Sleep Sense Support Group!

[polaris]

Wow this thread is getting nice and busy now - it's so nice to have the support of other people who are going through the same stuff.

PieMistress - woohoo, that sounds like brilliant progress on the night time sleep. Naps are a lot harder. I have read elsewhere that developmentally night time sleep is consolidated before day time sleep - I didn't really feel like Thomas was ready to go to sleep in his cot until he was four months old and I used to rock him in his bouncy chair for every nap - he transitioned pretty easily when I did move him though. I'm not saying that's what you should do as obviously it must be better to be consistent for day and night, but if you do end up having to rock him to sleep I think it's not a disaster while he's still so young. It's definitely not a failure - you are doing brilliant!

HistoryGirls - yeah it sounds like getting rid of the dummies is going to be the hardest step for your LO - but you know it has to happen if she's going to learn to get back to sleep without your help.

Lyre - that's interesting about keeping him up a little bit longer - I've been trying that a bit with Thomas too - he does seem to be able to go longer than 90 minutes now that he's sleeping better at night but still doesn't seem to be able to stay up longer than 2 hours. He managed an hour nap this morning (I did wake to sleep so don't know if that helped) and he is napping again now so we'll see how that goes.

Jacs - that's strange about your LO moving the night feed earlier too - I wonder what that's about? Last night was back to 3 a.m. feed which seems to be turning out to be the most common time for him to wake for a feed.

 

[lyre]

does anyone else feel like you're always putting them down for a nap! lol. it's funny how it punctuates my day now...............not sure what was going on before this week. lol

 

[polaris]

does anyone else feel like you're always putting them down for a nap! lol. it's funny how it punctuates my day now...............not sure what was going on before this week. lol

Yeah I know! I feel like I'm in more of a routine now anyway, LOL, even if Thomas hasn't quite figured it all out yet.

He's still asleep - went down for his nap at 11.30 so an hour and a quarter so far - YAY!!!

 

[jacs]

Nice one Polaris! Yeah, I can't believe I ever assumed Evan would just fall asleep when he needed to - in the middle of the living room, surrounded by toys/people/noise! Poor kid

 

[lyre]

thats great polaris!

jacs, i know, i feel really mean now that i was keeping him up without realising it...

just gone down for second nap of the day and no protesting at all!!!!!!!! asleep in minutes, really cant believe the improvement and hes a different baby when he's awake, we can play together now for over an hour and he doesnt get grumpy! so so happy x

 

[Foogirl]

Just catching up on the other thread.

Jacs - I'll certainly take that drink if we're in the area - where about in Ireland are you?

Polaris - the video monitor has been a godsend through all of this. It is so much easier to track her sleeping. Plus, like right now, I can see she is just up and she is lying oohing, laughing and chatting and it is so cute. I almost want to leave her there just to enjoy it! But I'd better go get her. My cue that she is ready to get up is that she looks towards the door!

Historygirls - yep, the dummy has to go. But look at it this way, you were going to have to have a fight with her at some point any way to get rid of it. To my mind, doing it now when she has little other option but to cry for a bit then sleep, is much better than dealing with a toddler tantrum later!

Someone said it takes 3 days to build a habit and that is true. But it also takes 3 days to fall back into an old one. So for those who are afraid they have "failed" because they resorted to something...anything.... one time to get a break from it, you haven't gome back to the start, it's just a little blip. Dana makes mention of this kind of thing e.g when they are sick. Once in a while wont hurt, but if they are ill for a week and you take them back into your bed for that week - then its back to the beginning. But every once in a while wont hurt.

As for getting OHs to read the book - mine did it after the second night. I'd outlined the basics but after a couple of nights of trying it we were fraught and bickering and he kept saying "this can't be right" In frustration I yelled "well if you would read the f***ing book you'd find out!!!" So he read it the next day Remember, they don't really have to read it all at once, start them on the chapters outlining the steps to take and if they want to they can read all the rest of it later.

Sleeping in the car / pram etc. We never made any attempt to stop her doing this. But now she only ever does if she is knackered. I think in the first instance, for a couple of weeks, it is best just to avoid having them in the car / pram. Be at home for naps etc as far as is practical, even if it means missing out for a wee while. I became a hermit! Now we commit to at least 2 of her 3 naps in the house and make sure we aren't out every day. If you have to go out - consider having them in the front east - Abby never slept when she was next to me. If you aren't comfortable (or are unable) to do that, try just talking to them or singing loudly But if they sleep, it's no biggie, as long as it isn't every nap.

