Shop assistant smacks 3 y/o!

[Piper84]

The equivalent of Boots in Germany, a chain called DM, goes out of its way to be accommodating to people with children, as they make up a huge proportion of its shoppers. There are changing tables with free nappies and wipes in most branches and sometimes even a play area with drawing materials and a rocking horse type thing. I cannot, within my wildest dreams, imagine one of its employees presuming to physically discipline a customer's child for anything.

It goes to show how f***ed up our attitude to children is in England that anyone is allowed to strike them without any repercussions. We need to sort it out like they've managed to in Scotland

 

[EmzLouise]

I can honestly say I am full on shocked people don't think she should be sacked for hitting a customers child. That is gross misconduct. If a teacher hit a child they would be sacked. If a health professional hit a patient they would be sacked. It should be the same for any job working with the public. Maybe I just have high expectations of shop assistants... When I was a teen I worked in a supermarket and saw people sacked for much less.

Did you like working there? Did you feel your manager cares about the workers?

I don't feel like its relevant but I didnt enjoy working there no. It was a stop gap until I was old enough to go into a job I could use to my advantage. I don't think I spoke to a manager the whole 12 months I worked there so wouldn't know.

It's relevant because when you care about your employees you do your best to preserve their livelihood, you don't sack them unless you have to or they have a lousy work attitude. I had ladies in their 50s and 60s working in the same job their whole life, I would do my best to make sure they keep their job in this kind of situation.

I think smacking someone elses kid falls under 'lousy work attitude.'

If she smacked an adult she'd be sacked and done for assault, why should it be different that's it's a child who got hit? If she was racist to a customer would you be 'oh well back in your day it was completely normal to be that ignorant about coloured folk' nope, she'd be fired. Just because she's from a different era doesn't give her a free pass to do what the hell she likes.

I don't care if back in her day it was the 'right thing' to do, it's not now. In a job like retail you have to keep up with the times not be stuck in a generation that's outdated now.

 

[Scottish mum]

The people who voted that the shop owner was right its crap and I tell you why.... You can bet you bottom dollar that if it was there child and this happend it would be a different story!

Yes it bloody drives me nuts to see kids left unattended and to run a mock! Especially when your in a cafe or shopping in a clothes shop or something!! I for one would not allow my lo to act like this!! If a shop assistant came to me about my lo acting out I would ensure that he was dealt with but not by the happy slapping shop assistant!!

 

[Piggywinkle]

I just wonder where the line is drawn... what if an adult with learning difficulties did the same thing? How about an elderly person suffering from alzheimers and was confused did the same thing? Would it be ok to hit these members of the public? So why is it ok to use violence on a child who has no chance of understanding the situation or defending herself?

I discipline my daighter without resorting to violence. It's how I was raised and it worked with me. I've never used a disrespectful word towards my mother in my life. So you can bet your bottom dollar I'd be peed off if a stranger saw fit to undermine the way I parent by hitting MY CHILD. I'd expect to pay for/clean up any damage caused and to leave the store, fair enough. I'm lucky, my LO is well-behaved in public, but even if that little girl ran riot in that shop and ripped things off the wall, that's irrelevant. That assistant had no right to lay hands on her.

As for taking the shop assistant's age into account, well bullsh*t. My mother works in the retail sector and even she was disgusted when she heard the story and she's in her mid-fifties too. I'm sorry, but if you're the kind of person who hates the public THAT much that they drive you to hit small children, then you should be looking for another job.

 

[meli1981]

i just want to add giving YOUR own child a smack on the butt isnt violence!

 

[Raven24]

even if it was a really light tap, she still had no right to discipline someone elses child and i would be insisting that the women be atleast suspended and made to undertake some customer service training.
i wouldnt dream of smacking someone elses child there really is no need,the little girl knocked a bottle on the floor wow big deal, ive knocked things off the shelf before and at work the other night i broke a bottle of olive oil. did my manager come and spank me erm no.
i hope the woman is ashamed of herself

 

[meli1981]

i agree and realky hate it when other people discipline my children. she was out of line plain and simple.

 

[Piper84]

i just want to add giving YOUR own child a smack on the butt isnt violence!

Of course it is. It doesn't matter who's doing the smacking. It may be more acceptable, but that doesn't take away the fact it is violence.

 

[SerenityNow]

"Older generation" is not excuse. For one thing 50 is not that old! I'm guessing I'm closer to her age than I am to many of the posters here and I have many friends who are in their late 40s and early 50s. My own parents are in their 70s. I don't know anyone who would even consider smacking another persons child. It wasn't unheard or for a school principal to give a spanking when I was a kid, though it was rare and certainly extreme, but even then-- that is someone who is in a position to discipline children. I don't think there has been a generation in the past hundred years or more that would be okay with a stranger hitting a child.

