"She can't breathe!"

[Kirei]

Gah, so I went to the library today, wearing LO in my mei tai. I wrapped her up really warm with my old pregnancy coat around both of us because it was pretty cold out today. Head close enough to kiss, she's really happy and goes to sleep, nice and comfy. We got to the library and a lady I know is outside and wants to look at her, but she talked quite loudly and woke her up! I said I'm going to go in the library to feed her. A man there was saying oh she can't breathe, that's why she's crying! I felt awful, I was trying to explain of course she can breathe but she's hungry but then he left anyway. By now she is screaming. I'm sure she's hungry so instead of trying to shift the mei tai down and latch her on like I sometimes do I take her out and give her a cuddle first because she never latches well if she's crying. I feel like everyone's staring at me. There are some young boys around so I decide when she's calm (library staff said how cute she looks!) I put her back in the mei tai (getting my straps tangled up because I'm flustered so taking ages over it). Because she smells my milk I guess she starts crying again, but I manage to latch her on and sit down to feed her. I just felt like everyone was staring at me thinking I'm a terrible mother. I found myself justifying myself to the library lady, saying she doesn't like it in the pram, she wants to be close to me. Once she's feeding well I put my coat back on and walked out and she was fine all the way home, went back to sleep after her nap and is asleep in the mei tai now. It was so embarrassing. Anyone got any tips, do I just need to get more confident?

 

[Sovereign]

Aww don't worry hun, you did great. You'll get more confident the more you take her out. Just ignore those people, they're talking silly x

 

[patch2006uk]

I got a few similar comments when LO was tiny. Now I get 'is he warm enough' or 'it's raining on his face'

Whatever you do, I think you're going to feel some judgement from some people some of the time. As long as you're happy and LO is happy, screw the rest

 

[nickyXjayno]

just don't care what anyone thinks. that's what I do, let them think what they want. loads of idiots come out with smart ass comments but you got to just plough on knowing your way is the only & best way.

 

[lepaskilf]

Of course she can breathe... she's crying!! I hate it when people just make comments without backing them up or in your case even sticking around for an explaination! They just do it to rile you and make themselves feel better. I wouldn't worry and just ignore them x

P.s... I think it's wonderful to be able to BF on the go! x

 

[Rachel_C]

Offer to choke people and see if they can scream!

It's horrible when you feel like everybody is staring. I find it helps to remember that teenagers stare at everybody anyway so they don't count and lots of adults, especially women, will have been in a similar situation at some point so they're probably either feeling glad it isn't them or sympathising with you. I sometimes look at people with crying babies and wait to catch their eye so I can smile at them, but I guess sometimes they don't see me smile and think I'm just staring! I bet a lot of people aren't thinking badly of you at all.

 

[NaturalMomma]

If you get the chance next time just say "yes she can, but she is ready to eat, babies cry when they are hungry"

 

[Kirei]

Thanks all, I think I'm just too self conscious, and need to have more confidence in myself. It's just when I've taken how out in the pram and she cries nobody seems to say anything but if she cries in the carrier I'm a terrible parent! (that's how it feels like people think anyway). My mum doesn't know I babywear out, I had to tell her I only do it in the home because she thinks I'll fall over. I actually feel a lot safer wearing her than with her in the pram to be honest and I know she wouldn't get hurt even if I did fall. I don't live near my mum so if she comes to stay I'll just use the pram, lol! x

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I totally know what you mean, I feel self conscious when Scarlett cries in the carrier, like people are thinking she should use a pram! I also tell people she hates the pram!

 

[LittleBoo]

Yesterday, I sat down with Cas in a back carry and heard "OHMIIGODDDD SHE'S SQUISHIN THA BABIIIIII!" from a young man at the back of the bus. My eldest (3) said "no e's not, silly man, he's a silly man isn't he mummy?"

*smug look*

 

[Kirei]

Lol LittleBoo I love your avatar! Today an old lady said, aww, she looks very comfortable, can she breathe? I was like, no she can't breathe, are babies supposed to breathe? Nobody told me that! Of course that isn't what I said, it's what I thought. x

 

[purple_kiwi]

I had a elderly woman tell me that when my DD was little and fussing in our wrap that she was cold thankfully my OH was with me and nicely pointed out that it be a bit hard for her to be cold when she was right against me under my coat lol. Some people really don't think.

 

[Kess]

Thanks all, I think I'm just too self conscious, and need to have more confidence in myself. It's just when I've taken how out in the pram and she cries nobody seems to say anything but if she cries in the carrier I'm a terrible parent! (that's how it feels like people think anyway). My mum doesn't know I babywear out, I had to tell her I only do it in the home because she thinks I'll fall over. I actually feel a lot safer wearing her than with her in the pram to be honest and I know she wouldn't get hurt even if I did fall. I don't live near my mum so if she comes to stay I'll just use the pram, lol! x

It's the same with everything, if you do something out of the norm then any 'bad' things are because of that. We're expecting it with our plan to home educate - my DH has said Ro better do at above average otherwise his family will kill him as they'll blame the HE. Yet if he was in school and below average people would think, well, maybe he's not that academic, or maybe the fact he's a summer born boy means he'll catch up later, or maybe he's got SEN. They wouldn't think, "Oh how terrible that Ro is doing badly in school, his parents ought to HE."

I had a elderly woman tell me that when my DD was little and fussing in our wrap that she was cold thankfully my OH was with me and nicely pointed out that it be a bit hard for her to be cold when she was right against me under my coat lol. Some people really don't think.

It's funny I always get the opposite. Every old lady we see tells me LO looks snug, warm, comfy, etc. People in my conservative little village where I think I'm the only crunchy mama seem strangely pro-BWing! The Dr was asking me all about Ro's BG Freetime the other day too lol - "They didn't have these in my day, how does it work? Did you make it? And you just wash it?"