Sleep Sense Support Group!

[history_girls]

Hello and welcome new peops!

Our update - I was worried about naps at the weekend as she had been with the CM all week I thought she might have forgotton how to sleep at home. but bless my little angel she went down for each nap beautifully - made me very proud (mixed in with normal guilt of working now).

We have been sleeping through for almost a fortnight now but last 3 nights she has been waking at 4am. No reason and I think it is now habit! I've been a bit weak and given cuddles but last night OH took control, used a bit of SS - but didn't stay with her which is new for us. He went in settled her, then back to bed. Took 3 goes and no real crying just moaning and shouting for him to come back! She then went until 6.45.

I did gasp though last night when I went in first, she had turned 180 degress in her bed! I was so suprised to find her the wrong way up! She just giggled. Little whatsit!

I feel a bit crap today - got up as usual for work then bam a massive migraine appeared from nowhere. OH had to take LO, had to phone in sick on week two so feel rubbish. Been sick everywhere but at least CM has LO to give me a chance to get better.

Poppy 7 - we have a dummy for some nights but also we have gone completely cold turkey. It isn't that bad. I think i was more nervous about it than LO was missing it. After 4 days it wasn't a problem. We went back to occassional use when she was poorly and had really bad wind. She is quite good at letting us know if she wants it. She has to ask though! she asks by sucking frantically when put in her cot. If she doesn't do this she doesn#t get one. My LO used to only go back to sleep wrapped inside my dressing gown too (problem was I had to be in it too!). Sleepsense worked. Yes day 1 and 2 was absolutely awful but i now have a baby who sleeps through (well most of the time!).

Day 1 OH and I did together to ensure we did it all the same, then day 2 we did 20 min stints each. At night I think an hour was our longest and that was once. By day 5 no whinging at all. Make sure you have a clock you can see - five mins can feel like an hour when they are crying. But you are with them, talking and calming. So it isn;t abandonment.

Bumpontherun- same advice as above really. I did nighttimes first and still cuddled LO for naps during the day and it didn't seem to make it harder.

good luck!

 

[history_girls]

Sorry pointless post but I just made the 1000th post in SS support group! wow.

 

[TennisGal]

Welcome Poppy and Bumpontherun!

Poppy, you must be very tired DH and tried every prop going from projectors...to music...to slings!
As the others have said, there will be crying – but what we found with DD is that it was more frustrated crying rather than upset crying...she was struggling to learn how to get to sleep without lying on me or DH. We were with her the whole time...talking, stroking her head. So no abandonment – more annoyance at ‘how do I do this?’...it does click into place, and everyone in the family felt so much better, more energy for play etc (including DD)
I'd probably work on naps during a quieter week...but that's just my personal view...as they took quite a bit of time for us Night times were much easier.

Bumpontherun – We definitely went for night-times before naps...naps did take a lot longer to establish, but that was partly my fault for enjoying the naps on Mummy! We now have a mixture (in cot and on me/DH) and she’s fine with them all.
Lots of luck, too. Your routines sound v.good – and as the others say, consistency is the real key. For some reason, we kind of expected DD to go ‘oh, bedtime now’ without giving her any clear, consistent indications!

HG 1000th post bonus ripple coming your way (to save for when you feel better ) Hope you get well very soon, migraine is just horrible. I remember getting one when I came back from a holiday, I felt awful having to tell work I wasn't going to be in...the day after flying back! Don't worry, though, nothing to do except rest. Phoebe sounds like she is doing fabbbbbbulously well! What a star with her naps!! GET WELL *hands HG some painkillers and cup of tea, very quietly*

Polaris - the walk for meningitis sounds like an excellent cause.So glad weaning is going well!! Glad you are all enjoying it! DD has had a massive tuck in day today - right after me being concerned she wasn't eating enough solid - porridge, fruit, toast, purees and rice cakes. We got baby porridge...guilty confession here...because I love it SO much! Banana porridge, mmmmm! Mummy led weaning, or what!? We also have Daddy-led-weaning, as I caught him munching DDs Organic baby biccies (7 month birthday tea!) Good luck with the growth spurt, get lots of chocolate ready and waiting

