Shop assistant smacks 3 y/o!

[LoraLoo]

Why are people refering to a 50 year old as elderly? It is not old. My parents are in their early 50's and they are not old. It was never okay for them to hit strangers children when they were parents in their twenties and thirties. So I dont think the different era quite cuts it.

Did you ask your parents if it is was okay to smack a child lightly on the bottom in their time? I think 50+ is old, my parents in that age and I expect people to treat them with the respect accorded to the elderly.

Also the people saying if an adult ran round the store smashing things etc. Lets get this into perspective, one thing being smashed alongside a tantrum does not equal running round a store smashing things. It equals normal three year old behaviour and an accident which is a bit different from what running round the store suggests. So if an adult accidently knocked one item then I very much doubt store security would be physically reprimanding them.

Expectations of little people is so huge now. Three years old is just tiny and they dont know that it is going to piss the shop assistant off if they have a tantrum.

My almost five year old has melt downs because she has a social communication disorder (otherwise known as things like autism, aspergers). She will have them when out because loud nosies, crowds, unusual places, her routine changing, change of any description distresses her. I cant put her in a pushchair or on reins, it wouldnt be fair as she doesnt want to be different to other five year olds. And how long am I suppose to do that for until she is a teen because this is her now and always? Would it of been okay for someone to tap/smack her bum? And as a parent with more than one child, yes occassionally I have to take my eyes off of her as I need to deal with my other children. Even if I had just her then I would probably at times still take my eyes off her because I am not perfect and we all get distracted from time to time.

And finally, anyone else thinking why are glass bottles of dettol on display in a place easy for young children to reach/knock? Kinda dangerous IMO.

In the article, it's the mother who describes it as a tantrum. I agree it's normal toddler behavior but not for adults, which is why people shouldn't compare the two. If an adult throws a tantrum in the store (whether it involves running around or not), he or she will be asked to leave or be physically removed is resisted.

Yes I did, and no it was not acceptable in London UK to hit/smack/tap a child that you didnt know. 50 is not seen as elderly where I live

So it was okay to smack just not someone they don't know, is it really inconceivable that this lady thought it's okay when a child comes into the shop?

I didnt say it wasnt a tantrum but smashing things implies a plural and it was ONE thing, therefore not smashing things at all but smashing something. Accidentally at that.

Make it singular, does it make it okay for an adult to throw a tantrum in the shop?

Can I ask where you live? I dont mean exact place but country because I am wondering if it is a cultrual thing that a) 50 is seen as old b) it was ever accepted in society in the 70's/80's (when this woman would of been a parent of young children herself, if she had them) as it was more like the 50's that a clip round the ear would happen from strangers here c) the security here wouldnt be allowed to touch you unless you steal something (and even then it is only restraining someone not physically removing them), to physically remove someone the police would need to be called.

I'm from SEA, and I've lived in London, there are Londoners who think 50+ is old, Londoners who think smacking is okay, Londoners who think parents don't discipline their children enough so this is okay, and if an adult throws a tantrum which would likely cause a commotion, they will be removed if refused to leave.

A child of 3 cant really control their behaviour An adult can, so of course an adult would be removed it they were purposefully causing damage. A 3 year old doesnt know any better. Smacking a child is not going to learn or teach them anything.

 

[NoodleSnack]

50 is not oap how patronising what are the people who are making the comments about being old in there teens!! Lol my mums 50 and I would say she's a fairly young gran! X

Well my mum on the other hand pressured me to have a baby years ago because she was getting old and she wanted a grandchild (her words), and I'm closer to 30. They quite enjoy being "old" because that's a special status with leverage over us.

Different people can have very different perspectives in life.

 

[NoodleSnack]

I can honestly say I am full on shocked people don't think she should be sacked for hitting a customers child. That is gross misconduct. If a teacher hit a child they would be sacked. If a health professional hit a patient they would be sacked. It should be the same for any job working with the public. Maybe I just have high expectations of shop assistants... When I was a teen I worked in a supermarket and saw people sacked for much less.

