Silly things people say. What's your experience?

[Nathyrra]

Hey girls, hope you all had a nice christmas

Just wondering what are the silliest things fertile people have told you?

Sometimes I just don't think people have any tact at all in what they say! I always over analyse what I'm going to say before I say it about a sensitive subject so I don't hurt people. So I guess I just find it a shock sometimes!

Well, my example is on Christmas day. My brother phoned to wish me well. Say's :

'Oh I hear you're having trouble getting pregnant? Well you shouldn't bother, my kids are a nightmare. It's not worth it.'



Now my brother means well but gosh! I didn't get too upset about it, just laughed it off as I know he doesn't mean to hurt me but it still boggles the mind! It's like a sickness for me personally, in my head.. It incapacitates me, I just don't understand how other people can pass off these things so bluntly. Not one person but my husband and doctors has taken my infertility seriously. Husband's sister even laughed..

So any of you girls got any stories about other people's tact? Would love to hear!

x

 

[HAYS]

Oh hun thats awful, not really what u want to hear!!! Why would your husbands sister laugh too??some people really dont think before they speak.

Im trying to think back to what people have said, all i can think of now is the typical 'ah thats a shame, my husband only had to look at me and i fell pregnant'!!

HA BLOODY HA !!!

 

[Nathyrra]

People are hillarious aren't they? lol

I actually think this is a universal tactless thing with people's reactions.

Like:

If you tell someone you've insomnia and reply is: 'Oh I sleep like a log as soon as my head hits the pillow!'

If someone has small boobs the reply is usually: 'Oh mine are HUGE, I could give you some of mine'

If you can't get pregnant reply is 'Oh I just have to look at my husband and I'm pregnant!'

I don't know if it's a human condition to say the most unhelpful things, that make themselves look better than you!

Yeah, me and husband don't like his sister, she's a bitch. We were kinda silly to believe she would actually be concerned. all we get was a 'ha ha, I can't imagine you having kids anyway' charming x

 

[moomoo]

Hi, sorry if you think im imposing as ive only been ttc since my m/c in oct..but i was in the chatroom the other day and was telling them how i was really struggling with not being pregnant...then 2 newly pregnant people then go on to say how "they werent really trying" and it happened!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! xx

 

[pink_glitter]

My nurse said to me, gosh i know how you feel i didnt get pregnant till 3 months and i was so upset and wondered what was up with me so i know how you feel!!!! i just smiled and thought 3 months compared to 2 years how the F**k do you know how i feel!!!

My SIL said the same took her 6 months and she said i know just how upset you are....errrrr no you have NO idea !!

Some people just need to think for a few mins before they speak!

 

[rachelle1975]

a lovely girl at work who's husband just has to wink at her to get her pregnant said 'be thankful you aren't heavily pregnant during summer, it would be awful'. When we found out we needed IVF she said 'at least you can control when you fall pregnant now'.

hello?? give me sweaty swollen boobs, varicose veins, exhuastion, thrush and a bad back anyday (providing it comes with a baby of course)

 

[HAYS]

People are hillarious aren't they? lol

I actually think this is a universal tactless thing with people's reactions.

Like:

If you tell someone you've insomnia and reply is: 'Oh I sleep like a log as soon as my head hits the pillow!'

If someone has small boobs the reply is usually: 'Oh mine are HUGE, I could give you some of mine'

If you can't get pregnant reply is 'Oh I just have to look at my husband and I'm pregnant!'

I don't know if it's a human condition to say the most unhelpful things, that make themselves look better than you!

Yeah, me and husband don't like his sister, she's a bitch. We were kinda silly to believe she would actually be concerned. all we get was a 'ha ha, I can't imagine you having kids anyway' charming x

OMG what a bitch!!!!!!!!

 

[HAYS]

a lovely girl at work who's husband just has to wink at her to get her pregnant said 'be thankful you aren't heavily pregnant during summer, it would be awful'. When we found out we needed IVF she said 'at least you can control when you fall pregnant now'.

hello?? give me sweaty swollen boobs, varicose veins, exhuastion, thrush and a bad back anyday (providing it comes with a baby of course)

defo hun!!!

 

[hayz1981]

a lovely girl at work who's husband just has to wink at her to get her pregnant said 'be thankful you aren't heavily pregnant during summer, it would be awful'. When we found out we needed IVF she said 'at least you can control when you fall pregnant now'.

hello?? give me sweaty swollen boobs, varicose veins, exhuastion, thrush and a bad back anyday (providing it comes with a baby of course)

What is wrong with people?? Do they really think that's a silver lining?? I can honestly say I would be so so grateful to be heavily pregnant in the summer. Next people will be saying that at least we can drink over xmas and new year!!
Oh yes, we are just so grateful to be cool in the summer and drunk in the winter....aren't we the lucky ones!!

 

[Sambatiki]

Just wondering??? Do non-pregnant people not get hot in the summer then???

 

[Kitty23]

ugh I hate insensitive arses!

My 3 sisters who all fell pregnant on the pill were like " kids are horrible! You can have one of mine!" Gee helpful comment alert lol

Or the in laws who keep friggin asking if we are pregnant yet infront of extended family who dont know we are ttc, whilst my two vile pregnant sisters in law smirk at me!

Or my mother saying " perhaps its not meant to happen then" lovely lol I shall just collect cats then shall I?

