Should I be allowing this?

[Eddie]

My child is five and very interested in babies and where they come from, although she doesn't know how they get there yet!

She has been watching 'One Born Every Minute' with our consent and is really fascinated by the process. She is not worried by it in the slightest.

Our child's teacher stopped us the other day and said could we have a word with our little girl as she had told another child where babies come from and a mother had complained. We were obviously mortified and embarrassed.

I had a word with my child and she now knows that she must not talk about these things with the other children, but I am now beginning to question whether I should be letting her watch it at all.

As I said, we haven't talked to her about how babies get in there and only give her the information she asks at any point. The question is do you think that a 5 year old is too young to be exposed to childbirth?

We are pretty easy going parents and whilst we respect that other people should let children know about these things in their own time (and will enforce that our daughter does not jump in there first!) we always feel that facts won't harm her. The problem is that I am now beginning to doubt my own philosophy.

Do I carry on letting her watch it or not?

Thanks

 

[LaaLaa]

That's your call as a parent. Frankly, I'm surprised the other parent complained; you can't govern what children say to each other!

Actually haven't watched the programme so I don't know how graphic it is but it sounds like she's just showing normal, healthy curiosity!

 

[Reedy]

IMO I think 5 is too young to be watching OBEM it scares the hell out of me sometimes x
I'm all for giving kids straight answers to their questions (within reason) but I think letting such a young girl watch child birth is a bit too much x

 

[Pixxie]

I think its fine, shes your child and if you think she can handle that information then let her watch. OBEM isnt particularly graphic, I think Ive only ever seen one actual crowing shot on it xx

 

[MrsBop]

IMO I think 5 is too young to be watching OBEM it scares the hell out of me sometimes x
I'm all for giving kids straight answers to their questions (within reason) but I think letting such a young girl watch child birth is a bit too much x

I agree with this but then again she is your child so ultimately it is your choice. My almost 6 year has only just learnt that babies come from 'down there' as he says, I asked him how he found out and he'd seen it on Friends he doesn't know they come out of the foo just down there tbh I think if one of his friends had told him and explained what they'd seen then I probably would've mentioned it to the teacher because I (my opinion) think 5 is too young for the ins and outs.

 

[lesleyann]

my childs not ol denough yet however at 5 i would have no problem with him watching OBEM if he could handle it iykwim? They all learn one day and atlest OBEM is more true that some of the rubbish that gets spouted out at school lol

Im suprised the othe rparent complained you cannot stop children saying things and why shoul dyou have to change how your parenting just because your child enjoys learning and sharing

 

[Ameliah]

personally, I agree with her watching it. For me, i'd prefer my children to grow up understanding childbirth and that it is a natural process. Its not like you've been giving her sex education or explaining how the babies get there in the first place (which I would say she is too young to know yet) My 3yr old watches it with us sometimes as we have a baby on the way and she thought i'd eaten her sister and I appreciate that she doesn't fully understand what is happening, she does understand that babies are born and that mummy will need to go to hospital to have this baby. Its not that graphic and theres not exactly blood and gore on display

 

[Kimboowee]

I would carry on letting her watch it too - As you said it's just couriosity and it's obviously not scaring her!

IMO I know kids age 5 that watch violent tv and play violent ps3 games etc - thats worse in my eyes than OBEM

 

[beckynbump25]

hiya, i know everyones got there opions but i think it's a very good way of showing your daughter where babies come from if she's not worried or disturbed by what she see's then i say carry on my little brother went a couple of years thinking babies come from yourr belly button.
i let my two year old watch the not soo dramatic episodes so she sorta understands what mommys going into hospital for and i tell you somethink she loves it and all the little babys lol xx

 

[Ameliah]

i let my two year old watch the not soo dramatic episodes so she sorta understands what mommys going into hospital for and i tell you somethink she loves it and all the little babys lol xx

Exactly, for me I see it as something educational and beneficial. They don't show the gory bits like all the blood or placenta delivery and even with the c-sections you don't see too much

 

[lulu35]

ive let my kids watch this series, they are 6,8, and 10 and i did this as im having another baby and i wanted them to understand what it was all about, they dont know how the baby got "there" and havent asked but as another poster said its not exceptionally graphic, they also havent been freked out by it or anything so im happy enough to let them watch it.

 

[Eternal]

i have heard of parents letting children of that age (and younger/older) be present during their births. so i suppose its the same thing. i dont think there is any reason why youd child shouldnt know about child birth.