Jacs - excellent news on the settling!! I wouldn't have been as brave to start it without encouragement from you and everyone on here, so thank you all!! DD is now on one feed a night, but she doesn't settle until she has it, so figured for the time being she needs it....and that's a-ok. No more multiple wakings, which is better for everyone! She also got back into the routine well, so relieved! Your new avatar pic of Evan is completely gorgeous, what a sweetie.

DD is SEVEN months today!

 

[TennisGal]

ps - all weaning ladies, I'm considering introducing 'weaning shower caps' for Mummy. I got pelted with orange food today! Again!

 

[history_girls]

Happy 7 month birthday!

Thanks for the painkillers, tea and the bonus ripple! I think my dad must have heard you as he popped in with choccie for when I was better (not a ripple but posh national trust stuff- real chunks). I also got the painkillers - migraine ones from my sister and have been out of bed for an hour. Just waiting for LO to be dropped off by my mum. Very excited but please she wasn't here today - I couldn't have managed as she has developed a very loud shout / scream noise that she likes to make at anything and everything.Plus the dog is getting resentful as being used as a Phoebe entertainment system so he wouldn't have helped.

Fingers crossed she slept at the CM today or else it will be tea, a bath to wash the food out of her hair (her favourite place for it) and to bed.

 

[Poppy7]

Help ladies I can't do this.

LO was tired so I put him down for a nap. He usually self settles at nap times but he was a little bit fussy. He cried for 10 minutes, the whole time I was with him, reassuring him etc and yes, he did eventually go to sleep.

After the "magic 30 minutes" he woke up and I could tell he was tired so thought I would see if he would resettle on his own. He didn't have his dummy as he had spat it out whilst he was asleep. I thought I should start as I mean to go on and didn't give it to him.....15 minutes later he was still crying. Every now and then he would ease off only to go in to full blown crying again. So, I gave him his dummy....10 more minutes of crying and I gave in. I just can't hear him cry. I am sat here crying myself. He was sobbing and sweating when I picked him up. It was so sad to see.

If I can't do this now how on earth am I going to do it in the middle of the night?

I may have wasted £30 but it was all done with good intentions.

He swallowed so much air when crying he has sat here belching for the last 5 minutes. He is yawning so I know he needed to sleep more.

I just can't listen to him cry...HELP

 

[TennisGal]

Poppy

We ended up introducing naps a bit after night time - I think night times generally tend to be easier, so do take a bit of heart in that. I couldn't cope with naps at first, either...DD got upset, I got upset...horrible. She was VERY used to napping on me or DH, so she didn't settle into new napping routine v.quickly. I found once she was in a good night time routine, naps came a bit more easily (and she still has a nap on me!)

When you do it in the evening, make sure you have some help - DH and I did it together, and it really helps. DD shouted more than cried at night time...but she quickly got into the routine. It really helps being able to stroke their little heads, whisper to them. How does Elliot respond to PU/PD? DD hates it - but it really can help babies who like it.

DD has her thumb for comfort - if having his dummy removed is causing lots of distress, maybe let him keep it? I know it's not in the literature...but I've tweaked it lots.

HG - hope those pain killers continue to work...and that you enjoy the choccie. Mmmm, proper big chunks! What is it with LOs styling their hair (and ours!) with food?! DD always has chunks of all sorts hidden in her locks, lol.
Boy-cat is also similarly wary of being DDs favourite source of entertainment...but he's still purring, bless him!

We've had a lovely 7 month!

 

[history_girls]

redpoppy - don't give up! I did and then came back to SS two weeks later. Naps are a lot harder than bedtime as they happen at different times and not wuth the bedtime routine before them. There is crying but think if you can get to day 3 big improvements at night should happen. 3 days isn't that long, keep an eye on the clock it might not be as long as it feels - especially in the middle of the night.