Did you like working there? Did you feel your manager cares about the workers?

I don't feel like its relevant but I didnt enjoy working there no. It was a stop gap until I was old enough to go into a job I could use to my advantage. I don't think I spoke to a manager the whole 12 months I worked there so wouldn't know.

It's relevant because when you care about your employees you do your best to preserve their livelihood, you don't sack them unless you have to or they have a lousy work attitude. I had ladies in their 50s and 60s working in the same job their whole life, I would do my best to make sure they keep their job in this kind of situation.

I think smacking someone elses kid falls under 'lousy work attitude.'

If she smacked an adult she'd be sacked and done for assault, why should it be different that's it's a child who got hit?

This has been repeated a few times, does anyone here think it's okay for an adult to behave like a child and get away with it? So why keep comparing the two?

If she was racist to a customer would you be 'oh well back in your day it was completely normal to be that ignorant about coloured folk' nope, she'd be fired. Just because she's from a different era doesn't give her a free pass to do what the hell she likes.

If she was a racist, then she wouldn't be coming from a good place. If she was just "perceived" to be racist by an oversensitive customer when in fact she wasn't, I would try to cover for her if possible as well.

I don't care if back in her day it was the 'right thing' to do, it's not now. In a job like retail you have to keep up with the times not be stuck in a generation that's outdated now.

From a business point of view yes, from a humanising point of view, this could be a person's livelihood - taking that away should not be a light decision. How would you feel if the breadwinner in your house loses the job even if a mistake was made? That's what I think about when I've had to do it.

I'll say it once again - If you don't want to lose your livelihood, don't do anything to risk it in the first place. She did, and should be punished as such.

In my own experience, if workers are fired for every mistake they make, most people would not have long term jobs, and businesses are just revolving doors (which most are now aday anyway). But you are entitled to your view.

Also, 50 isn't old in the slightest. So in my opinion she should of known better. Did she really think she'd get a thank you or something? I'd love to hear her reason for doing that.

If only people would actually wait to hear her side before talking about hitting her or getting her fired. Maybe you'll hear that she didn't realise she was risking it (which I've already said)?

 

[NoodleSnack]

Why are people refering to a 50 year old as elderly? It is not old. My parents are in their early 50's and they are not old. It was never okay for them to hit strangers children when they were parents in their twenties and thirties. So I dont think the different era quite cuts it.

Did you ask your parents if it is was okay to smack a child lightly on the bottom in their time? I think 50+ is old, my parents in that age and I expect people to treat them with the respect accorded to the elderly.

Also the people saying if an adult ran round the store smashing things etc. Lets get this into perspective, one thing being smashed alongside a tantrum does not equal running round a store smashing things. It equals normal three year old behaviour and an accident which is a bit different from what running round the store suggests. So if an adult accidently knocked one item then I very much doubt store security would be physically reprimanding them.

Expectations of little people is so huge now. Three years old is just tiny and they dont know that it is going to piss the shop assistant off if they have a tantrum.

My almost five year old has melt downs because she has a social communication disorder (otherwise known as things like autism, aspergers). She will have them when out because loud nosies, crowds, unusual places, her routine changing, change of any description distresses her. I cant put her in a pushchair or on reins, it wouldnt be fair as she doesnt want to be different to other five year olds. And how long am I suppose to do that for until she is a teen because this is her now and always? Would it of been okay for someone to tap/smack her bum? And as a parent with more than one child, yes occassionally I have to take my eyes off of her as I need to deal with my other children. Even if I had just her then I would probably at times still take my eyes off her because I am not perfect and we all get distracted from time to time.

And finally, anyone else thinking why are glass bottles of dettol on display in a place easy for young children to reach/knock? Kinda dangerous IMO.

In the article, it's the mother who describes it as a tantrum. I agree it's normal toddler behavior but not for adults, which is why people shouldn't compare the two. If an adult throws a tantrum in the store (whether it involves running around or not), he or she will be asked to leave or be physically removed is resisted.