I'll reiterate again - I would say the one mistake we've made is that Abby now won't sleep easy, anywhere but in a cot. We're going to start one nap a day in her pram in the house as all week we had to be out through one of her naps and she just wouldn't settle. I expect some tears in getting her into it, which is why we are starting at the weekend!

does anyone else feel like you're always putting them down for a nap! lol. it's funny how it punctuates my day now...............not sure what was going on before this week. lol

It definitely does feel like that. And before she became easy to put down I hated it! at the weekend I'd make Mr Foo do it because it was sooooo draining. But now, 6 months on, it is brilliant and I can break my day down into morning tidy up, lunchtime sitting on the sofa watching Judge Judy and doing this, then afternoon catch up on paperwork, or housework etc. It's brilliant! I do miss her sometimes though.

 

[TennisGal]

Polaris, Lyre - excellent news on the nap!!
PM - great progress!
Jacs - I was the same, thought DD would just nap anywhere! Can't believe it!

So nice to read all the good news

Foogirl, that's what I think is holding me back - I love DD napping on me.

Basically, I've not done well with naps again today. I need you all to give me a real kick up the backside, because I know I'm being rubbish with them...and it's purely due to me loving her napping on me. I'm being selfish, really

DD had a short nap in her cot, woke up crying, and I didn't even manage five minutes before scooping her up...she was asleep on me within seconds!

PLEASE boot me up the bum!! I know it's better for her to nap in her cot...I'm just feeling bad due to her teething, and want cuddles!

 

[TennisGal]

Foogirl - you should be getting some sort of commission from Dana, look how popular this thread is

 

[jacs]

This may be overkill TennisGal, as I couldn't find a blinkie that was quite right, but consider it your booting!

Nah, I think it's hard as it is, but when you feel you're LO isn't on top form, you just want to cuddle them all day long!


Thanks Foogirl, might try the front seat thing. I'm not in Ireland (nowhere as pretty!), I live near Newcastle in the North-East. This means you will have to be a hardened drinker to come out for your bevvy!!

 

[flowers04]

wow just had a catch up

i put lo down for a nap at 11.30 and did wake to sleep and she's still asleep now - 2 hrs 30mins and still going - she did wake during this time but has gone back to sleep - now i don't know if it was wake to sleep or that she has a cold - i'll keep trying it though - great tip Polaris thanks

Welcome, Elski, Historygirls and Bloodbinds and good luck with the programme - great support here

HG - My lo was a dummy girl - we would be up so many times replacing it - it has been just over a week now since we stopped it altogether - it was very hard and so tempting to give it when she was in a state but we perservered - the poor thing was desperately sucking away at her blankie yesterday - i felt so awful but its getting better - be strong

TG- its only natural to want to give lo hugs whe they are ill - lo is ill with the cold but she doesn't like it when i try to hold her to sleep - so i put her in the cot. i know its hard but she will learn - just do it when you are ready How is her teething going?

PM - i was sleeping in lo's room all this time but when i started the training i moved back to our room as i felt we were both disturbing each other and i felt i couldn't expect her to self settle if im in view - she would expect me to get up lol - thats just what worked for me but my lo is older - do what you feel is right

Glad you are feeling better polaris - we all need to have a rant - it feels so much better after

Jacs - i keep lo in the front seat in the car - she does nap but not for very long - too busy looking around lol

i too don't like to leave lo when she wakes from a nap - it's not that often that she'll just lie there - normally starts crying straight away so she is clearly tired

wake up lo we need to go out at 3 ahhhhh

 

[polaris]

Well he ended up sleeping for two hours forty five minutes! Woke up in great form chatting away to himself!

Foogirl - I would love a video monitor! Can't really afford it though - but it is such a guessing game trying to listen in on the regular monitor and guess what LO is up to. If I turn the volume up high though I can actually hear him sucking his thumb, LOL!

 

[TennisGal]

Polaris, Flowers - excellent nap news!!

Having had my backside kicked (thank you, Jacs, got me ready to try again!!) I've decided to start naps again...DD is MUCH happier when she's had better quality sleep.

Flowers, teething is going ok - we are using Nelsons powders, which she loves...and ordered her a Sophie Giraffe (thanks, Polaris, for recommendation) I can feel them underneath her gums, but they are taking their time. I have to be on continual watch-out, as she's chewing all sorts...feel like I'm continually sterilising teething rings (which she's not that fussed on, really), yet at the same time she got hold of my sleeve earlier and chewed that. COmpletely negates the sterilising!! Poor love, I wish they'd come through.

I've noticed DD is now having a long nap in the morning (2hrs) and two short naps in the afternoon (around 30 - 45 mins each) SO DH and I are going to work on morning nap tomorrow

 

[Foogirl]

Thanks Foogirl, might try the front seat thing. I'm not in Ireland (nowhere as pretty!), I live near Newcastle in the North-East. This means you will have to be a hardened drinker to come out for your bevvy!!

Must have misread that.

