Sleep Sense Support Group!

[jessabella]

Thanks everyone..well the night went well. She didnt wake up again till 8
So will see what happens today..she actaully went down at 7pm..no problems at all..she was buggard!

Well Im not sure if it was teeth or just an off night. She has been teething for ages..but was cranky today...may have been teeth or tired after last night but she didnt want to nap too much..and also we were out all day too...but she did have calpol tonight..will see how she goes tonight..Im so so so tired for some reason after last night..wasnt tired this morning but really really tired now!

 

[polaris]

Sometimes they do just have off nights. This will continue I'm afraid! Once you try to stick to the routine as much as possible, there is no harm in being a little bit flexible when necessary.

Thomas is a great sleeper now and we did have to work hard at that but I was always flexible for times that he was teething or unwell.

 

[jessabella]

yes I want to be that way as well..I just am sometiems confuesed if she is playing up or if she really in need or something like that. But I think she has done so well for long enough to say that when its one off like this it may be something generally wrong..if you know what I mean

 

[Arcanegirl]

Yep i get you, weve been at that stage now for ages that when Alex wakes up its because something is wrong.

 

[Nunnster]

Wow I'm inspired and glad I found this group... Started the sleep sense today with a 13 week old and the crying made me doubt myself so I started googling and found this which shows me I am not alone. Yay! We did the pu/pd method since he is 13 weeks and born 2 wks early so thought it's a good way to start since he is so little. He had 1 short nap today for 2 hrs and a few catnaps but nothing major. Put him down at 7 he got to sleep 745 and it's now 10. We'll see ... I've made my hubby tell me a million times we are doing the right thing.

I am right?

 

[Arcanegirl]

Welcome to the group!

 

[chrissie33]

Sleep sense was a godsend for me - it really is a great solution to a sleep problem - my dd was 13 months when I did it and I have not looked back. We have relapses with sickness, teethin etc but it is really the best method as I had tried a few before. Good luck hun xx

 

[Foogirl]

Wow I'm inspired and glad I found this group... Started the sleep sense today with a 13 week old and the crying made me doubt myself so I started googling and found this which shows me I am not alone. Yay! We did the pu/pd method since he is 13 weeks and born 2 wks early so thought it's a good way to start since he is so little. He had 1 short nap today for 2 hrs and a few catnaps but nothing major. Put him down at 7 he got to sleep 745 and it's now 10. We'll see ... I've made my hubby tell me a million times we are doing the right thing.

I am right?

You are absolutely right. We did sleep sense with Abby when she was a wee bit older than that but having been 3 months early, was between the 0-6 and 6-12 methods. we decided to go for the older one and have never looked back. she was going to sleep with little protest within a week and with no protest after about 3 weeks. naps took longer to crack but overall within a couple of months we had a baby on 3 solid naps and a full nights sleep. She still goes to bed brilliantly and naps once a day with no trouble. Those first days and nights are hard but trust me the long term rewards to your LO are so worth it. When they get the sleep they need, life becomes so much better for them. Sure it helps mum and dad too, but the biggest benefit is to your LO. Remember that and you will get through the next few days. Also, when tonight or tomorrow, you feel like giving up, think about how much you went through that first night and if you go back to your previous ways, that will all have been for nothing.

We're all here for any questions you might have xxx

 

[Arcanegirl]

Im going to need to re read the book for #2 and start from the begginning. Maybe I should buy it this time

 

[Nunnster]

Thanks so much for your posts of encouragement and support... It really means a lot at this 'more vulnerable than usual' time. And I will re-read your words foogirl because they are bang on this is for him and life will be better for him with good sleep.

Thomas turned 14 weeks yesterday and after a shrieking fest last night at his 7pm bedtime (this was the first time he had ever been put down awake in his life) he finally went down at 745. He woke at 10, 1, 4 and then 7. He went down awake no probs after his feeds during the night. Then today he got up at 7 back to bed at 830 (40min nap with minimal protest except when we left him after he woke from his 40 min nap). Got him up at 10 then down at 1130-2 (no protest) and then he fell asleep in his stroller at 315 til 345 and wouldn't go back down so we brought his bedtime forward to 630 and he cried for 10 mins and went out (to be continued what kind of night it is)

Question at 14 weeks should we do the pu/pd method after a certain crying point? That stops the crying but then cries again after being put down. My
hubby stays in the room with him but reassuring him over the crib doesn't really help. Ok this is based on one night so early days I guess? Just
wondering if I am off to the right start?

