Single Ladies - Sperm Donor and Home Insemination?

[wonders10]

Hi Ladies,

I really hope that I'm in the right forum and if I'm not, I'm very sorry and didn't mean to intrude

My fiancé and I broke up a couple months ago. Long story short, he got cold feet and also does not think he wants children. I am 34 and do want a child. We accidentally got pregnant in January, but I had a miscarriage. We have not been TTC since. I do not know if I have trouble carrying a pregnancy or if the miscarriage I had was just a fluke. I've sort of been tracking my cycles and I'm suspecting I have low progesterone, but I will discuss all that with my dr.

Anyway, I've always said that if I hit a certain point in my life, I would get a sperm donor and have a child by myself. I think because my dad was never a part of my life, I don't think twice about being a single mom. I know its hard, but that not why I am here today...

My question is, I don't have the finances for IVF and IUIs and I'm also not even sure if I need that invasive of a procedure. I think I'd rather just start with sperm and do a home insemination. But I don't know where you find that stuff. I do not have any male friends that would be able to donate. I have googled things in my area, but most seem to be for IVF clinics and things which again, I can't really afford and may not really need.

I'm just looking for advice on how to start this journey...

Thank you!

 

[2moms2be]

Hi Ladies,

I really hope that I'm in the right forum and if I'm not, I'm very sorry and didn't mean to intrude

My fiancé and I broke up a couple months ago. Long story short, he got cold feet and also does not think he wants children. I am 34 and do want a child. We accidentally got pregnant in January, but I had a miscarriage. We have not been TTC since. I do not know if I have trouble carrying a pregnancy or if the miscarriage I had was just a fluke. I've sort of been tracking my cycles and I'm suspecting I have low progesterone, but I will discuss all that with my dr.

Anyway, I've always said that if I hit a certain point in my life, I would get a sperm donor and have a child by myself. I think because my dad was never a part of my life, I don't think twice about being a single mom. I know its hard, but that not why I am here today...

My question is, I don't have the finances for IVF and IUIs and I'm also not even sure if I need that invasive of a procedure. I think I'd rather just start with sperm and do a home insemination. But I don't know where you find that stuff. I do not have any male friends that would be able to donate. I have googled things in my area, but most seem to be for IVF clinics and things which again, I can't really afford and may not really need.

I'm just looking for advice on how to start this journey...

Thank you!

Hi! My wife and I have been TTC with a known donor for over a year. We took a break, and are starting again next cycle.

Knowndonorregistry.com is a good place to start looking, if you don't have anyone in your life that you can ask. We tried it briefly but then got lucky with an acquaintance.

Many banks will also ship sperm for you to do an at-home insemination. Obviously, that's more expensive, but it's less than IVF or IUI.

I wish you the best of luck - it's a rollercoaster!

 

[wonders10]

Thank you so much for replying and offering some input!

Good luck to you!

 

[ace28]

I second known donor registry. It's how we found our donor for our first baby, and used him again for the TWW we are now in for our second! You will have to sort through a lot of creepers but there are genuine good people on that site, with varying levels of wanting to be involved/not wanting to be involved and so on.

There are also sperm banks out there, where donors are completely anonymous. They are spendy ($700 for two vials of sperm/two insems) and the sperm doesn't last as long as fresh (ie, less of a time window for sperm to meet egg!). But, they are anonymous and sometimes can be more convenient than having to meet up with someone. Also, depending on where you live, there may not be anyone near by on known donor registry (though there are donors that ship sperm!)

If you do go through known donor reg, make sure you ask for current std tests, ask about genetic history in the family, etc. experienced donors will know all of this already.

 

[wonders10]

Thank you for your reply!

I've registered on the site! It seems there are many donors near me which is good, finding the right match is the key. I'm not quite ready yet...I'd like to lose a little weight, save some money, visit the dr and discuss being pregnant again, etc. but once I find the right donor, how long did it take before you received your first "sample"? What was the cost if yiu don't mind me asking? And what other big things should I do, lawyer, do I pay for dr for donor, etc?

 

[ace28]

We started talking with our donor about a month and a half before we wanted to start TTC. It was mostly emails at first, and then we met him and signed a donor contract that basically stated that he knew that the wouldn't be the father of the baby and that we wouldn't sue him for child support. We had them notarized.

Later on, after the baby was born (actually, shortly before but the process wasn't completed until afterwards) we did hire a lawyer because my wife had to legally adopt our child.

As for costs, it cost is nothing because our donor already had current STD and genetic screenings on file. Other donors may not and since you will want those, you pay for those tests. Other costs are the costs of meeting at a hotel or elsewhere to obtain samples (your mileage may vary on this) or costs to ship sperm if you go with that method (though I highly encourage fresh! Much more potent stuff ).

The actual spermies should be free; everyone on that site is a philanthropist doing it because they want to help.

 

[Sam 121]

Thank you for your reply!

I've registered on the site! It seems there are many donors near me which is good, finding the right match is the key. I'm not quite ready yet...I'd like to lose a little weight, save some money, visit the dr and discuss being pregnant again, etc. but once I find the right donor, how long did it take before you received your first "sample"? What was the cost if yiu don't mind me asking? And what other big things should I do, lawyer, do I pay for dr for donor, etc?

Hello, I know this was posted a while ago but was just wondering if you went ahead with the donor ? I'm 34, single and considering this option myself.