Now when people ask when we are going to have children I just say never and laugh it off which breaks my heart but its better than there bloody crappy tips and hints lol! And no offence to anybody in particular lol but sometimes on the TTC board I have to scream! I know my 18months of ttc isnt the longest in the world but it does my nut in when some girls are moaning about not getting pregnant within the first 2 weeks lol ! xxx

 

[hayz1981]

Just wondering??? Do non-pregnant people not get hot in the summer then???

no, they have special inbuilt air conditioning which becomes obsolete as soon as it detects a

 

[Trying4ever]

Ohmigod tabby thats sooo true....my sisters are abit more sensitive thank god and dont say anything in front of me and they know how much I love kids and vice versa as I'm always babysitting theirs.....but the girls from the in-laws side.....so dim.....they are always saying....don't have kids, they're a nightmare, you're better off without them....yeah then why did you have them bicth?!

So I have decided not to tell anyone my sob story that I am having trouble conceiving cos I figure they won't give a shit and will say stupid things anyway, so I pretend also that I don't have time for kids....I just say, 'i'll borrow yours for the day and then you can have them back when they have done a poo or sick or cry all night' ...but who am I trying to kid hey?..i wouldn't mind all that if it was my own...

 

[Sambatiki]

Just wondering??? Do non-pregnant people not get hot in the summer then???

no, they have special inbuilt air conditioning which becomes obsolete as soon as it detects a

I will have to add disappearing internal air conditioning to my list of signs and symptoms!

 

[SianMA]

The one that really gets to me is after having a miscarriage people (and even doctors)seem to think that it will make you feel better if they say 'at least you know you can get pregnant'!

I think that people who haven't had any difficulty just assume that if you get pregnant you stay pregnant and end up with a baby every time! if only that were true....

 

[Millnsy]

ugh I hate insensitive arses!

My 3 sisters who all fell pregnant on the pill were like " kids are horrible! You can have one of mine!" Gee helpful comment alert lol

Or the in laws who keep friggin asking if we are pregnant yet infront of extended family who dont know we are ttc, whilst my two vile pregnant sisters in law smirk at me!

Oh my God Tabby, how many borthers and sisters do you have?!

I have 2 smug pregnant sister in laws so no exactly how you feel!

I keep getting people telling me what an amazing mother I would be and how much I deserve to get pregnant. I find that really unhelpful cos it doesn't matter how much we deserve it, it still isn't going to happen in a hurry!

 

[Redfraggle]

a lovely girl at work who's husband just has to wink at her to get her pregnant said 'be thankful you aren't heavily pregnant during summer, it would be awful'. When we found out we needed IVF she said 'at least you can control when you fall pregnant now'.

hello?? give me sweaty swollen boobs, varicose veins, exhuastion, thrush and a bad back anyday (providing it comes with a baby of course)

What is wrong with people?? Do they really think that's a silver lining?? I can honestly say I would be so so grateful to be heavily pregnant in the summer. Next people will be saying that at least we can drink over xmas and new year!!
Oh yes, we are just so grateful to be cool in the summer and drunk in the winter....aren't we the lucky ones!!

I was actually told by someone when discussing yet another year going by without getting pregnant, with someone who is pregnant "its alright for you at least you can have a drink over Christmas. Really sucks having to stay sober at all the parties"

And in a different conversation with a friend I haven't spoken to in months "You should think youself lucky. My mate Johnnys kid is due Christmas day". WTF!! Over three years of trying and heartbreak is really better than a Christmas Day baby?!?!? Needless to say it will be many months again before we talk!

 

[FJL]

This is why I hardly socialise anymore!!!! Stupid people and their comments PISS ME OFF.

Some of the ones i've had (which I no longer hold back on...they give as good as they get)

1. Maybe its not meant to be...everything happens for a reason
2. Why don't you just adopt? Oh yeah...like thats easier?! Anyone who suggests this knows fuck all about adoption.
3. All my husband has to do is look at me and i'm pregnant
4. If you stop trying IVF, you'll get pregnant naturally. The last time someone said this to me, my reply was "oh wow...why am I paying me FS when I could've just tried this all along? Wow...you must be some sort of miracle Dr then! Geez, I never knew that if I stop treatment that this will miraculously increase my DH's sperm count, make them swim faster, transform them from deformed to normal and magically reverse the DNA damage...thankyou SO much" certainly shut them up.
5. MIL said to DH that she didn't believe that there was something wrong with his sperm...the Dr's must've got it wrong and it must be ME... WTF??? And since then is this a blame game???

Then there are the things that people say infront of you when they know how hard and long we've been trying:

1. SIL - I would be SHATTERED if we got pregnant again
2. I found out i'm having ANOTHER boy...i'm gutted...I already have 2 boys
3. I don't see why you had to give up smoking to try for a baby...I smoked through all of my pregnancies and when I found out I was having twins I smoked double so they wouldn't weigh as much

There are LOADS more but I can't even think...I blocked out all of that shit a long time ago!

 

[miel]

for me it's the ..."when you will not think about it then you will get pregnant ...!"

peoples are just plenty stupid and most of all completely ignorant regarding infertility...

at least my GYN that i love told me right away ...it's not because you are stress that you are not pregnant ...stress does not stop the spermies to go see the eggs etc...stress just make the journey harder ...

so please people stop telling me that i need to relax to get a BFP!!!

 

[lollylou1]

i hope u dont mind me intruding but it took me 2 years to concieve and the most annoying comments i used to get were -

- if u stop thinking about it it will just happen
- it will happen when natural allows it to
- make the most of having no kids you life is ruined when you have them
- dont stress about it

i have a baby now but i can clearly remember everything about how hard trying was and the emotional rollercoaster that it is, i do wish you all the luck in the world and i mean that in the least patronising way

Lou
xxx