Sex...

Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by Expecting1, Oct 11, 2013.

  1. Expecting1

    Expecting1 Well-Known Member

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    Vaginal delivery with suction, and second deg episiotomy and seperate tear. We tried at 6 wks pp but had to stop at the tip! And we only just successfully (for hubby lol) had sex for the first time since I gave birth.
    OMG it hurt so bad I was crying! (I said to continue)
    How many times did it take to not hurt anymore??? My scars don't hurt it seems to be like 'around' it... where my hair grows :blush: ugh too hard to think about describing lol. Please tell me it gets better. ....
    *I posted here because there's more traffic than postnatal and I feel like we're past that sort of stage:confused:*
     
  2. missk1989

    missk1989 Well-Known Member

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    I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself to get back to normal. I had a minor tear with no stitches and waited until 8 weeks. It was tender until about 12 weeks. You will probably take longer to heal and I would imagine would heal alot quicker if you avoid stimulating the area too much.
     
  3. Noodlebear

    Noodlebear Mummy of 1

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    Wow you've started pretty early :haha: we didn't have sex for aaaaaages. I had an episiotomy too and I'm pretty sure I was still sitting on cushions around 6 weeks.... I wanted to wait until I felt fully healed and I think my partner was too frightened of hurting me to initiate anything for a while x
     
  4. Radkat

    Radkat Well-Known Member

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    I had a 2nd degree tear as well and it was maybe 6 months before I felt back to normal. I think it's because scar tissue doesn't stretch as well as regular skin. I agree with taking your time. It doesn't mean you can't be intimate. Do other things that aren't intercourse. But keep trying. It will get better!
     
  5. DragonflyWing

    DragonflyWing Well-Known Member

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    I had a c-section, and I still had a hard time...we tried at 6 weeks, but it was too painful and so tight he couldn't get in. We tried again at about 9 weeks and that was slightly better, but it wasn't until about 3 months that it was totally comfortable again.
     
  6. leiapaulsen

    leiapaulsen busy mommy of 4

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    I must be an oddball lol... we tried at 2.5 weeks it was uncomfortable and I didnt orgasm... but at 4 weeks it was AWESOME!! I had a 1st degree tear but I think I was more sore from the catheter tbh.
     
  7. Noodlebear

    Noodlebear Mummy of 1

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    Sorry TMI but.....

    At 2.5 weeks I was still stitched up and bleeding, I think I was slowly getting there at 4 weeks..... :haha: there's absolutely no way that would've happened!
     
  8. leiapaulsen

    leiapaulsen busy mommy of 4

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    Lol I guess I should have put I had stopped bleeding completely and I only had one stitch which had dissolved by then. I know with my other kidos I waited longer but I guess with the hormones and the fact it had been soooooi long I was just super horny lol (sorry TMI)
     
  9. eew1471

    eew1471 Well-Known Member

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    I had a c section lil over two weeks ago and I'm ready to go but to scared to try :nope:. It has been soooo long it's almost like I'm a virgin again! I can't wait to be physically able to make love to my DH, I miss the intimacy and closeness it gives us! Besides the fact that my DH is a sexy sexy man and I have to pretty much look and not touch! I think as soon as I quit bleeding i want to ease into it with some oral and lots of foreplay :winkwink:
     
  10. lanaross

    lanaross Mom to Bella and Greyson

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    geez 6 weeks! you're brave! I waited three-four months and it became great again without any pain a year later. That said when I gave birth this time my obgyn discovered why it took so long - apparently there was some scar tissue left that made matters worse if you know what I mean :) She removed it but the jury is still out -- I still need to test her theory :)
     
  11. BrollyDolly

    BrollyDolly Mummy of 1

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    I'm really worrying about having sex, we haven't tried it yet, I'm still a little sore but like OP it's not so much where the stitches were but more on the outside where the hair grows it feels really tight, the only way I can describe it is like trying to pull a plaster off your arm hair haha. I'm waiting until after my 6 week check to try it though, hopefully it won't be too bad and the fear is all in my head. It's comforting to know that some people are having it in the first few weeks and it's enjoyable though Xx
     
  12. Joss_Taylor

    Joss_Taylor Well-Known Member

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    I had an episiotomy and a separate tear as well and it hurt for ages but we had sex at 6 weeks. It was miserable and DH stopped. We did at about 8 weeks again and were able to finish but it still hurt some. Now 19 weeks PP were able to normal besides my initial freak out because I'm scared it's going to hurt.:haha:
    Every once in a while I still get an ache down there or it feels heavy (that's the only way I can explain it).
     
