shocked

[Andrea28]

Hi i'm andrea im 30 and I have three children 11 5 and my little on just turned 1 in December, two days ago I realised I was 3 days late I decided to test on a cb digital and It said pregnant 2-3 im in complete shock me and hubby have been using withdrawal method and I know that's not safe but we have done it 100s of times before but I guess we were lucky dh was meant to be getting a vasectomy but was dragging his heels we can't afford 4 but I want the baby my mum and 1 of my sisters are very supportive but my older sis and dh keep trying to persuade me to terminate I can't even think of that even though it will turn our life's upside down everything will be too small car, house etc sorry for the essay just wanted to vent xxx

 

[xCookieDoughx]

You need to do what's right for you hun, no one can force you either way and no decision is made lightly. There are ways of getting around things like bigger car etc, you'll be surprised at the help!

I made a decision when I was Young to not carry on with an unplanned pregnancy as I was Young, living with my mum and abusive stepdad and the dad was freaking out saying that he was off as he didn't want kids! I new that I would be homeless with a newborn and I couldn't do that! But even to this day, there isn't a day where I don't think about the baby, how old it would be, what it would be doing etc.

It isn't a decision made lightly and you need to think all your options through first before you make it. But you need to be 100% sure on it before you do it or the regret will hang over you forever.

I hope you do have a happy and healthy 9 months and have your beautiful baby at the end of it. Like I said, there isn't a problem that can't be worked around. Private message me if you want to talk more x

 

[tryn4]

This is happening to us right now. My daughter is barely 11 months and I found out end of November I'm pregnant. We were using withdrawal and my husband was so serious about because we can't afford another child. We have 5 right now and are stretched so thin. I'm just coming off maternity leave as well and am petrified of losing my job. My husband was visibly upset when I told him and he wanted to terminate. I got completely hysterical and cried. I told him I just cannot do that. So many ppl had tried to encourage me to abort my previous pregnancies (the older ones, I was young and a single mom) but I'm so glad I didn't. They are my pride and joy. I told my husband if he forced me (not possible ) to do that I would resent him for the rest of our lives. By the next day he was ok and rubbing my tummy saying maybe it's a boy...my mother freaked when I told her saying that I'm old and the baby will probably have downs syndrome. I haven't spoken to her since. It is what it is. Some people will be supporting some won't but you know what's best as a mother. I'm not going to risk being regretful for the rest of my life just to please anyone. I'm sure this will be my last but a life is a life and I will love this little life just like all my others and I will make it work to afford everything. Best of luck and don't worry!

 

[pipsbabybean]

Hi Andrea, I recognise ur pic from the boards last year, I have a girl born dec last year to
I think I'm in the same boat as u there lol
Withdrawl method and pretty sure just got my Bfp

U have to follow your heart , we are pretty stretched for space to
Like u sed it's ment to be

 

[Andrea28]

Thanx girls the support means a lot

tryn4 nice to know I'm not the only one its difficult I feel guilty bcos i know we can't afford it (we support our self's no benefits) but that last bit you said brought tears to my eyes

pipsbabybean Omg I recognise your name too how is your little one getting on? can't believe we are both back here im terrified of having such a small gap alana and brad are 6 years apart and brad and izabella are 5 years apart never had 2 little ones before xx

 

[CamoQueen]

Like they say, where there's a will, there's a way. If I were you, I would sit down with my income and bills and make up a budget for the things you'll need with a new baby's arrival. If you really, really want this baby, you and your husband can make it work. It may take more saving, less leisure activities or more hours at work, but it's doable.

Good luck with your pregnancy and in making whatever decision is best for you and your family.

 

[HerdingDogs]

Hey you.

I 100% agree that you and ONLY YOU know what is best. Nobody is ever "ready" for a baby, it is always a struggle. It's okay to want to keep the baby, and it'd be okay if you don't. You have to do what is right for you and your family.

I have terminated two pregnancies. I normally only talk about one because it's the one that I don't lost sleep over. I'm going to share them with you briefly. The first, I made because I was not financially able to care for the baby, I was young and still in college, and the dad did not want the kid nor should that guy be fathering children. The second was for my health. Carrying to term had a very high chance of me losing my ovary AND the baby. The first one took me 5 years to get over, and I became an alcoholic dealing with it. Don't worry, I'm more than okay now. The second, it hurts for a few weeks. But I knew I made the right choice.

I'm pregnant now and come hell or high water I am not giving up my baby. But I'm in a good place financially, relationship wise. But hey! I need a new car. I drive a Prius, but I have two dogs, two cats, and a snake. One dog rides in the car, the other in a crate, and I was driving to LA the other day thinking, "Huh... where would I even put a carseat where the dogs can't get to the baby? " I live in a two bedroom, one bath house. The cats take the spare. So huh do I move the cats out into the living room so I can have the spare room for the baby or do I beg my parents to let me rent their other house with more space for my pets so I could use the spare bedroom for a baby but have my rent tripled? My savings was for buying a small house in 10 years (yay Bay Area, CA) but bye bye home ownership and hello college fund. Lol.

Point: You know what is best. You can make it work, but it will be hard. We support you either way.

 

[tryn4]

It will work. I raised 4 children on a less than 10k a yr income by myself. No car, small apartment, no money whatsoever. No family just a few good friends. Looking back we had some great times some awful. My kids don't even remember my struggle now cuz they live a better life but it made me appreciate how far I've come. My husband will work to the bone to ensure I don't have to go back to that life but everything will be ok. You never know who that little person will grow to be. I feel a bit of guilt too because I know how hard we especially hubby works and I didn't want to add stress but then I realized hey I didn't steal his sperm and inject it lol...he was there too! The kids I don't feel bad the more they get the more ungrateful they seem to be. Sharing builds humble character imo!