Sick children around our preemie

[Casper72]

I've been struggling with what to do about this, so I figured I come here for some support/suggestions. My husband has two children from a previous marriage that he sees every other weekend. Since we've been home with our preemie, the kids have been over to visit twice. On their first visit, his son wasn't feeling well. He vomited then complained of his tummy aching for the rest of the weekend. I wanted him to go home, hubby fought me on it saying how he rarely gets to see his kids. Second time they came over, his daughter had been to the doctor for a cold and possible ear infection. Doctor said it was just a common cold. I didn't want her over near the baby and again my husband fought me on it so she ended up coming over. I was a nervous wreck all weekend trying to keep her away from the baby.

My husband and I got the exact same lectures from the doctors and nurses in the hospital about how important it is to keep sick people away from our preemie. He had conversations from the hospital with his kids forewarning them that if they get sick they wouldn't be able to come visit dad that time. Then we finally get to bring baby home and it's like he forgot everything they told us about keeping our son healthy.

I am so beyond frustrated/angry/upset with him I could scream. Yes, our son is thriving now. Yes, he's healthy, gaining weight and doing all the things he's supposed to BUT he's STILL A PREEMIE and we need to treat him as one. We were out of town when he was born and spent 5.5 weeks away from home in the NICU with our son and I don't want to end up back in the hospital with him b/c his children came over and got him sick.

When I voice my opinion my husband makes me feel bad saying fine he will never see his kids, or should I make them stay outside like dogs, etc. It's awful but I want to protect our baby. What should I do?

 

[25weeker]

That is a tough one. If it wasn't his kids then I would be saying keep them away but if he only sees them every other weekend it would be hard for him to miss one of the weekends as it means he only sees them once that month. There is plenty of prem mums who have older children and there isn't a lot they can do when their other kids are ill except hope for the best. If they aren't feeling well perhaps limit the contact they have with the baby making sure they wash hands etc.

Fingers crossed with spring coming the illnesses will be few.

Xx

 

[Stelly]

Oof I'm sorry Hun! That would stress me out as well. Maybe if they have colds etc dad could take them elsewhere? Fun mini trip (that is if you don't mind being left behind with baby) or I would just make a room designated for baby when they are sick and make it an absolute no access area. Can your husband maybe trade days (another weekend or some weekdays)if the kids are sick so they can come over when they are feeling better?

Whilst they are his kids, it's dangerous for your little guy if he's around sick children. Best of luck!

 

[socitycourty]

Your baby won't need to be protected from germs forever, I think at this time your husband should be able to understand the danger and keep his kids away if they are sick, my cousin had a preemie and absolutely grileld everyone about their health/recent illnesses and everyone was understanding of it.

can he not visit them somewhere else? that would avoid most of the germ issue as they wouldn't be in your house.

 

[Casper72]

I had a really good talk with him and explained how much it scared me to have the kids around when they are sick. I told him that if I didn't put my foot down, and something happened to our little Jaxen I would never forgive myself. He finally understood after reading up online the dangers of the common cold and RSV in preemies then agreed that if the kids get sick in the future, they won't be able to come over. I know it's hard for him, but it is only temporary and it's only IF the kids get sick again. I am so relieved. I was a nervous wreck when his daughter was over coughing with a runny nose. I tried to keep Jaxen in our bedroom most of the time, but still got freaked out over germs that could be lingering around the house.