Sleep Sense Support Group!

[Nunnster]

I'm back.... For support and questions.

So LO was doing great with SS then we went on holiday and was bf him to sleep or pushing him in pram and after a week we are totally screwed up. Am so mad and the holiday wasnt worth it. Plus throw In jet lag, 2 hr time difference and a long flight delay home plus he has the sniffles ( been plunging the mucous out of his nose and sneezing a lot).

I thought I would get started right away on SS and did it first day back. Nighttime a 2 hr shrieking fest and mixed naps and last night same thing 2 hrs of shrieking from 7-9pm. I wonder if he will pierce his eardrum?

So this morning when he woke from 4-530ish with the snotty nose I felt guilty. Is he sick and I shouldn't be doing this? Is he jet lagged and I shouldnt be doing this? Am I a bad? Or am I looking for excuses to just go and cuddle him and nurse him to sleep?

Thomas is now 5 mths old with a good set of lungs and clearly stamina. Before the holiday we found he would rarely hit 20 min of crying but if he did we pu/pd and that soothed him. I know you arent supposed to. The shushing and stroking doesn't work as he kind of looks at you to help him. Also naps...yesterday it took 2 hrs of crying for a 40 min nap .... That's crazy. Can I not just get him up after 20 min and try again after a bit otherwise there is not much to his day...it's all screaming pretty much?

I kinda want to abandon program and get him on normal time and sniffles gone and then start again but don't want to waste these 2 nights of 2hr scream fests! Or is that me looking for an excuse again? First round With SS program at 3/4 months was a breeze compared to now.

HELP

 

[polaris]

I'm back.... For support and questions.

So LO was doing great with SS then we went on holiday and was bf him to sleep or pushing him in pram and after a week we are totally screwed up. Am so mad and the holiday wasnt worth it. Plus throw In jet lag, 2 hr time difference and a long flight delay home plus he has the sniffles ( been plunging the mucous out of his nose and sneezing a lot).

I thought I would get started right away on SS and did it first day back. Nighttime a 2 hr shrieking fest and mixed naps and last night same thing 2 hrs of shrieking from 7-9pm. I wonder if he will pierce his eardrum?

So this morning when he woke from 4-530ish with the snotty nose I felt guilty. Is he sick and I shouldn't be doing this? Is he jet lagged and I shouldnt be doing this? Am I a bad? Or am I looking for excuses to just go and cuddle him and nurse him to sleep?

Thomas is now 5 mths old with a good set of lungs and clearly stamina. Before the holiday we found he would rarely hit 20 min of crying but if he did we pu/pd and that soothed him. I know you arent supposed to. The shushing and stroking doesn't work as he kind of looks at you to help him. Also naps...yesterday it took 2 hrs of crying for a 40 min nap .... That's crazy. Can I not just get him up after 20 min and try again after a bit otherwise there is not much to his day...it's all screaming pretty much?

I kinda want to abandon program and get him on normal time and sniffles gone and then start again but don't want to waste these 2 nights of 2hr scream fests! Or is that me looking for an excuse again? First round With SS program at 3/4 months was a breeze compared to now.

HELP

I would advise to follow your instincts and wait until he's better and recovered from the jet lag and then start again. Also I know I read somewhere that you shouldn't try for longer than an hour for a nap before getting them up - I know I never tried for a nap for longer than about 30 minutes when Thomas was younger.

 

[Nunnster]

Thanks Polaris... Have gone with my instinct and going to wait til he is back on track. The knot in my stomach hasn't gone yet...this crying is really taking it's toll on me. I guess this is par for the motherhood course though and I keep telling myself I am not the first to go through this!

 

[Foogirl]

I would actually advise carrying on with it. Having a cold needn't mean they need more help getting to sleep. I think you will be reverting back to the beginning whenever you choose to start again!

 

[Bumpontherun]

Hi ladies,

Well here I am with baby number 2! I really hoped not to need SS again and since Sally was STTN at 8 weeks I was pretty sure I wouldn't. However over the last month things have got worse and worse. She used to go down awake after an EBM bottle at 7:30. Then she stopped self settling, needed to be swaddled and rocked with a dummy. Now she can break any swaddle and pulls the dummy out and cries for it! She now has to be boobed to sleep and very carefully laid down - my success rate for this is about 50%. she's up all evening now, generally settling around 11pm, then waking at 4-5 am for a feed. This am she was up at 4:30 and I didn't get her back to sleep until 6:30. She's just up now!

I really can't cope with these evenings, DH and I are constantly snapping at each other and I have an online teaching job which I am struggling to do. I think we need to nip this in the bud, ditch the dummy fully and reset her routine.

I have 2 questions though.

We are due to go and see MIL on Wednesday for 5 days. Do you think we could start tonight anyway? We can continue at MILs keeping everything the same including taking sally's bed with us.