How long do you let the crying go on for? I read for naps any longer than 20 mins just pick them up and start the cycle of eat, activity... And bring the next nap forward. What about nighttime crying?

Sorry for long winded email.... Talking with others who have done this is cathartic... And soooooooo helpful

 

[Foogirl]

The trick is to pick one method and stick to it. Picking him up if he has cried for a while will just confusing and as you found will just mean he does it as soon as you put him down. Age wise I think I 'd be tempted not to use it, and just stick with settling him down whilst he is in his cot.

The nighttime crying, let it go for as long as it lasts. I will say 45 mins for the first attempt is actually a good result. It took us 3 days to get to that! It should get less every night. The reason they say 20 mins for naps is that after that point you are getting close to the next nap being due so if you go longer than that you'd be doing that all day. One wee point to try if you think you are able and your LO will cope with it. We decided on the stay in the room method, and on night three, out of frustration we thought "Fine, we'll leave you to it" and left the room. She stopped in 5 minutes. Turned out the stay in the room was better for us than it was for her! We were just stopping her getting to sleep.

Naps are always more challenging, the nighttime sleep will come first. A few tips to make it easier at naps. First relax and don't get too hung up on naps, they will happen. Second is to clock watch. Abby was first a 45 minute baby, then a 90 minute baby, if she went beyond 90 minutes up, her naps were horrific. Also watch for the sleepy signs and make sure you go for the nap before LO is too tired. Some ladies here decided not to do SS for the naps and made sure their LOs got their naps by rocking or taking them out in the pram. Personally, for me that just prolongs the process so I chose to stick with the plan, but you might decide that is best for you just now.

Stay strong, the tough bit will be over very soon and it really is so very worth it.

 

[Nunnster]

Tks foogirl!

The night wasn't bad - bed at 630, woke for a feed at 1120 then 420 and up at 7. I fed him at both of those times.... Is that bad?

Today... Not so great 2 naps for 40 mins each!!! Not a lot for a 14wk old me thinks!!! Bed at 730 with 20 min of crying and hubby did the p/u because he was home alone I was out

Am I screwing this up? Today felt it went not so good felt like it was constant nap attempts and lots and lots and lots of crying.

Am exhausted

 

[Foogirl]

Tks foogirl!

The night wasn't bad - bed at 630, woke for a feed at 1120 then 420 and up at 7. I fed him at both of those times.... Is that bad?

Today... Not so great 2 naps for 40 mins each!!! Not a lot for a 14wk old me thinks!!! Bed at 730 with 20 min of crying and hubby did the p/u because he was home alone I was out

Am I screwing this up? Today felt it went not so good felt like it was constant nap attempts and lots and lots and lots of crying.

Am exhausted

Not screwing it up, the naps are always challenging. It will come, I promise you, stick at it. If you want to cheat and get another nap using a method you know works, as I said that has worked for some ladies. Even if you lie down with him in your bed and get a bit of shut eye yourself, that might help a bit - even if he doesn't actually sleep. I still do this sometimes and Abby is 2 and a half!!

As for the feeding at nighttime, that is absolutely your call. If you think your LO still needs those feeds you should give them, just make sure he isn't falling asleep on it and goes back into the cot drowsy but awake. The only problem with night feeding is if he is associating it with a method for falling asleep rather than as a requirement for food. I think Abby was going through the night without a feed at that point but TBH that was only because she never woke for one.

If your OH found that PUPD worked and there was much reduced crying, perhaps stick with that method for now?

 

[Nunnster]

Okey dokey will stick with it. It kinda seems to be working although I feel I am constantly back and forth from the bedroom. Feels like he is no sooner up and then we are prepping for a nap and back in bed

He cried for 35 mins tonight... Last night 10mins... No two days are the same.

Will keep chugging along!

 

[Nunnster]

Ok another question .... What happens when he gets up at 745am, eats, plays and goes down for a nap at 910. He the cries til 945 soi get him up but now it's 10am and I amfeecing him again to start the whole EASY cycle again? That means feeding him after just 2 hours.

