Should I join the RAF?

[greenkat]

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post but I would really appreciate some advice.

I got my degree (in media and communications) and have been a sahm ever since as I had my daughter in the final year of study. I had my son who is now 19 months and have been looking for a job for a while now without success.

I feel really stuck for what to do because I really want to give them a good start in life but we're struggling financially as a family. I'm struggling myself too because although I really want to be there for the kids and see them grow up I really want a challenge and to experience the world... which got me thinking - I looked up all the military options and the RAF website is really appealing to me.

There are so many pros.. but so many cons I can't decide what to do! My OH is completely supportive and said he would love to look after the kids and travel round the world with me if that's what I want. What I'm looking at is mainly office based work - but there is always the potential I could get hurt or be killed because there is always that side to the military too - so I don't know what would be best? I'd still have to get through the application process too.

Are there any military mums out there with advice? Or anyone with OH's in the forces who can help me see things more clearly? I know it's not what everyone would choose and it would be really challenging - especially at first but I think it would be a good career.

 

[glitterfly]

Hello Hun,

I was with a partner in the RAF (With whom i have split with) and I can honestly say it was hard. With the job that he had he was constantly on the move, especially with the current military downsizing, job uncertainty was also an aspect that was always at the forefront of our minds. Whilst i was with him, id have made it work, but even with just the two of us the commitments were high and time spent with him was minimal. the time we did spend together was tainted as we knew he could be called anytime. (the job he did he was practically on call 24/7 -going all over the world at the bell of a phone.) Since ending the relationship with him and finishing university (in 2010) i also considered joining the RAF in an administration based roll. I have to admit the benefits are amazing and having been on a university air squadron (RAF Reserve) through out university, i have to say the opportunities and the experience i gained were second to non. The training i received were first class and I will not speak a bad word about it. the people, training, experience and social aspect of the best. That said, despite applying and going to OASC for the admin role, I declined (after a lot of consideration) because of the life and commitment i knew i'd be entering. Despite having a fantastic pay and benefit package, i couldn't sacrifice family life. This was based on the experience i had with my previous partner, and the commitment i'd poured into my time with the RAF.

Different roles would probably have different effects, but even the time away for Initial (Officer) training is a big commitment in itself. Let alone being posted to virtually any base in the country / Cyprus / Falklands / Diego Garcia / Scotland etc, which are huge life changing experiences. You have to consider that whilst you are working with like-minded individuals, your OH will have to adjust to new faces, place, attitudes and cultures. I might be clutching at invisible straws but i am sure i read that a tour in Afghanistan is mandatory. Throughout that time where would your LO and OH stay. (these were my main concerns after the house was rented out.). Generally the tours are for around 6 months, yes you would have a good wage, but would it be enough to cover the potential continuous movements around the country? (The RAF did provide financial support for this and tax relieving benefits.)

Despite the above please be ensured that I love the idea of the RAF. I love what it stands for and would never have a bad word to say about it. I just feel that personally, the commitment & life style is just too much for me to sacrifice my home and family life.

I do however wish you all the best in which ever decision you decide. If you need any help with OASC or selection, please do not hesitate to pm me. I am MORE then happy to help you.

x

 

[greenkat]

Thank you so much for replying - you've given me more to think about. If I didn't have children I would apply straight after Christmas but it is that lack of family time that I think might tip the balance. Especially with having 6 months away.

I'm lucky because my OH's father was in the army so he knows how life would be but is still really supportive. Trouble is he's also just started on meds for depression (2 months ago) - mostly because we aren't doing well financially and are arguing because of it. He also works every hour under the sun and doesn't get to see the kids which upsets him - so in some senses we could really do with a big life change. In a way it would be like a role reversal between the two of us - but I don't know if I could cope not seeing the kids either?

I've started to up my exercise routine in preparation - which can't hurt even if it doesn't work out, lol.

 

[glitterfly]

Thank you so much for replying - you've given me more to think about. If I didn't have children I would apply straight after Christmas but it is that lack of family time that I think might tip the balance. Especially with having 6 months away.

I'm lucky because my OH's father was in the army so he knows how life would be but is still really supportive. Trouble is he's also just started on meds for depression (2 months ago) - mostly because we aren't doing well financially and are arguing because of it. He also works every hour under the sun and doesn't get to see the kids which upsets him - so in some senses we could really do with a big life change. In a way it would be like a role reversal between the two of us - but I don't know if I could cope not seeing the kids either?

