should i feel guilty??

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by clogsy90, Dec 19, 2009.

  1. clogsy90

    clogsy90 mummy of 2 girls

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    well basically my sil has a 6 yr old son and has been trying since she ha him for another baby but is struggling due to PCOS anyway people have been sayin o i think kerry is jelous etc, but i don't see why i can't be happy because she is struggling, basically she won't help herself they have told her to lose weight but won't even try and expects it to be handed to her on a plate. well last night i was at hers and we were talking and she said had we thought of any names i said no to first names but the middle names were decided on, for a girl we have decided it will be whatever lillie ann johnson and she turns around and says well that screws me up cos if i ha a girl i was gonna call her lillie ann avis chapman. i kinda feel guilty but we have decided on these as middle names as lillie is my mums maiden name and and ann is OH nans name so y should i sacrifice names that mean something for her, where it might not happen and for her to have it as she likes the sound, does this sound harsh, i don't want to feel guilty but i do :(
     
  2. MiissMuffet

    MiissMuffet Well-Known Member

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    I would still keep them hun u really want them. It does sound like she is a wee bit jealous maybe so she may just be abit snappy because of that. I can understand y she would be a wee bit upset coz she's not getting pregnant, so the name thing probably isnt a huge deal to her- it was prob just something she could have a go at you for to try and make herself feel a bit better xxx
     
  3. stephx

    stephx Well-Known Member

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    I don't think you should feel guilty about it, just because she is having a hard time- Doesn't mean you can't be happy with your pregnancy!!

    And you definatly shouldn't change names just on the off chance she gets pregnant and has a girl :S lol. Just explain that those names have a emotional significance- surely she should understand?

    Good luck with it!

    xx
     
  4. TattiesMum

    TattiesMum Well-Known Member

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    First come, first served Clogsy :hugs:

    If you have a girl and want to call her the names you have chosen then go for it! If your SIL has a girl in the future then she'll just have to choose other names or switch them around :)

    It's not worth getting into an argument with her over it mind you - just avoid having name discussions with her again and cross the bridge once LO is here if it's a girl..... and don't feel guilty!!!

    It's not your fault that she has PCOS and you have no need to feel self concious about the fact that she isn't pregnant and you are :hugs: OK, she's a bit resentful and I can understand that, BUT she has no right to try to suck the joy out of your pregnancy for you or to dictate what you will or won't name your LO :hugs: :hugs:
     
  5. wispa86

    wispa86 2 Boys and a Bump

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    also she said that its her choice for first name so there is no reason why you both cant use them :)
     
  6. fantastica

    fantastica Mum.

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    yeah don't see any reason why she couldn't still use that name, as they wouldn't have the same first names anyway!

    it must be hard for her wanting to be pregnant and finding it hard, but at the end of the day you shouldn't sacrifice the enjoyment of your pregnancy and she's just going to have to accept it!
     
  7. sara420

    sara420 Guest

    the short answer is no, it's not your problem...

    but then again you could always just give her this one... not because you feel pressured or obligated, but because it would be a nice, selfless thing to do and i guess it would probably mean a lot to her...
    i dont know you and i'm not trying to tell you what you should or shouldnt do... its just a thought
     
  8. my sister 'stole' my names, but theres no point being resentful over it. My dad died when i was 3 so obv if i had a boy i would want to call him david. But my sister called her first son david and after that i wanted luke but she named her 3rd son luke. But there are plenty more names out there for her too choose from and alot of people dont actually use middle names now so most people wouldent even realise if they had the same one :)
     
  9. annawrigley

    annawrigley Guest

    i dont think it should be a problem :) go for it , like fantastica said they wouldnt have the same first name anyway :shrug: xx
     
  10. trumpetbum

    trumpetbum 2 girls..boy on the way.

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    I'm sorry but unless (maybe) she has previously discussed names and has a VERY strong reason why she wants the name, she can't 'reserve' names for future hypothetical children. Be polite, but firm. You are having a baby and you have the same right as anyone else to enjoy choosing your baby's name. Not to mention the fact that we are talking about a middle name. This sounds very petty on her part.
     
  11. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    You shouldn't feel guilty at all, You have a right to give your LO the name you want, and like someone said they won't have the same first name .
     
  12. 05wilkesm

    05wilkesm Guest

    i doubt that was the name she had in mind, she probably is jealous and is trying to ruin it for you, fair enough its horrible that she cant get pregnant again but its not nice her trying to ruin it for you!
    :hug:
    xx
     

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