Sleep Sense Support Group!

[TennisGal]

Yay for the weekend, HG! LOVE the Phoebe-led-weaning - we've got similar here, purees very popular, our plates a close second and a good scattering of finger foods in between, lol.

Great news on the feeds - sounds like she's getting into a really good eating pattern...and WHAT good nights! What a star! Am sure the naps will follow

Did you get some good bargains from Asda? We got two boxes of Johnsons wipes, a TT cup, few bibs with the curved end (perfect for picnics!) and some Petit Filou! They'd run out of the Pampers nappies.

Am really glad to hear things improved after Tuesday

Cattia - I was! lol, I couldn't sleep properly...I slept a lot better, but I was lying awake wondering whether she was hungry for some time

Poor Abigail, I hope she gets rid of the bug asap. Sounds like a plan - holding out until the poos improve

We don't use a blankie, but I think DD and her thumb are the equivalent! I think if it helps, I'd use it. Sounds like naps are going really well

 

[history_girls]

Cattia - 8 weeks! Make the most of every day is my advice. Are you doing full time for the three weeks? Good plan for going back though as you then get paid for the hols I was going to do this until money got in the way.

Tg- Wipes, some spoons and some rusks at asda! They'd run out of our pampers too but I worked out I think that the 2 for £18 was just as good value so got them instead!

 

[Cattia]

HG I am doing three days a week for three and a half weeks then four days from September. I keep wondering how soon I can get pg again so I can take some more maternity leave Not that we can afford it but hey!

TG, I hope you get another good night tonight

 

[Arcanegirl]

Ugh Alex has been great all day, gone down for naps fine but he just wont go down tonight
Its been almost half an hour now trying to get him to settle

 

[TennisGal]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!!!!!!!!!!!

Did he have a lovely day?

Hope he settles soon

 

[TennisGal]

HG - I eat the rusks, oops!

 

[Arcanegirl]

It has been a great day

well talking to OH, figure out Alex was still hungry. The bottle came out and fell on the floor so OH didnt see if Alex had finished or not.

 

[Foogirl]

Hopefully he finally dropped off. It would have been an exciting day for him!

 

[history_girls]

Belated birthday greetings for Alex! Wow one already.

Great night again for us last night and gone to sleep already at home for first nap! Might take bean bag next week.

Tg- our dog eats rusks. and porridge. and yoghurt. and tomato. and fruit puree. and avacado. oh yeah everything!!!!!!

 

[polaris]

Happy belated birthday to Alex! Hope he settled down to sleep alright eventually. If there was a lot of excitement for his birthday then it's not surprising that he took a little bit longer to settle down. I often find that with Thomas, if there has been a lot going on it seems to take him longer to switch off from it all to go to sleep.

Historygirls - how fantastic that your LO is sleeping so well at nights now! Hope you have a really lovely weekend together.

We had a pretty good night - Thomas was very hungry all day yesterday so I thought he might have been up a couple of times for feeds, but only one feed and got up at 6.30 which wasn't too bad.

We are going to a pram walk today in the park, it is to support the meningitis research foundation, they are trying to set the world record for the greatest number of prams in a park - should be a bit of fun!

 

[Arcanegirl]

Yea i did wonder that as it happened before. a nice bottle helped him settle down though, he was asleep not long after taking a 4ozs bottle

 

[Poppy7]

Hi ladies

I've been reading your thread with great interest and have been interested in it since Polaris posted about it in Baby Club.

Anyway, I'll try to keep this short but I'm thinking of trying Sleep Sense but wanted to see if you think it will work for us before I pay out the money.


Elliott has not slept through since the first couple of nights he came home from hospital whern he was born. This has never bothered me. He is 100% bf and we are just starting BLW but obv he is not consuming a huge amount of food right now.

My OH is away until Friday so I thought now would be a good time to work on sleeping whilst he is not here so that we are not disturbing him at night (he works full time and needs his sleep).

Elliott has a dummy for sleep/nap times. He has on the odd occasion fallen asleep with out it in the pram. Other than thatm he does need it to go to sleep. He doesn't tend to wake up for it at night and it often falls out once he is asleep.

I would love to the ditch the dummy but I hate to hear him cry. Call me soft but it really distresses me. Tonight I thought I would try to get him to sleep without it. after 2 minutes of crying I picked him up and soothed him. He was in a state after this short time so CC and CIO will not work for him. Also I do not want to try these methods.