Not sure about being a hardened drinker - I pretty much stick to the soft stuff now, but being brought up in the North East of Scotland, I'm well able to go out without a jacket when it is minus 5 so I reckon I could fit in

HG - My lo was a dummy girl - we would be up so many times replacing it - it has been just over a week now since we stopped it altogether - it was very hard and so tempting to give it when she was in a state but we perservered - the poor thing was desperately sucking away at her blankie yesterday - i felt so awful but its getting better - be strong

Big respect. It is such a hard thing to do. Well done for sticking at it - it is so easy to cave in!

Foogirl - you should be getting some sort of commission from Dana, look how popular this thread is

I know!! It just works so well for us I'm glad you ladies have found it is a solution too.

Foogirl, that's what I think is holding me back - I love DD napping on me.

Basically, I've not done well with naps again today. I need you all to give me a real kick up the backside, because I know I'm being rubbish with them...and it's purely due to me loving her napping on me. I'm being selfish, really

DD had a short nap in her cot, woke up crying, and I didn't even manage five minutes before scooping her up...she was asleep on me within seconds!

PLEASE boot me up the bum!! I know it's better for her to nap in her cot...I'm just feeling bad due to her teething, and want cuddles!

Stop it! You know it's not right. Don't make me come over there......

She will deal better with the teething if she has good quality sleep. I swear, Abby has just had one break through and she has barely given a whimper.

Of course it is lovely. I was the same with feeding her. I'd happily lie on the sofa and give her a feed til she dropped off and in the early days, I'd nap too. But it came to the point where I just didn't have the time to do that three times a day!

You love it now, but think about a month or two or three down the line. Not sure if you are going to be a SAHM or if you will go back to a job, or have more kids. But having a toddler who will only nap on you isn't good! Take it from me, my best friend visited a while back and she was standing rocking her two year old to sleep. She was also knackered and desperately needed a nap, but he wouldn't go off to sleep without her. The reason she is so tired? He is up twice a night for a feed and won't settle without it. He is up all day and rarely naps, unless they are out in the pram. Or she has to rock him to sleep. Then there is the dummy. He has a real hard time going without it - and as double trouble he will only take the TT closer to nature discontinued ones which go for 30 quid a pair on ebay. She only has about 3 left and they are close to perishing! Problem is she won't let him cry at all.

How about this. Limit it to once a day for the next week. That will give you something to look forward to in the day but she will still have two others to practice settling herself. It may mean that naps take longer to establish but it's a compromise!

(Just having an inner laugh to myself - the whole thing is supposed to be about breaking your LO of bad sleep habits - not to break you of them )

 

[history_girls]

I think we are the bottom of the class! For various reasons (including helping ssister whose number 4 is due tomorrow at asda) LO had a late feed and wouln't nap! So after being up for over 3 hours, then screaming when i put her down for a nap she finally went off without a dummy! then 40 mins awake screaming and she just wouldn't stop let alone go to sleep. So in desperation shes know got her dummy (now calm taken away) and is asleep on me.

She is so tired - had to let her sleep. I think we really need to be home but with sister about to pop and house hunting all weekend we are not going to be home. will letting her have bad sleep habits in the day ruin nighttimes? I want her to be able to sleep in more places than her cot - we can't always be in.

 

[Foogirl]

She is so tired - had to let her sleep. I think we really need to be home but with sister about to pop and house hunting all weekend we are not going to be home. will letting her have bad sleep habits in the day ruin nighttimes? I want her to be able to sleep in more places than her cot - we can't always be in.

In the beginning, it is better to have some kind of consistency to avoid her becoming confused and knowing what is happening. I know it is hard to be in all the time but for a week or two, try to minimise trips out. As I said, we're going to practice having her sleep in her pram in the house.

 

[history_girls]

sorry ladies another question! but when you give up dummy is it for everything? i.e. in the shop she likes it but dosen't sleep.

big respect to you who've given it up

 

[Foogirl]

sorry ladies another question! but when you give up dummy is it for everything? i.e. in the shop she likes it but dosen't sleep.

big respect to you who've given it up

I'd be tempted to go cold turkey totally. It should only take a few days and you might well find that those times in the shop happen less often.

 

[TennisGal]

Foogirl, thank you You've given some great advice, just what I needed.

Will be back later, ladies - am off to try a nap!!

ps-history girls, you are not bottom of the class, we ALL have good days, medium days and days where we wonder what's going on!

 

[history_girls]

ok, I made oh read the forum at work and tonight we are going to do together. hide the dummies etc... naps in cot.

Positive mental attitude

Need to sort it - back to work in 5 weeks!

thanks foo girl x

Things like this make me love the forum

 

[polaris]

sorry ladies another question! but when you give up dummy is it for everything? i.e. in the shop she likes it but dosen't sleep.

big respect to you who've given it up

Dana recommends somewhere that you can keep the dummy for other times than sleep times if you want to. Just once you make sure that she doesn't have it for going to sleep.