 

[xSamanthax]

I don't see why your LO can't watch it, Ellie is 6 and she watches it with me sometimes, she doesn't know how babies get there but she likes watching it and seeing the babies being born

 

[tallybee]

I find it disturbing that a parent would complain about it tbh. The amount of complete nonsense that circulates in playgrounds... good on you for feeding your child's curiosity about the way things are x

 

[midori1999]

If she wants to watch it nd isn't scared by it, then I think it's actually a good idea. I think the other parents was an idiot to complain and I would have actually had issues with the teacher asking me to sensor what my child said as the child is simply telling the truth.

I have always preferred to be honest with my children, although sometimes it is hard to explain honestly in a realistic way. I remember my oldest son asking me how the baby got out of my tummy when I was pregnant with my second son. (first son was 4) I ended up saying 'well, you have a willy, right? and Mummy hasn't got one, she has something different? (nodding) well, that's where the baby comes out'. Obviously not all that explainatory, but enough for a 4 year old. It would have been much simpler to show him a programme on TV!

On the other hand, my friend doesn't want her daughter to know about vaginal births and has had c-sections herself. She has simply told her (now 8 year old) daughter that they cut the babies out of your tummy. Needles to say, that has terrified her daughter. I know it's technically true, but I think there are better ways of explaining that to a child.

 

[kiwimama]

Personally I have no problem with a child watching a baby being born. I would probably prefer that my kids watch natural, normal births with women that are calm and fear free, mostly because I want my kids (especially my daughter) to know that birth doesn't have to be horrible screamfest with the worst pain you could ever be in etc. My daughter may be at her brothers birth (playing it by ear atm.) I have read accounts of children who have been at calm births, mostly always homebirths, and they find it fascinating.

 

[Jody R]

I can remember being about five or six and my mum taking me to watch my friends dog give birth to puppies.

I think the idea of that was to answer my questions about why the puppies were in there in the first place and I think the answer I got is that all babies grow inside their mummy until it's time to come out.

So as long as your daughter isn't scared or upset by the programme I don't see why she shouldn't watch it as a way to learn the same thing.

But I do think that if the other parents don't have the same parenting style as you it's up to them to chose when and how they explain things to their daughter. We shouldn't assume they are just being prudish or whatever.

Perhaps their daughter was scared or upset by the information or maybe they are scared it will lead her to ask about how babies get there and they think it will take away her inocence or something to hear about sex at such a young age.

I'm not worried about explaining sex or babies to Joseph but I am very worried about explaining my losses to him. I haven't got a clue where to start, it's not something we understand or accept and we are adults. I don't want to scare him or confuse him or make him feel third best. My biggest fear is that some horrible kid at school will bully him about having dead siblings or that he will feel we only had him because we couldn't have Ally or Elisabeth. I don't want him to be scared of his brother or sister or feeling unwanted or like a consolation prize.

As my losses were second tri ones they were quite 'public' so to speak and I live in a community where everyone knows everyone elses business. So if some child at school decided to tell Joseph something in relation to them before I had or before he was ready or able to understand, I would be upset too.

I don't think you have done the wrong thing by your daughter and I don't think she did anything unusual in talking about what she has seen.

I think it's sad that she has to learn to keep this secret because IMO that is what teaches children to by shy or embarrassed about perfectly normal and natural things.

But I can see the point of the other parents, you decided your daughter was ready and able to watch and learn but they had that decision taken out of their hands with their daughter, and that's probably why they complained. But don't let them make you doubt your parenting style and choices.

 

[JellyBeann]

I don't see why the other parents were complaining either, kids need to know these things and if your child is interested in how birth happens, she should be told. I plan to be completely truthful with Ollie, when he asks, I will tell him (obviously not in gory detail, but the truth)

 

[Mummy2B21]

In my opinion i find that your daughter showing such an interest in this is actually really good, obviously everyone is different and will have different views but childbirth is a natural thing and babies are beautiful your daughter just seems to be intrigued/facinated as she is learning. I dont think its anything to be worried about and is completely your choice i find it very sweet she shows an interest in it children are smarter than we often think anyway if she is interested in learning i dont see why she shouldnt, although learning about how the babies get in there at that age would be a little too early in my opinion x

 

[MrsRabbit]

Seriously a parent complained? I could see if she was telling the kids about sex but most kids figure out babies don't come from eggs or storks or any other silly stories adults tell.

When DS was in school earlier this year they were talking about milk - creatures that make milk - DS piped up his momma makes milk for the baby.