In saying that he's falling asleep while I bf. Hmmm now what skip activity and go straight to bed?

 

[Foogirl]

Ok another question .... What happens when he gets up at 745am, eats, plays and goes down for a nap at 910. He the cries til 945 soi get him up but now it's 10am and I amfeecing him again to start the whole EASY cycle again? That means feeding him after just 2 hours.

In saying that he's falling asleep while I bf. Hmmm now what skip activity and go straight to bed?

I would keep his feeds on the same "schedule" So if he usually feeds every three hours, then stick to that. If he is falling asleep on the boob, you could either give him a little tickle to keep him awake, or use it as a wee "cheat" nap then try for the next nap at the usual time.

If Abby's nap didn't work, I got her up and played until she next wanted fed, played a bit more after the feed then put her down for a nap as soon as I saw the tired signs, but always within 90 minutes (she had really regular sleep cycles! 90 minutes up and she was ready to sleep!) I think she had about 4 naps a day.

I tied myself in knots trying to keep to a proper routine but gave up eventually and let her lead me. It became too difficult because she never woke the same time every day and I wasn't keen on waking her up. So basically I started counting whenever she got up - which sometimes meant she was having her last nap almost til bedtime. So we just shifted that too!

It does sound like night times are getting sorted though so hopefully the naps will follow soon. Abby did go from previously napping 2 hours, to napping 45 minutes when we started - a big backward step, but we needed to do SS to get her bedtime sorted. She eventually increased her nap length but until then she just got more of them!!

 

[Nunnster]

Ok that makes more sense... Funny how common sense goes out the window when dealing with these little miracles. Today we got one 3 hour nap in and protested the rest and took s sly one en route to the grocery store so bed time was brought forward to 630. Night times are coming along great we are so pleased. Hubby and i are eating dinner together again! so will just keep at the nap thing... We'll get there one less tear at a time I hope!!!

Thanks again... Appreciate your guidance and encouragement

 

[Foogirl]

Ok that makes more sense... Funny how common sense goes out the window when dealing with these little miracles. Today we got one 3 hour nap in and protested the rest and took s sly one en route to the grocery store so bed time was brought forward to 630. Night times are coming along great we are so pleased. Hubby and i are eating dinner together again! so will just keep at the nap thing... We'll get there one less tear at a time I hope!!!

Thanks again... Appreciate your guidance and encouragement

Common sense is directly proportional to the amount of sleep we get for sure! It is always easier to take a rational view when looking from the outside too. I remember having long discussions with my husband, trying to work out the best way to have our day and make sure she was home for all her naps. Two educated, sensible people and we couldn't work out logistics for the best - and we were only going out to the shops!! It was crazy. And not the only time we have been at a loss for what to do either!! Definitely the most mentally challenging thing we have faced in our life.

The only other advice I would give is, once you actually have naps cracked, or even when you are trying it, maybe consider having one of the daytime naps somewhere other than the cot. We were so pleased to have a fabulous sleeper until it became clear she would not ever sleep anywhere other than the cot. Of course Dana's recommendation is to have all sleep in the cot and just make sure you are home for those times, but there are always occasions when it is not possible. For us it was visiting family far from home, or a couple of weddings we went to. She resolutely refused to nap and it became a nightmare for us both. If she had been able to nap in her pram it would have been a godsend. Especially as before we started SS, she slept in her pram during the day for all her naps and slept well there. I think next time round we will be doing SS from day one and naps will be in the pram and bedtime sleep will be in the cot.

 

[Nunnster]

Too true - lack of sleep does contribute to lack of common sense. And my much dreaded question of the day is- what time should we do that? I have no clue as no two days are the same! Every day naps are different times and lengths.

Did you find that Abby seemed more tired while trying to figure out this program? Or could it be because I'm looking for the signs? He just seems to be yawning all the time is all.

Good advice about naps will make sure one of them at least is in the pram.

Day 7 of the routine and we still get some tears esp with naps but they are less. Do they ever go away?

 

[Foogirl]

yes, they do go away. I forget how long it took, but a few minutes of crying was common for a while. nothing I couldn't deal with. She was napping for shorter times so was a wee bit more tired, but again, she settled down once the naps got better. There is definitely an element of looking more for the signs though.