Single mum and 4 weeks pregnant! (Also posted in single parents)

[UnicornGirl]

So, I have an eight year old daughter who is my world. Her dad sees her intermittently, maybe 1-2 times a month. We seperated when she was one. I’ve just found out I’m 4 weeks pregnant. I’m not with the father (no judgement please or I’ll have to delete this thread as I’ve been emotional enough all weekend as it is) and he doesn’t know yet. I will tell him, but I really don’t know how he’s going to react. I have to assume I’m doing this alone. He’s not an asshole, he’s actually a good friend. We went on a date and slept together. He struggled with the fact he’s not over his ex, was honest with me and I told him I’m happy to just be his friend if that’s what he needs. So I don’t think he’s going to be thrilled. I’ve been on this pill for six years and I’m not naive enough to think that it doesn’t fail sometimes but I think I’m still in a bit of shock. I guess I need some reassurance that I can do this and maybe some advice on telling him because I don’t think I have ever been through anything so nervewracking in my whole life.

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. First, you can do it! And I was 8/9 when my twin brothers were born, and I was so stoked to help feed them and change diapers and help. I was totally mommy junior. So hopefully DD can help out a bit

I’m very rip off the band aid type. So maybe for your sanity think about what you want to say or do if he takes it poorly, gets shocked info silence, takes it well... I am also a fan of telling early so they can sort through their feelings by the first prenatal.

Flip side I don’t judge anybody who waits to tell dad until later. Your call because you know your dynamic best.

Is he back with his ex? Have you talked since?

What is your ideal scenario? I think you should make sure you know what you want before talking to him as well.

 

[UnicornGirl]

Hugs. First, you can do it! And I was 8/9 when my twin brothers were born, and I was so stoked to help feed them and change diapers and help. I was totally mommy junior. So hopefully DD can help out a bit

I’m very rip off the band aid type. So maybe for your sanity think about what you want to say or do if he takes it poorly, gets shocked info silence, takes it well... I am also a fan of telling early so they can sort through their feelings by the first prenatal.

Flip side I don’t judge anybody who waits to tell dad until later. Your call because you know your dynamic best.

Is he back with his ex? Have you talked since?

What is your ideal scenario? I think you should make sure you know what you want before talking to him as well.

Thank you for replying! I know she would love a little brother or sister, and she is fantastic with her cousin. He’s 18 months old and she reads to him and plays with him. When he was little she was so gentle with him and used to stroke his head gently and tell him she loves him so I have no doubt she’d be great.

Yeah, I’m thinking I need to just tell him ASAP for my own sanity as well as his because like you say, it’ll give him some time to think about it and get used to things.

He isn’t back with his ex, no. They aren’t getting back together, he was with her a long time and is clearly just not in the right headspace for anything yet. He did everything right though. He tried to move on and couldn’t so he was honest with me right away. We’ve hung out since just as friends! We’re both musicians so we’ve been to each other’s gigs and we had a jam at my house the other day and everything was fine.

I think that until I know how he feels about it, I haven’t even thought any further. I mean, I haven’t had a proper relationship in seven years and to be honest I don’t really want one. I guess ideally he’d be super involved and supportive and our friendship would stay the same but I really don’t know how he’s going to take this.

Thank you for your advice. I’m gonna message him now and ask when he’s free! Gah!

 

[Chezzer]

I'm a single mum too met some guy off good old plenty of fish (uk) had a handful of dates and unprotected sex im 21 wks now he's not really shown much interest tbh. This is my second child my son who's 13 lives with his dad I get every wkend. U don't need a man to do it. U can do this. I just told the dad send him a bunch of posative tests he's been to both scans and sounded so deflated when he heard he was having a girl.x

 

[Rovemongoose]

Yup I’m pretty much the same as Chezzer. Met a guy off POF. I am on the pill but I was also on antibiotics for bronchitis. Suffice to say I’m now 4 weeks pregnant. He knows but totally isn’t thrilled and freaking out etc. Hopefully he will come around. it’s happning, whether he likes it or not!

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs hope it went/goes well! Looks like you have a few other single preggo mommas to chat with about preggo stuff!