF/BFN), and 3 IVF tries (our 1st IVF ended in a CP; doing IVF #2 in January) plus unlimited FETs and consider it if things look really bad for our chances of having our "own" child.

 

[nmv]

Hey ladies, I had a really hard time at my husband's family Christmas Sunday night and I really need to vent about it...

I have PCOS, so we were truly shocked when we got pregnant on our first try, but it turned out to be a CP...that was 14 months ago, and we haven't had any luck since. (In the mean time, my sister who also has PCOS, lucked into her 3rd accidental pregnancy, and I now have a 6 week old niece....which is a huge mess of emotions from ecstatic to devastated...) After little sis got pregnant I caved and tried Clomid, which helped me ovulate 6 months in a row!!!....but nothing came of it....

Then last month DH was hospitalized for a week with a golf ball-sized abscess in his intestinal wall which we were lucky he lived through, but this also puts a hold on our baby making plans until March or April, after his surgery. It just seems like there are endless complications everywhere we turn.

Then Sunday, 3 remarks piled up on each other and sent me over the edge.

1) DH's cousin's 19 year old daughter was talking about stopping at the 2 kids she already has (yes, DH's younger cousin is a grandma twice over already) and everyone was rolling their eyes.

"That's what I said too!", said her mother, "Then I had your little brother.".....following with, "It's just too easy to have more."

I felt a little, painful pinch in my chest, and all I could say was, "That's what I hear."

2) 10 minutes later I heard the 20 year old father call his 3 year old daughter "A pain in his ass"

3) After presents were opened and dinner was eaten, the 3 year old was full of energy and driving some people a bit crazy. DH's aunt looked at me and said, "Are you SURE you want kids?!"...someone else said, "You can borrow this one. It's always good to test before you buy, right?"

They didn't mean to be hurtful, but it was like a knife through my heart!
Am I SURE I want kids???? NOTHING would make my life more complete!!!!
Seeing someone's child have a little tantrum or fit of excitement isn't going to suddenly change my mind!!

I ended up in the bathroom for 10 minutes to hide my mini breakdown...
I don't like the holidays lately, they just hurt...

 

[amanda1235]

Nmv that sound awful! People are so insensitive, and it seems like there's nothing you can say to make anyone understand. "It's just too easy to have more". Wow!
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that

And, if one more person tells me that I need to just relax and think positively, and that it will happen it just takes time.....I'm going to lose it. Like I'm not TRYING to relax and be positive. Get in my shoes and tell me how to do that.

Hehe feels good to be able to vent to people who get it

 

[nmv]

Nmv that sound awful! People are so insensitive, and it seems like there's nothing you can say to make anyone understand. "It's just too easy to have more". Wow!
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that

And, if one more person tells me that I need to just relax and think positively, and that it will happen it just takes time.....I'm going to lose it. Like I'm not TRYING to relax and be positive. Get in my shoes and tell me how to do that.

Hehe feels good to be able to vent to people who get it

It really does help with the sanity, doesn't it!!

 

[Smille24]

That is so awful! I'm so sorry that you went through that during the holidays. They are ignorant to the fact that there are many couples who struggle. I don't think people truly know how many couples have a terrible time ttc.

We saw the Christmas babies on the news and my bil looked over and said "you think that'll be you guys next year?" I sunk down into my chair. I just didn't want his mom to hear and start on me. We are going through our first round of IUI this cycle and we haven't told them yet.

 

[nmv]

Smille...Good luck with your IUI!!! Maybe you WILL have another little one by next Christmas! I'm pulling for you guys!!

Hubby and I were scheduled to do an IUI last cycle, but that got put on hold until after his surgery. At least they finally confirmed my blood sugar issue and put me on Metformin, so I feel like I'm addressing the underlying issue. Maybe when hubby has healed, we'll try a few cycles with this current regimine before doing the IUI. FX!!!

...but here's something I just don't understand...
Why in the world is it so hard to get a PCOS diagnosis, anyway?!!?? I have been trying to get answers since I was a teenager, but even after my own research told me it was likely PCOS, the doctors still glossed right over my issues and sent me on my way. Only after my little sister got diagnosed and I found a knowledgeable OBGYN, did I feel heard, at long last!

Overall, it took 17 years (and at least 7 doctors) to get an official diagnosis and be started on Clomid.....then another 6 months to get referred to an RE where I was FINALLY put on Metformin!
(This is three years after directly telling a doctor I wanted my blood sugar tested, and was refused.)

Slightly off-topic rant...but this has been irking me for quite some time!

 

[Smille24]

Thank you so much! I'm hoping ot works the 1st round. I just want my life back.

I can't answer that question. I truly think some drs are only there foe a paycheck and don't actually want to listen to or help their patients. It is so hard to find a dr who is there to help and listen to your concerns. I'm so sorry you went through all of that when you had an instinct of what the issue was.

It took me 3 obs to finally find the one I go to. She's so nice and always made me feel like a priority. Until we found out my dh was the issue she always had a plan and listened to my concerns. It's so hard to find that nowadays.

 

[Bekah78]

My PCOS took forever to be diagnosed too. If one more health professional had said "but you're not fat and hairy" to me when I told them my condition I think I'd have screamed. They reckon that's why took so long to diagnose because I didn't fit the look of a PCOS sufferer.

Hope you get your BFPs in 2016 ladies.

 

[nmv]

My PCOS took forever to be diagnosed too. If one more health professional had said "but you're not fat and hairy" to me when I told them my condition I think I'd have screamed. They reckon that's why took so long to diagnose because I didn't fit the look of a PCOS sufferer.

Hope you get your BFPs in 2016 ladies.

Omg, Bekah...I could have written this myself! That is EXACTLY what my awesome new OBGYN said about my situation!

Apparently, its ok for a health "professional" to write off your concerns entirely, without even looking under the hood. If the outside looks fine and you're at a healthy weight, they assume there's no chance you could have this problem. They were wasting our time! I can't tell you how many times I was offered birth control pills to "regulate my cycle", like it was no big deal....it was a big screaming sign of something more sinister under the surface, but they just wanted to pump me with hormones and send me on my way. I didn't want to force things, I wanted to find out WHY, to address the underlying issue...and what about when I wanted to have kids (like now). Made no sense.

I wonder how many millions of women are living with this because they gave up on getting a diagnosis....or are just permanently on birth control and accept that it's "normal". If crazy erratic cycles happen to so many women, perhaps they need to start looking a little closer at the cause, because I think the actual numbers are much higher than 5-10%!

So very frustrating....and sad....


I hope we all get lucky in 2016!