However, the managers response is so bizarre, I think there is more to the story than what is being reported.

 

[meli1981]

this is the same arguement being dragged up and nobody will agree. my grandma was in a VERY abusive relationship with her first husband. thats REAL violence! a small smack on the butt is an attention getter. its not violence, its not hurting them. its not leaving a mark. and usually you do it once, and dont have to do it again. but then again we will never agree so whats the point? i agree the lady was out of line, which is the purpose of the op, i just didnt like people calling it violence.

 

[Piper84]

this is the same arguement being dragged up and nobody will agree. my grandma was in a VERY abusive relationship with her first husband. thats REAL violence! a small smack on the butt is an attention getter. its not violence, its not hurting them. its not leaving a mark. and usually you do it once, and dont have to do it again. but then again we will never agree so whats the point? i agree the lady was out of line, which is the purpose of the op, i just didnt like people calling it violence.

It's physical force intended to hurt.

It's a bad idea to try to quantify violence. With the same argument you could say that being raped by a stranger at knifepoint is REAL rape, whereas if you're just drunk haven't said "no" clearly enough it isn't.

 

[meli1981]

this is the same arguement being dragged up and nobody will agree. my grandma was in a VERY abusive relationship with her first husband. thats REAL violence! a small smack on the butt is an attention getter. its not violence, its not hurting them. its not leaving a mark. and usually you do it once, and dont have to do it again. but then again we will never agree so whats the point? i agree the lady was out of line, which is the purpose of the op, i just didnt like people calling it violence.

It's physical force intended to hurt.

It's a bad idea to try to quantify violence. With the same argument you could say that being raped by a stranger at knifepoint is REAL rape, whereas if you're just drunk haven't said "no" clearly enough it isn't.

that is ridiculous! when i smack my kids butts its NOT intended to hurt, its intended to snap them out of their tantrums. and btw that was not my argument, it was yours.

 

[Noelle610]

I know we're getting really off topic here, but I am of the belief that kids deserve respect just as adults do. If I was trying to get my husband and friend's attention, I wouldn't smack them on the bum and it would be considered really odd. So I wouldn't do that with my kid. I certainly don't think it's abuse, but it's not my thing.

 

[meli1981]

thank you, i appreciate you not calling it abuse. and its ok its not your thing, every parent does thing differently but i do believe there is a difference between adults and children

 

[lhancock90]

i just want to add giving YOUR own child a smack on the butt isnt violence!

Of course it is. It doesn't matter who's doing the smacking. It may be more acceptable, but that doesn't take away the fact it is violence.

 

[Piper84]

this is the same arguement being dragged up and nobody will agree. my grandma was in a VERY abusive relationship with her first husband. thats REAL violence! a small smack on the butt is an attention getter. its not violence, its not hurting them. its not leaving a mark. and usually you do it once, and dont have to do it again. but then again we will never agree so whats the point? i agree the lady was out of line, which is the purpose of the op, i just didnt like people calling it violence.

It's physical force intended to hurt.

It's a bad idea to try to quantify violence. With the same argument you could say that being raped by a stranger at knifepoint is REAL rape, whereas if you're just drunk haven't said "no" clearly enough it isn't.

that is ridiculous! when i smack my kids butts its NOT intended to hurt, its intended to snap them out of their tantrums. and btw that was not my argument, it was yours.

I didn't try to quantify anything, I just called smacking what it is. You seem to think it's not violence if you do it, but it is if someone else does.

The way you discipline your child or your grandmother's experiences have nothing to do with the fact.

 

[Piggywinkle]

I think the whole smacking debate is a separate issue and has been done to death on BnB - we're going to have to be grown-ups and agree to disagree on whether smacking your own kids is right or wrong. I believe that smacking is violent behaviour and that there are other ways of disciplining a child but it doesn't mean everyone has to agree with me - fair enough.

I just know that a shop assistant smacking a customer's child is most definitely out of order.

 

[LoraLoo]

Agree with the majority, its assalt and sickening, I would be devastated if ANYBODY hit my child.

 

[Noelle610]

I don't think I've been on BnB long enough! I haven't had the opportunity to be involved in a good smacking debate!

 

[LoraLoo]

I don't think I've been on BnB long enough! I haven't had the opportunity to be involved in a good smacking debate!

Honestly, you've had a lucky escape