Bizarrely she self settles for naps despite not keeping the dummy in. Yesterday she was awake at 8:30 and napped 10:20-11:45 then 1:30-4:30. Do you think the 2nd nap was too long? She actually fell asleep on the boob at 8:10pm but woke up half an hour later and wouldn't settle until after 11pm.

I really want to start asap- I hate the stress of not knowing how I'm going to get her to sleep.

 

[Nunnster]

Thanks Foogirl ... Turns out it was a teething related cold. Thomas was not only jetlagged, stuffed up, post vacation and routine less but also teething! Two teeth on the bottom cut through yesterday. Who knew - 5 months and 1 week! So sleep has gone to pot and he is up 3 times a night and nursed to sleep and pushed in the pram during the day. I accidentally parented myself back to the beginning! It explains the shrieking... I can't believe he doesn't hate me. Now when to start again... I want to make sure he is pain free before I do.

Bump on the run - seems we are in the same boat more or less. We are off on a holiday week after next and I think I should wait til we return but boobs may fall off by then with this new routine. Will wait to see what the experts on here advise you.... I can hardly suggest anything being in a similar position. But know you are not alone... I'm at the same desperation stage!

 

[Foogirl]

The advice is not to start before you go on a holiday. But like you bump, we were desperate to get going so we did start two weeks before a holiday. And it was actually absolutely fine.

One thing I will say though, especially if you are going to stay with family, they might not understand it, you will spend ages explaining it to them, they will think you are nuts and perhaps even terrible parents for "letting your baby cry like that" The holiday we went on was with my mum and dad. They never dared say a word bless them but you could see they weren't happy about it. And these are old school "never run to a crying baby" type people!

My sister was the same and it was only a few months later when they saw how well she slept that they finally got it. So, if you have a great relationship with them and couldn't give a toss what they think, give it a go. Otherwise, as I found there is always another excuse gets in the way next week or the week after or the week after.

 

[Foogirl]

Now when to start again... I want to make sure he is pain free before I do.

Start straight away. Babies are never "pain free" The next tooth could start cutting or he could be gassy or he could have a wee cold.......there is always something.

Of course if he is proper poorly, throwing a fever and throwing up etc then I'd give it a miss, but teething? Stick on some gel, give some calpol and carry on. They will actually deal better with teething if they get better sleep.

 

[cutie4evr01]

Hi girls! I'm glad to see this thread is still alive! We have started sleepsense with baby #2 also. She is a much more contented baby and she was good at self-settling, but then as she's gotten older we have relied on a dummy and rocking her to sleep and as soon as she's asleep and we put her down she pops right back awake again. We also took away her swaddle about 2 weeks ago which didn't help. So we are in and out all night, and knew we needed to go ahead and make a change.

So last night we started and bedtime went amazingly well - She played/babbled for 10 minutes and then cried for 12 minutes before falling asleep. We are doing the "stay in room" method this time, so I sat with her that time. She woke at 11 and DH went in to settle her but she was getting more and more upset so after 20 minutes I went in. (We had decided in advance not to feed her if it was before midnight - she last fed at 6:30 and had bed at 7). I picked her up for just a brief second to calm her (I know, a big no-no!), but she did calm so I laid her down and she whimpered/whined for about 20 minutes and then got very loud again. Finally after crying off and on for another 30 minutes or so she went back to sleep. Then she woke at 4am and this time I fed her and put her back down wide awake and she talked for a few minutes to herself and went right to sleep with no crying at all!

She was up for the day at 7, so I put her for her first nap at 9am. She played for 5 minutes, cried for 7 and went to sleep at 9:12. Then she woke at 9:36 so we left her (did not go into room), and she cried off and on (mostly off) until she went to sleep again at 10:05. I felt bad about not going in during that time, but everytime I was about to go in, she got quiet again, so I didn't want to disturb her. Anyway, all in all, so far so good. I think maybe I should have fed her at 11 and she would have settled much easier - we haven't started solids yet and she's quite a hungry girl, so I'm never sure whether she needs those night feeds or not.

Anyway, my question for you lovely ladies is - is it ok to give her a lovey blanket? She doesn't have her dummy or her swaddle, so I feel horrible that she doesn't have a security object. The book recommends a small blanket or soft toy, but I'm so scared she'll get it on her face and suffocate. What have you done? Thank you for reading, and I'll be checking in on you all.

Bumpontherun, are you back from MIL's? How is it going?

Nunnster, how are you getting on?

 

[Foogirl]

Yep, a comforter is a great idea. Abby has Funty, her fluffy elephant. It's not the same kind of sleep crutch as a dummy. Just make sure whatever you choose, get a few spare and rotate them in the wash / clean etc otherwise you are in a world of trouble if one gets lost!

