Single forever?

[WhiteGeisha]

Hi ladies

I am due in October and so far it looks as though I will be a single mum.

I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after me and FOB split up and really thought we would be able to give it another go as we didn't split up on majorly bad terms - he is just very immature and influenced by his mates too easily for us to have worked. There is a 4 yr age gap, not massive I know but when he had just turned 20 and i'm 24 on a maturity level he is nowhere near me.

He didn't want me to continue with the pregnancy but I decided I would have the whether he wanted to be involved or not. So far he has chosen...NOT!

He is in the Army and lives abroad and went back to Germany 3weeks ago after 6 months back in the UK.

I told him bubs would not be having his name and do you know what the piece of sh....said "You never know what might happen with us down the line so if you give LO my surname then if we do get back together we can all have the same surname".....err is he for real?! What would change so much down the line that hasn't already?! Oh yeh - you might grow up?? Well that would be years down the line mate! Don't think I am going to waiting around for you for that long. I swear he thinks I'm stupid.

Anyway, how many of you are still single (pregnant or had LO)? How many of you met a guy (pregnant or after birth).

Did any of you meet a guy when you were pregnant and they stayed?

I'm not on a man hunt lol, just curious. I meet cute guys everyday and think "why would a guy ever want to date a girl pregnant by someone else"....

Thanks ladies x

 

[mamashakesit]

I always think the same thing...I also have always thought it's kind of gross to be sleeping with someone else when you are pregnant with a child that's not their own.

However...one of the owners of my company told me (gave me orders, lol) that I am not to mope around and that there is no harm in meeting some new guys if I am honest about the circumstances. So I actually put a profile up on a dating site, with the my intentions of NOT DATING made very, very clear. I just said I enjoy the company of the opposite sex and that I would love to get out of the house together and experience and explore this beautiful state of Oregon.

Right now I'm talking to not one but two sweethearts in their mid-50's, lol, 20 some years my senior. Both are motorcycle riders and we are meeting up so they can take me on rides soon. I'm also talking a cute guy my own age who said he can be a good friend and we are going hiking sometime. No romance, when I meet them I will tell them the circumstances and they can decide if it freaks them out or not. Either way, I've been honest about not wanting anything other than friendship and you know what? It HAS been fun already. It's taken my mind off what a piece of s**t FOB has been and my stress has lowered considerably.

BTW...my ex told me the same thing about the last name. The first re-try I thought it might work but after that? C'mon dude.

 

[scottishgal89]

i always had the same attitude as you. im still single but im only 21- plenty time for that yet!
as for your ex- your better off without him by the sounds of it and him saying lo should have his surname made me laugh. men eh?! thats ridiculous.
hope your alright. we're all here to talk or rant to whenever you need to xx

 

[bloodbinds]

I met a guy when i was pregnant... sort of! I've known him for 5 years and he admitted to me after i broke up with FOB that he really liked me, but i told him because of being pregnant i just wanted to think about my baby and being a good mother, no time for men! He has since got a girlfriend though. I also went out on one date a couple of months ago, and the guy was lovely but i decided i still wasn't ready for men and just want to be a mummy and that's it for now! So it is possible! x

 

[lilmama]

I met a guy while i was pregnant and we started going out when i was about 3 months. we broke up at 6 months as he needed to "get his life together" in which he did, were still friends btw .

but while i was going out with him and after we broke up, i had a few guys that actually wanted to take me out on a date. this guy even asked for my number at 9 months pregnant. some guys don't want to talk to someone pregnant by someone else, but their are some guys who really dont mind.

you wont be single forever

my moms been a single mom of 3 kids. and has a bf they been together 5 yrs now. theres hope!

the guy that got my number when i was 9 months, actually wants to start dating me.. but I really don't want to be in a relationship, I don't have time and don't feel like giving anyone else my attention

my friend told me he actually thought the "pregnant walk" was sexy. made me feel better at the time cause i felt like a big whale but some might find it strange.

anyways some guys like preggos!

 

[WhiteGeisha]

Well I enjoy male company as friends and was spending time with a guy i've known a few yrs as a mate. It actually gave me hope that not all men just want one thing and thought he was a good mate.

I did start getting a bit worried when he kept trying to be "too much" to me eg. offering to decorate, come baby shopping, 12week scan... We went to lunch one day and he was trying to act too much like my fella and when we left he even put his hand on my back as tho to say "she's with me" which made me worry.

We arranged to go to lunch with my mate (female) for a catch up as we hadn't seen much of each other together but I invited a colleague from work (male) who was new to the area and didn't know anyone. I text my mate saying a "friend" would be joining us and left it at that.

When we got to the pub my female mate told me this male guy wasn't coming anymore. She had told him the friend I had invited was male!! He never contacted me again and we haven't spoken since that day.

Looking back, I think he wanted more than just friends and got jealous when I invited another guy out with us.

So I know it's still possible to pull LOL but he was not my type and I never have looked at him that way. Shame our friendship had to suffer because of it.

Ah well..I can look even if I can't touch!

Plus I spend more time in bed or with my head down the loo to have time to date! x

 

[Laura2919]

My friend met a man whilst pregnant and they are super happy now! But firstly you should be comfortable being on your own. If you keep trying to find him, he will never find you!!!

I thought I wasnt good at being single but I am! I can do this I know I can. I have for the past 10 weeks and they were the hardest weeks of my life, slowly they have gotten easier.

You need to forget about him! Cheeky Git.. who does he think he is, you never know! Errrr whatever mate lol..

Good luck

 

[laylasmommy]

I just went through my break up and I know that God has someone better for me and my child. I don't expect a relationship any time soon, I have other priorities but I'm ready when that time comes.

plus I like the fact that eventually my baby girl will look at my future man and call him daddy instead of the real baby daddy.

 

[tinkabells]

Sorry i havent read all the other posts but, i met someone when i was 7 months preg never did anything with him, went on a few dates after hollie was born, kept intouch, but his more a mate that anything else, and i've met a few other people since, but to be fair, im not really ready for a relationship, i dont go looking for there so to speak, but if it happens it happens ya no xxx

 

[aurora]

This is my first but I'm so ok with being a single mother, that my OH has had to really try to please me to get me to stay. I am a firm believer that one happy parent is better than 2 that don't get along!
Definitely give your LO your last name. Tell your ex thats a lovely thought, but the name can also be changed should there ever be a marriage.
As of now OH and I are making things work, but I still plan to give baby my name. One day if it seems more permanent, LO's name can be changed along with mine.
My mom gave my brother and sister their Dads name. He totally sucked once they split and she never regretted giving them his name. (Funnything is, she still uses my Dads married name, and they split in 1978 when I was 18 months. She would have given them my Dads name...even funnier, everyone would have been cool with it )