Yes I did, and no it was not acceptable in London UK to hit/smack/tap a child that you didnt know. 50 is not seen as elderly where I live

So it was okay to smack just not someone they don't know, is it really inconceivable that this lady thought it's okay when a child comes into the shop?

I didnt say it wasnt a tantrum but smashing things implies a plural and it was ONE thing, therefore not smashing things at all but smashing something. Accidentally at that.

Make it singular, does it make it okay for an adult to throw a tantrum in the shop?

Can I ask where you live? I dont mean exact place but country because I am wondering if it is a cultrual thing that a) 50 is seen as old b) it was ever accepted in society in the 70's/80's (when this woman would of been a parent of young children herself, if she had them) as it was more like the 50's that a clip round the ear would happen from strangers here c) the security here wouldnt be allowed to touch you unless you steal something (and even then it is only restraining someone not physically removing them), to physically remove someone the police would need to be called.

I'm from SEA, and I've lived in London, there are Londoners who think 50+ is old, Londoners who think smacking is okay, Londoners who think parents don't discipline their children enough so this is okay, and if an adult throws a tantrum which would likely cause a commotion, they will be removed if refused to leave.

A child of 3 cant really control their behaviour An adult can, so of course an adult would be removed it they were purposefully causing damage. A 3 year old doesnt know any better. Smacking a child is not going to learn or teach them anything.

Agree, which is why I made the point that the two should not be compared.

 

[Piper84]

A more valid comparison would be an adult with learning difficulties or an OAP suffering from senility or mobility problems. There would be outrage if they were hit, but a toddler who isn't as in control of its movements is apparently fair game in the eyes of the law. It's unbelievable

 

[NoodleSnack]

Love the comments referring to people in their 50s as elderly, or "back in their day" as though they were around for the invention of electricity. My mom is 50 and my aunt (her sister) is 55...both nowhere NEAR what I would call elderly, or at a point where I'd put unacceptable behaviour down to generation gaps. My 85 year old grandmother (if she were alive), sure. But I think the really casual mentality of giving small children a smack, especially when they're not your child, has been gone for quite some time.

I can't imagine anywhere I've worked not firing someone over this.

I wasn't around for the invention of the electricity but I have no doubt that when my son grows up, some of my ideas will not be understood by him just as I can't see things the way my parents do because we grow up differently. One of the things that always put a wedge between me and my mum is that she tries to do things which she thinks is good for me vs what I think is good for me. Her excuse: she's older and sees things differently (or really, she's just a different person). So maybe, when people express a different opinion (as in subjective), which maybe you think is ridiculous, stop and give them the benefit of the doubt, ask them questions, instead of making fun of it or assume the worst right away. Same with this old lady in the story.

 

[NoodleSnack]

A more valid comparison would be an adult with learning difficulties or an OAP suffering from senility or mobility problems. There would be outrage if they were hit, but a toddler who isn't as in control of its movements is apparently fair game in the eyes of the law. It's unbelievable

I don't think there's been a time when hitting a disabled person is thought of as a valid form of discipline.

And I'm not sure about lumping all adults with learning difficulties and assume they have the faculties of a toddler, some are really smart and well-functioning.

 

[Tasha]

So it was okay to smack just not someone they don't know, is it really inconceivable that this lady thought it's okay when a child comes into the shop?

Make it singular, does it make it okay for an adult to throw a tantrum in the shop?


I'm from SEA, and I've lived in London, there are Londoners who think 50+ is old, Londoners who think smacking is okay, Londoners who think parents don't discipline their children enough so this is okay, and if an adult throws a tantrum which would likely cause a commotion, they will be removed if refused to leave.

Nope, I didnt say that. No it was not acceptable to hit any child but their own when their children were young (in the late 70's and early 80's).

Regardless of what an adult did or didnt do, no one would think it okay to hit them for their actions in a shop. So regardless of what a child did or didnt do, the same should apply.

Well there might be those people but from the part I am from they are certainly the minority. It hasnt been accepted in society here for a long time, and therefore era and age is not a valid excuse and besides if you break the law (which IMO this is) then you cant stand in a court and say well I am old or thirty years ago it was okay. It is not an excuse.