  13. dizzy65

    dizzy65 Momma of my 4 Boys!

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    With my first i had to get DH to have sex with me everyother day, but not finish just until i got used to something there again i had a really rough delievery the first time around and it took tell iw as 6months pp to be able to have sex with out feeling pain.
     
  14. DJJ

    DJJ mummy

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    For me my LO is 13 months and sex is still painful.Im waiting for a fentons procedure to sort things out.so if your worried and it still hurts months later please petit checked.hope its just normal healing for u.
     
  15. Indi84

    Indi84 Well-Known Member

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    I had a second degree tear and was ok by six weeks, but, that's just me. don't worry hun you will heal, but you need to take your bodies cues!
     
  16. CaptainMummy

    CaptainMummy Well-Known Member

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    We dtd yesterday for the first time. It wasnt painful or uncomfortable for me at all. I had a first degree tear but didnt need stitches.
    With dd1, I had a second degree tear, a large graze and lots of stitches... and I think we did it around the same time.. so 5 or so weeks and it was a bit uncomfortable but not sore.

    I stopped bleeding after 3.5/4weeks
     
  17. Expecting1

    Expecting1 Well-Known Member

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    Wow Thank you all so much for your replies! :hugs: I fell asleep with no replies and woke up to two pages :haha:
    It's so damn annoying tbh because I have no pains, other than the odd uretheral twinge from having had a catheter, but my body is screaming to get a piece of my hubby :winkwink: but aparently it's not THAT ready lol.
    I will definitely be getting checked if the pain continues to be severe!! For the most part it didn't hurt, it used to be a different kind of hurt before pregnancy and now that 'hurt' is gone :happydance:

    We tried at 6wks because the midwives told us too.(and other than thick scar tissue; I was already feeling comfortable down there).. it didn't have to be bang on 6wks but we were told to at least try by my first docs visit. At the docs (6wk3d) hubby was told to stay away! Any kind of contact was a no-go as I hadn't healed well enough on the inside. He's been so good waiting :) but after that experience last night, I don't think he'll want to go anywhere near me :rofl:
    We'll dtd again next week I think :)
    Thank you all :flow: xxx
     
  18. Dawnlouise30

    Dawnlouise30 Well-Known Member

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    Gee i was four month pp when we tried and it was horrid and put me off. It was 6 months pp when we tried again and it was less sore by 7 months pp it was okay with lube. My LO is no nearly 1 and we still need to use lube.
    I have no idea why it took so long for me to feel okay. He was a big baby and forceps delivery with a second degree tear and episiotomy, had also spent an hour stuck (but not distressed) so was just pushing down on me..... I was left feeling so bruised and seriouly i could not do pelvic floor excercises till 7 months pp without them hurting me.
     
  19. Dani_Ldn

    Dani_Ldn Well-Known Member

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    I had a section too, we barely had sex the whole pregnancy as I felt rubbish, first time was abt 6-7 weeks pp as it was hubby's day. It hurt as I was so tight & was still a little sore from the op. haven't tried again since as I am so tired & not in the mood.
     
  20. Eleanor ace

    Eleanor ace Well-Known Member

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    I had a 3rd/4th degree tear with my 1st but it healed well. We tried at 5 weeks pp but had to stop. Yeouch! Tried successfully at 6 weeks pp and then after a few more tries :haha: it started to feel good again and less terrifying!
    With DD I had a teeny 2nd degree tear and a 1st degree so we tried at 3 weeks pp and all was fine.

    Give it time, try whenever you want to and if it hurts just wait a little longer, it will feel better before you know it :)
     

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