Should I be this upset??? :(

[jem0104]

Feeling really low and dont really know how to pull myself out of it but I feel a bit silly!

I'm on cd18, I think I O on cd 16/17 (had o pains for 2days but missed a couple of opks)
we bd on cd 11,13,15,16(am) but thats it................

My OH HAS MAN FLU!!!!! (a bunged up nose....)
He's been moping around feeling sorry for himself for 3days now and as a result we havent dtd! He just gets in bed and goes straight off to sleep without a 2nd thought!!!

Today I feel so upset and think I'm out already....
He wont let me tell him when o is because of "performance issues" so I just feel like its all down to me, tracking days, initiating dtd....etc...

I know he wants us to get pregnant more than anything but just feel like he doesnt think or even realise how much is invovled.

Anyone having/had "thoughtless man issues" whilst ttc?

 

[Smiler82]

Uh oh! Not Man Flu!!! They are a nightmare aren't they

Hun I think if you dtd on all of those dates and you o'd day 16/17 I reckon you're covered and not necessarily out. Sperm can survive around 5 days in the right conditions, so you never know. My last pregnancy I thought there was no way we'd timed it right but I conceived 4 days after dtd.

But yeah it can feel like a lot of pressure on us - I got really annoyed as I was taking lots of supplements, taking my temp, checking cm, having reflexology/acupuncture and what was he doing....nothing! But to be fair he does take an interest in when O might be, I just had to cajole him into taking a multi vitamin and do some exercise so he is healthy. Can you at least tell him which week you need to be dtd? Or just have a chat when you're not in a fertile time to tell him how much attention you have to pay to it all and it'd be nice to be able to share the pressure? It's understandable for you to be getting upset about it, when it feels like the burden is all on you. Is he doing anything to make sure his sperm is healthy, e.g vitamins, exercise, not letting that area get too warm?

 

[jem0104]

Thank you!

To be fair to him he's been involved quite a bit, he's stopped cycling to work everyday and takes the vitamins I bought him religiously. I know I'm being a bit silly, just feel like its easy for them....

Last month he felt alot of pressure to perform on demand around O because I kept him informed and let him know when I'd got a +opk so we decided I wouldnt tell him and just be subtle. Being a man subtle hints dont work!!
I dropped hints this week and I think he knew but he has a terrible memory even for converstions from an hour ago!!!
I know its wishful thinking but I would just like for him to use his initiative now and then!!! MEN!
Oh well hopefully we havent missed out.... just dont feel very positive right now.

thank you x

 

[cdj1]

You poor thing I know exactly how you feel as my DH has a low/non existent sex drive and even though he has no performance issues about in order to conceive another baby, I basically have to orchestrate the WHOLE thing. So its me waking at 6.30am to take my temp, me POAS on OPKs and charting all that stuff and its me having to climb on top of him when I want some sperm. Its that clinical. Throughout the whole thing he won't kiss me, touch me, nothing. Its very demeaning. I hate it. This morning I cried after "we" DTD. Mainly because it was ME that was doing it.

Try not to worry, there are many people who got pregnant from DTD the same pattern as you xxx

 

[jem0104]

Oh no! Bless you!
They just dont seem to understand do they! Up until I recently corrected him he thought we could just any time and fall pregnant!!!

I think whats upsetting me the most is before ttc he always wanted sex....but now
A cold would've never stopped him, even though he tells me he desperately wants us to have a baby.
Maybe its something in a mans brain that wont let him get involved!

Dont know about you but jumping him when i need sperm is not exactly the biggest turn on......

Have you talked to him about his lack of involvement or interest?

 

[Smiler82]

Oh guys I'm really sorry to hear about all of this...cdj1 that's so sad you ended up in tears, I can see why. There must be some issue going on deep down but getting a man to open up isn't always easy is it :S

I can't really talk from similar experience, but DH used to run a health food shop so I wonder if you'd think about supplements? I know the name sounds ridiculous but you could see if he'd be willing to take horny goat weed? It increases sex drive. Also my DH used to weight-train a lot and he was taking something called creatine to build muscle. Side effect of this was a few erections a day!!! Is your husband into exercise etc? Perhaps he could take a supplement that has this side effect...if you like I can ask my DH what would be best to take.