 

[WelshOneEmma]

In my own experience, if workers are fired for every mistake they make, most people would not have long term jobs, and businesses are just revolving doors (which most are now aday anyway). But you are entitled to your view.

True. I made a mistake a few years ago in my job (which I still have) which cost the company $18m (yep, eighteen million dollars) and I am still there. Got one hell of a bollocking and never made that mistake again mind!

 

[lemongrass]

In my own experience, if workers are fired for every mistake they make, most people would not have long term jobs, and businesses are just revolving doors (which most are now aday anyway). But you are entitled to your view.

True. I made a mistake a few years ago in my job (which I still have) which cost the company $18m (yep, eighteen million dollars) and I am still there. Got one hell of a bollocking and never made that mistake again mind!

What did you do??

 

[WelshOneEmma]

In my own experience, if workers are fired for every mistake they make, most people would not have long term jobs, and businesses are just revolving doors (which most are now aday anyway). But you are entitled to your view.

True. I made a mistake a few years ago in my job (which I still have) which cost the company $18m (yep, eighteen million dollars) and I am still there. Got one hell of a bollocking and never made that mistake again mind!

What did you do??

preparing a client bid, due to the nature of it i missed the deadline (due last thing Friday, was sent Sunday so they had it first thing Monday, like they would have had if we submitted COB Friday) so they refused to look at the bid which was ours to lose.

 

[staralfur]

I don't think people should be fired for every mistake, but people also shouldn't automatically get second chances if they do something wrong. IMO smacking a child is more than deserving of a firing.

 

[babydust1990]

We're not talking about sacking someone for making a small mistake, she smacked a customer at the end of the day. Its a deliberate action. If a staff member was stealing from the till, even if it was just £1 a shift they would be sacked as its a deliberate action. She can't turn around and say 'oh my hand slipped' or 'I lost my temper' because those excuses don't cut it.

 

[Piper84]

A more valid comparison would be an adult with learning difficulties or an OAP suffering from senility or mobility problems. There would be outrage if they were hit, but a toddler who isn't as in control of its movements is apparently fair game in the eyes of the law. It's unbelievable

I don't think there's been a time when hitting a disabled person is thought of as a valid form of discipline.

Exactly.

And I'm not sure about lumping all adults with learning difficulties and assume they have the faculties of a toddler, some are really smart and well-functioning.

Just as some adults with learning difficulties are in fine control of their movements, not all toddlers knock things off shelves, but the possibility is there, so the comparison is fine in my view.

 

[EmzLouise]

We're not talking about sacking someone for making a small mistake, she smacked a customer at the end of the day. Its a deliberate action. If a staff member was stealing from the till, even if it was just £1 a shift they would be sacked as its a deliberate action. She can't turn around and say 'oh my hand slipped' or 'I lost my temper' because those excuses don't cut it.

 

[Raven24]

I dont think she should lose her job hit the woman employee and boots need to acknowledge what happened and stop trying to sweep it under the rug. She should apologise to the mother in person and have to undergo further training of some sort. From what ive read she didnt hurt the child she lightly tapped her bottom which is very wrong but ahe didnt hurt her so i think sackin is a bit over the top.
However she needs to be disciplined in some way. She took it upon herself to discipline a strangers child for a seemingly small accident. It not ok for an adult to think its acceptable to do that.

 

[Noelle610]

I do think she should lose her job. Perhaps that sounds harsh, but if you touch anyone in an aggressive way in the work place - regardless of how much it "hurts" - you are usually let go.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I do think she should lose her job. Perhaps that sounds harsh, but if you touch anyone in an aggressive way in the work place - regardless of how much it "hurts" - you are usually let go.

I agree and also if you touch someone in your everyday life, you can be arrested for assault, so what makes this different? She put her hands on a child who was not hers, i couldn't care less how gentle it was, she has no right. She should be fired IMO

 

[Raven24]

In that case if she had patted the child on the head n an affectionate way would she also be fired?

 

[staralfur]

No, that's not even remotely close to being the same thing.