Severe Agressive behavior in almost 3 year old?

[Ashley1012]

I literally cannot do this anymore. It's so bad I just scheduled an appointment with his doctor, this can't be normal. Something as simple as getting in the car sends him into a scratching, kicking, biting and screaming at the top of his lungs fit. He gets in his 9 month old brothers face and screams at the top of his lungs until he cries. He pulls my hair, uses obscene language (which I have no idea where he got it.)

I feel so bad feeling this way, but I dread my days with him sometimes. He will walk over and get his baseball bat and say "I'm going to hit you with this." No amount of redirection, time outs, talking about feelings works. This cannot be normal. He is up 2-4 times a night just screaming until one of us will lay with him. We try to be as consistent as possible, but I seriously cannot do this anymore...

He's a very smart boy, knows all his letters, colors, and seems ahead for his age. Someone help me!

 

[.Mrs.B.]

3 is still very little. It could be just a phase that he'll quickly pass, it could be that a change has unsettled him. I think you're doing the right thing seeing his doctor.
Does he go to a preschool? They copy everything they see at this age so he's likely to be picking up behaviours like the bat from somewhere.

 

[Ashley1012]

He does go to preschool, and I know he's probably getting his fascination with "bad guys" from there. I've been telling myself "it's just a phase" for almost four months, but it is getting progressively worse. He scratched me so bad today I was bleeding. I am starting to worry for our safety.

 

[jjconcern]

You are correct in thinking that this is not normal behavior for a 3 year old and a bright one as well. Your physician should offer you the option to go to the school district in which he resides and have a free psychoeducational evaluation/assessment to in order to determine his abilities and any other psychological or physical problems. They will then give you options for treatment if necessary in the district's therapeutic preschool program that is free of cost or you may decide to seek private professional help. I would start this process as soon as you can as it takes awhile. Meanwhile start a diary of his behavior so that you can discover any patterns that you see in his behavior and also write down what he was like as a baby and when his aggressiveness started and escalated or got worse. Also record any changes you see in his behavior when around other persons besides yourself and what is his behavior like at school.
All of this information will help you as well as his physician and anyone else who is evaluating his behavior. Meanwhile protect your younger child as well as yourself from him by providing time outs, etc. He needs to understand that you won't allow him to hurt other people even if he feels like it. As hard as it is, it is best to identify the problem and t seek treatment early so that behavior patterns aren't firmly established and harder to treat. My best to you and your family.

 

[Ashley1012]

Thanks for the reply. I'm literally in tears snuggling next to him while he's asleep. I'm nervous for the doctors appointment but I can't keep continuing like this. This morning was complete chaos trying to leave. I'm just hoping we can find out why he has all of this anger and help him properly cope with it

 

[Ashley1012]

We talked to his doctor and got a referral to a behavior therapist. I meet with them in a couple weeks alone to discuss behavior, then will schedule an appointment with DS. My doctor said they will give me new tips and some guidance, which is much needed! I'm out of ideas.