He used to go 3 hours between feeds at night (sometimes even 5 or 6). We used to have the odd bad night but 2 or 3 times of getting up I can handle. However, we were poorly a few weeks ago and it's gone awol since then. He is back to feeding like a newborn most days. I do not mind this and am baby led so he feeds when he wants it. However at night, generally from 1am onwards the waking is excessive. Sometimes I am up every hour and only the breast and a drink will settle him. I have tried giving him his dummy to soothe him but it does not work. I suppose this is good and proof that he is not waking for the dummy.

He naps in my dressing gown (long story how this came about) and the last few nights when he has woken up I have taken him out of his sleeping bag and wrapped him in my dressing gown. This has made him sleep much better. I also think he looks more comfortable, snuggly and he can obv smell me on it. When nights have been really bad he has ended up in bed with me and OH (there is only so much interrupted sleep one person can have!!).

I have tried feeding him water when he wakes - this he will not accept
I have tried talking, shushing, playing him music. This only works 1 in 10 times I would say.
I have tried pu/pd this frustrates him more
I have not tried CC and CIO and will not
Only the breast will do!!
Last night when he woke up a few times (I was up every hours from 1am last night) snuggling him up more in the dressing gown without removing him from the cot did work. I was pleased with this. However, he stll ended up in with us at 5am.
He is still in our room at the moment as I'm not ready for him to be moved yet.

Oooopppss I said it would be short. From that analysis do you think we should give SS a try (I know the dummy will be our main issue but can we still do SS with it??).

Forgot to add. Daytime naps can be a struggle. I follow the 2 hour rule or he will go down sooner if he wants to. I struggle to get him to sleep past 30 minutes at a time (though he has managed longer than this on the odd occasion.

Any thoughts or advice will be greatly received.xxxxxxx

 

[Bumpontherun]

Hi ladies,

Well over the last week and a half I have read this entire thread - that probably gives you an idea of how much time I spend BF through the night!!

I finally bit the bullet this morning and paid up - we are starting tomorrow.

Here's my background

Helen is nearly 4 and a half months, she is BF. She has never been a good sleeper since birth. From about 8 wks until the almost 4 months I have been able to feed her to sleep and sneak her into the moses basket at night. She was gradually cutting out her night feeds and by 3 1/2 months was only waking once at around 4am. Then we hit the 4 month growth spurt and it all went pear shaped This week things seem to be back on track. We have just moved her into the big cot in her own room and she usually sleeps 8-around 4am, up for a feed and then back to sleep until around 6 where I bring her into bed with me for a sleep/feed for another hour. During the day she naps on me - stirring to suck every 10 mins or so (I have to sit with my boob out or she wakes up!!) or she will snooze for 45 mins max in the pram or sling. She screams blue murder in the car.

I know this doesn't sound that bad but I am just exhausted by being the only person who can get her to sleep. It takes 30-60 mins to feed her to sleep every night, during the night and for naps. Then there is no gaurantee that she won't wake up when I put her down. I really want her to be able to self settle so that OH can help with bedtimes and so she goes down smoothly after night feeds and for naps.

I have spent the last week perfecting her bedtime routine and introducing a very short nap routine (I can sometimes put her down in her cot for 10 mins before she wakes up) so I think I have set her up as best I can for starting tomorrow. I am pretty worried about how long she will cry for. She has screamed for 45 mins in the car so I'm hoping that's her limit.

I know a lot of you talk about doing night sleeping 1st then sorting out naps. Will it confuse things if I feed her to sleep for daytime naps for the 1st week or so? I'm pretty worried about how much she'll cry and I'm not sure I will be able to cope with it during the day after having had a really hard night.

Poppy7 - I think the program will involve crying. In the literature Dana says somewhere that the best result she had was a baby that only cried for 3 mins, the worst was 2 hours (I'm fear Helen might be more like the worst). I only find it acceptable because I can sit there with her the whole time so whe won't think I've abandoned her. I am still dreading it.

 

[Cattia]

Welcome new ladies! Poppy, I do think it sounds as though sleepsense might help you. Dana does say ditch the dummy but as someone said the other day, not everyone here is a sleepsense purist, so I am sure you could try some of the methods and still use the summy at first, you might find as you get going with it that you'll be more able to wean off the dummy if that's what you want to do. My LO is EBF as well and it really is tiring when you are the only one who can sort things for them in the night. It does sound as though he is using the breast as a 'sleep prop' (all too familiar to me!) and so teaching him to self settle would help him I'm sure. Dana actually recommends using a blankie or comforter of some sort, so maybe your dressing gown would act as that? If you're not particularly attached to it, you could even cut a square out of it and give it to him as a blankie!