I've started to up my exercise routine in preparation - which can't hurt even if it doesn't work out, lol.

Hello again,

I'm sorry to hear your hubbys on meds. I think you could be right though, meeting new people, going to new places could be perfect. Plus I'm sure that most RAF bases have creche's for children, so your LO would have the perfect opportunity to make new friends etc.

It sounds like you know exactly what youre talking about, and that you've done a fair amount of research in to the RAF, and the role you're applying too. The application process can often take a few months, and of course theres no obligation to join. Have you been to your local AFCO (Armed forces Careers office? ) https://www.raf.mod.uk/careers/applicationzone/visitacareersoffice.cfm

The people and advice you get from there are fantastic, and they could give you so much more information on things like childcare, medical support etc etc. Also, they give you practice assessment days and interviews for the application. Do you know roughly what areas you should be looking at for your interview prep? Im excited for you. If you do decide to go ahead its a completely new and exciting life.

Anyway, I shall stop going off on a tangent and stealing your thread. If i don't get to speak to you before hand, Merry Christmas to you and your family.

xxxx

 

[greenkat]

Thanks for the link - I'm going to go to my local or call in the new year so I can make the decision. Really nervous about it in a way - my confidence in the working world is pretty low after being a sahm for two years but I know I could do it. I'm looking at applying for the personnel officer job from what I've seen online - I've got a media degree and it interests me all round but will see what they think.

I hope you had a good Christmas and have a Happy New Year

 

[Avalanche]

Have you thought about joining your local TA unit to see if you'd enjoy it? It would get you an insight into the forces on a part time basis and at the moment deployments are voluntary. I'm in the TA (although on extended leave as I'm in the USA at the minute as hubby has been posted here with the RAF) and would thoroughly recommend it to someone who isn't quite sure if going full time military is for them.

 

[Pearls18]

Avalanche- I keep meaning to ask you how you've ended up in Las Vegas, jammy posting or what! I suspected you were British (knew you were military) but wasn't sure, how fun that must be.

PP- I think it is wonderful how supportive your OH is, that will be the most important thing to succeed if you do proceed. I can't say I have much in way of knowledge of RAF clerical roles, but I really wouldn't even have a second thought about the danger aspects though, as a woman in a clerical role I would imagine there would be many more dangerous jobs you could do on civilian street. Once you have trained and passed out your home life could potentially be quite normal a lot of the time, IF you're married your OH can be based with you (I say if because marriage is usually a necessity for marital quarters but I do wonder if because you are a woman with children they would be more flexible than if you were a man??) so you could see each other everyday apart from deployments and exercises. DH has missed a lot of DS's life so far, but it is a very different situation for us in a very different role, I can imagine it would be different for you. I would contact your local AFCO and ask for advice. Military life is very different to civilian life, when you are part of the military you are expected to put them above all else, you won't have the same parental rights in the work place as you would in a civilian job- but if your OH is willing to be the primary parent I don't see that being an issue.

 

[pinky1987]

hi hun,

I could probably give you a different insight from a child growing up with a parent in the the RAF.

My dad was in in the RAF since the age of 17yrs old, all my life was spent in the RAF untill the age of 15. (When my parents split).

There was loads of great things i had from being involved with the RAF, i got to move to different places, We lived in germany for 5 years (RAF Laarbruch) the base has now closed and is now an airport i think?!?! I loved it in germany. I had an amazing upbringing with meeting new people and seeing different things and we never went without anything.

The downside though is we did have to move all the time, i would make new friends then as i was getting good friendships i would then have to leave them behind,the school that i had settled into and then make new friends and start a new school, It was horrible,if you want my honest opinion. My brother is 3yrs older than me and he decided he wanted to go to boarding school as he hated moving all the time and going to different schools.
My dad was always being sent away, the shortest period being usually about 3weeks and the longest being 8 months with R&R in between, i missed him so much and my mum had it hard bringing me and my brother up on her own the majority of time.

Now being 25yrs old with 2 children of my own, i, personally wouldnt do it. I have thought about it then decided not to, I have always said that i would never be with someone who is in the forces.

My dad now though has retired on a great pension and is now travelling the world with my step-mum and is loving it!

There is pro's and con's of being in the forces as you have said. Please dont think im being horrible or anything like that, this is just my thoughts about it and opinion.

xx