 

[Patient girl]

Hi ladies. Is anyone around to offer me some much needed support with sleepsense programme? It's our first night tonight & I am struggling with the crying - 4.5 hrs & counting. LO is used to nursing to sleep - she's 12 wks old & never naps & struggles to sleep because she's overtired. I'm crying Too!!
Thanks in advance.
X

 

[Arcanegirl]

Big ((hugs)) we didnt start sleepsense that early but hopefully someone can offer some advise who has. I can certainly offer lots of hugs though

 

[Foogirl]

Hi ladies. Is anyone around to offer me some much needed support with sleepsense programme? It's our first night tonight & I am struggling with the crying - 4.5 hrs & counting. LO is used to nursing to sleep - she's 12 wks old & never naps & struggles to sleep because she's overtired. I'm crying Too!!
Thanks in advance.
X

Sorry I missed this - hopefully you got through it ok. We did it at about the same age and it was horrible the first night, but it did subside over the following days. Absolutely stick with it. Abby is now nearly three and has been a brilliant sleeper since we started with sleepsense. She goes for naps and goes to bed without a complaint.

Keep us updated on your progress.

 

[Patient girl]

Hi. Well, we tried it for 2 nights & gave up for now LO didn't stop screaming the whole time - at no point was she calm enough to put back in her crib so it was nearly 5 hours of pacing a room with a hysterical infant - awful experience. Do you think it's worth emailing sleepsense to see what they advise? The book seemed to assume that baby would settle after a cuddle.
Thanks again for replying!

 

[polaris]

Hi. Well, we tried it for 2 nights & gave up for now LO didn't stop screaming the whole time - at no point was she calm enough to put back in her crib so it was nearly 5 hours of pacing a room with a hysterical infant - awful experience. Do you think it's worth emailing sleepsense to see what they advise? The book seemed to assume that baby would settle after a cuddle.
Thanks again for replying!

I started at four months with Thomas - I'm not sure that I could really have started before that because he was too bad with wind and I'm not sure that he would have been able to settle. I would probably wait a few weeks and try again.

 

[Foogirl]

Definitely email them, they are very helpful.

How about trying her in the crib rather than lifting her? It may be she didn't want cuddles. You can still soothe her lying down. If you are sure all her needs are met, There is no problem starting at that age.

 

[Bumpontherun]

Hi is anybody still Reading this?? I really need help. After months of procastinating we decided to start ss with sally on fri. Well when I say we I really mean me. Dh sleeps in a seperate room so isn't around for nights. Sally has been able to self settle with a dummy for ages but we wanted to get rid of it as I was putting it back in several times a night.

Bedtime is ok now- she is very sleepy from bf but she is just awake and either goes down fine or with maybe 30 secs of crying. She naps for an hour in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. These are variable but maybe 2-5 mind of crying which is fine.

My problem is when she wakes at night. She was having 2-3 bf each night and I don't think she's ready to stop night feeds yet. So tonight she woke at midnight. I waited 10 mind but she was getting more upset so I went in and fed her. she dozed off feeding but then woke up as I was moving her. I laid her down and left ( we do leave and check). She's been awake ever since. Screaming intermingled with moaning, chatting and laughing. Last time I went in she had rolled onto her front was wedged in the corner of the cot screaming. Last night she did this for over 2 hrs, eventually I fed her again and she dozed off. Tonight I tried staying in the room but that just seemed to upset her more. I'm so exhausted now. I'm getting maybe 3 hrs sleep a night and I'm really struggling. Should I just leave her to it after the night feed? Should I keep going in every 10 mins? Should I sit with her? I'm guessing she's probably on her front again. I'm at my wits end. I'm so tempted just to put my fingers in my ears and go to sleep. I want to abandon the whole thing and give her back the dummy - I just really need some sleep.

 

[Foogirl]

I wouldn't have thought at 7 months, there needs to be 3 feeds a night. But can understand not wanting to give them up. Maybe pick one feed to keep?

Abby went through a phase in SS of being awake for hours in the night. She was settled enough so we just left her. It only lasted about a week.

It sounds like your LO is doing something similar, albeit is more vocal about it. Unless you think your LO needs something from you, I would leave them to it. Consistency is the key.

 

[TennisGal]

Hi chick...Ally has done a bit of this...seemingly ready to play at awful o'clock. She's still in with us, and after a couple of nights we fed, put her back in her cot and did lots of shhhhh. About three nights in, and she was sleeping properly again. Same cannot be said for the early starts, and I think we may have to take a consistent approach to those, as she's clearly tired v early...

 

[Bumpontherun]

Thanks for the replies it's nice not to feel alone! Foogirl I agree one night feed is fine and the first few nights of SS she only had one. I think tonight I will feed her if it's after midnight and then just leave her to sort herself out. Eventually last night she fell asleep after crying off and on for ages. Nothing I did seemed to make much difference though. It's just so hard in the middle of the night especially when I'm worried she's disturbing Helen. I also find it so weird that the middle of the night waking is the sticky point. With Helen nightimes were easier, it was naps which took weeks to sort!