Bumpontherun, welcome also! Growth spurts are a nightmare. Every time we have one it seems to take weeks to get over it! I think working on nights first is a good idea as they are much easier to crack. You can pretty much let things ride with naps until you have the nights right.

You are right, the programme does involve some crying, I found this hard but do-abe as I was able to be there as much as I wanted so I knew that she was not crying because she'd been left on her own. I have actually found that when she is really tired, Abigail cries just as much when I'm cuddling her as she does lying in her cot, which to me really proves that she's crying becasue she wants to go to sleep but can't. That's why I think SS made sense to me, I don't think it would work if you really felt that the only way to comfort a crying baby was by holding them. I think one of the best things about SS is this thread! There are so many lovely ladies here to chat and offer support and I am sure you'll find it invaluable.

 

[Poppy7]

Welcome new ladies! Poppy, I do think it sounds as though sleepsense might help you. Dana does say ditch the dummy but as someone said the other day, not everyone here is a sleepsense purist, so I am sure you could try some of the methods and still use the summy at first, you might find as you get going with it that you'll be more able to wean off the dummy if that's what you want to do. My LO is EBF as well and it really is tiring when you are the only one who can sort things for them in the night. It does sound as though he is using the breast as a 'sleep prop' (all too familiar to me!) and so teaching him to self settle would help him I'm sure. Dana actually recommends using a blankie or comforter of some sort, so maybe your dressing gown would act as that? If you're not particularly attached to it, you could even cut a square out of it and give it to him as a blankie!

Bumpontherun, welcome also! Growth spurts are a nightmare. Every time we have one it seems to take weeks to get over it! I think working on nights first is a good idea as they are much easier to crack. You can pretty much let things ride with naps until you have the nights right.

You are right, the programme does involve some crying, I found this hard but do-abe as I was able to be there as much as I wanted so I knew that she was not crying because she'd been left on her own. I have actually found that when she is really tired, Abigail cries just as much when I'm cuddling her as she does lying in her cot, which to me really proves that she's crying becasue she wants to go to sleep but can't. That's why I think SS made sense to me, I don't think it would work if you really felt that the only way to comfort a crying baby was by holding them. I think one of the best things about SS is this thread! There are so many lovely ladies here to chat and offer support and I am sure you'll find it invaluable.

Thanks Cattia Elliott does have a blankie too (half a muslin) which lately he has taken to carrying and chewing like a dog Therefore at least when the dummy has gone he will still have his blankie. Tonight I put him to bed at 7.30 ish and he has woken up twice since then. First time a feed settled him back to sleep, the second time a feed and wraping him in my dressing gown sent him back to sleep (took him out of his sleeping bag). He stirred just a moment ago as well You are right, I do thinkn he is using me as a prop but then sometimes he will feed ferociously so I think he must be hungry I know there will be a degree of crying but it breaks my heart thinking about it that's why I'm scared to try it.xx

 

[Poppy7]

Well I paid the ££££ and have downloaded the information. I have't had chance to read it yet (need to go to bed as I'm tired from last nights wakings!!). Hopefully it will work. If it doesn't £30 isn't too bad I don't think. Will let you know how we get on.xx

 

[jacs]

Hi, welcome Poppy7 and Bumpontherun (love that name!)

Poppy7 - you must be exhausted! We got into a habit of having different props too. It got so ridiculous that I knew we had to do something about it. Sleep cycles are about 45mins long, so it sounds like your LO is needing resettling every hour because he don't know how to go to sleep. Yes, there will be some crying, but think how much frustration you will be removing, if Elliott can get himself to sleep!
You will be right next to him the whole time, and you can touch/whisper to him. It definitely isn't CC or CIO, but you do have to accept that there will be tears as it is a change of routine. We had crying the first night, but that was it.
Wishing you lots of luck, keep us updated!

Bumpontherun - oh, we had that problem - Evan wouldn't sleep unless it was me prancing up and down his bedroom until he dropped off, then sneaking him into his cot! We had crying on and off for half an hour the first time. I think it is common for it to go on quite a long time, but it very quickly settles. They cry because you are doing things differently, and they can't predict what's going to happen next. Once you've gone through it with them a few times, it's not a problem! This is why consistency is so important (your routines sound great). If you change anything, they are back to square one.
A lot of people have tackled naps after night times, and it has worked out well. We did everything at once, to eliminate any confusion, and Evan never had a problem with it. Naps and night sleeps improved on the first day! I think you should just do what you feel is best for your LO.
Fingers crossed, let us know how it's going!

Well, thanks to TG, we may have cracked sleeping through again. Evan did a good stint of this, then got back into a habit of having one feed over the past couple of weeks.
On Saturday night, we left him a bit longer than normal (he wasn't crying, but fidgety). He fell asleep, then didn't wake up again until the morning. Last night he didn't wake at all, where his feed would be!
Have to say, I wouldn't have tried it if TG hadn't (what a wimp!).

Hope everyone's had a good night x

 

[polaris]

Hi Poppy7 - welcome! I hope it works for you as well as it has worked for me and Thomas. I've no experience on the dummy side of things because Thomas never took one, but some of the other ladies have. It definitely sounds like he is using the breast as a sleep prop when he wakes during the night. Thomas was the same when we started - I couldn't understand it because he self-settled at bedtime and I could put him down drowsy but awake after his night feeds but he was still waking at least every two hours and nothing but the boob would settle him. There is some crying involved with the programme but MUCH less than I expected when I read through it first and the difference in Thomas's sleeping has been fantastic. Now I know when he wakes during the night, it is because there is something wrong or he is genuinely hungry, rather than just relying on the boob to get him back to sleep. And he is so much happier now that he is sleeping better too. I think there is a money-back guarantee so you can't really lose!

Bumpontherun - welcome to you as well! I have found that it makes such a huge difference to me that Thomas can self-settle to sleep, it does make it easier for OH or someone else to settle him too as he isn't relying on boob to get him off to sleep, so it definitely makes me feel better about going out for an evening the odd time (not that I ever really do, LOL). Definitely it is fine to work on night-time sleep first, naps are harder but they do come together in the end and I find now that if I time naps right then Thomas will settle to sleep himself with at most a few minutes of moaning/whinging. Sometimes things still go wrong usually because I have let him get over-tired but on the whole things are so much better. I agree with Cattia that this thread is probably the best part of doing sleepsense, fantastic support from all the ladies on here!

Well my update:
I am wondering if we are hitting the six month growth spurt. The past two evenings Thomas has woken for a feed at about 9.30/10 which he never normally does as well as his regular night feed. He definitely seems hungry but very sleepy at that time too and hard to keep him awake to feed. He seems to be eating more during the day too and yesterday he wanted to sleep on the boob which he never normally wants to do anymore. I let him do it, was really enjoying the cuddles to be honest, but then he wouldn't settle in the cot for his next nap and I had to bring him out for a walk in the pram so that he got some sleep. I don't know if that was because I let him sleep on me or because he is unsettled anyway and that's why he wanted to fall asleep on me in the first place? The last time I let him fall asleep on me feeding it took him about half an hour to settle at bedtime which never happens so there definitely seems to be a link of some sort. I have a bit of a cold though so I was also wondering if he could be coming down with something but he seems absolutely fine in himself so I don't really know!

Other news is that we have started baby-led weaning! Off topic but it is just so exciting! Don't think he's actually swallowing much at the moment but definitely enjoying exploring the new textures and tastes. We both had porridge this morning - great fun - he managed really well with the pre-loaded spoon but also enjoyed getting stuck in with his hands!

 

[Poppy7]

Thank you all for your support and kind words. Last night I was up 5 times between 11pm and 5 am before I gave in and bought Elliott in with me. Bad habit I know but I was exhausted and my head hurt so much!! He then went until 7am and fed and then woke up at about 9am.

Today I'm going to try my hardest to read the SS book as I didn't have time last night (I bought it at about 10pm and couldn't keep my eyes open!).

I guess I just keep hoping for a good night as before we got ill he did a 6 hour stretch one night and an 8 hour stretch the following night. It never comes though.....

One question.....we have a busy week planned. Is this going to interrupt SS or do you only have to stay in when working on daytime naps?xx

 

[jacs]

Ooh how exciting Polaris! Sounds like it's a hit!
You could be onto the growth spurt. Watch out though - TG and I ended up with our LOs getting into a night feeding habit!

poppy7 - poor you! I'd say for the first week or so, try to keep everything the same in your LO's routine. If you've got something coming up, maybe postpone SS until after? Or you could just work on nights until then.