My lo hates pu/pd but likes her head stroked (but not too much or that becomes a prop!). Maybe your LO might like to be left for a min, then go back. Or you could try sushing or a sleepy phrase.

If my LO ever go so distraught I would give up and go back to her favourite method of napping or sleeping. Some cries are different to just moaning or cross.

He has to learn the new way of doing things and it is going to take him a while. Give him a chance - they say it takes about 3 days for a baby to pick up on a new routine.

TG - I had sheperds pie in my hair this evening and the dog got a splat on his back (very cross he couldn't reach it). Pain killers are wearing off but got to practice interview OH for job on wednesday. so if anyone has any killer interview questions I'd be glad to know them!

 

[polaris]

TennisGal - happy 7 month birthday to DD! Hope you had a lovely day, how can you go wrong with celebratory banana porridge and baby biccies!

Historygirls - hope you are feeling better. I don't cope well with even mild headaches so I really really feel for migraine sufferers. It really sounds like Phoebe is doing so well, she sounds like a little star.

Poppy7 I agree with everything TennisGal said. Even though it seems like it will be harder in the middle of the night, actually it tends to be easier because LO is more tired and more ready for sleep, they do naturally want to sleep in the nighttime so it tends to fall into place quicker. It might be worth working on settling without the dummy at bedtime first and keeping the dummy for naps for the time being. Actually I think that Dana actually suggests that you can use the dummy to extend a short nap (I could be imagining that but I seem to remember seeing that somewhere). Honestly nights are MUCH easier than naps, I would say if you are finding it very stressful then just work on night-times first and once he is settling well at bedtime/during the night it will be a bit easier to work on naps.

Jacs - I'll definitely bear that in mind about the night-feeding habit. We had a busy day today and Thomas was only taking very quick feeds because he didn't want to miss anything that was going on while he was feeding. What's the bets that he wants to make up for it tonight? Still I'm just going to go with the flow for the moment I think, at least I know what to do if it does develop into an issue down the line.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

 

[Poppy7]

Thanks everyone

I have just put Elliott to bed. We already have a solid bedtime routine so he knows that sleep is at the end of it. He settles very well at this time of the day. I have put him down awake with his dummy (sorry) but he's still over tired from earlier and don't want to upset him too much. My biggest problem is the excessive night waking. I will see how tonight goes. I figure if I can get him to settle tonight when he wakes, even if that is with the dummy, it's a step better than how it normally is (normally only my bb or the dressing gown + dummy works).

PU/PD has never worked for us in the past. It frustrates him too much. I think I'll try talking and stroking to reassure him.

In the time taken to write this post he is asleep. I just wish he would stay asleep all night or for atleast 3-4 hours.

On a lighter note....Tennisgal...happy 7 months!xx

 

[TennisGal]

DH was very disappointed with the biscuits - he'd forgotten they aren't sweet...and 'milk and vanilla organic cookies' had got his taste buds ready. They basically taste of not very much to an adult palate! She had a wonderful dinner...carrot puree, pear and apple cooked in cinammon and BM, some roasted courgette, pepper and a bit of pasta. Oh, and an infamous baby biccie (most of which she threw around the place...)

We've just had bath, BF and 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar'

P - how was weaning today? Yes, I think looking back at this thread now...I can see when the actual growth spurt came to an end...and when habit took over, lol

HG - Boy-cat has ended up with many a splat, too. Nothing funnier than seeing a cat in a 'errr, I'm a cat - I don't do being embarrassed' moment! Haha. Good luck with the interviewing...I can't remember much about my interviews, except having to talk at length about previous employment and projects!

 

[TennisGal]

Poppy - definitely use the dummy if he needs it I'd face outrage of epic proportion if I stopped DD thumb sucking! Let us know how you get on...

 

[Bumpontherun]

Hi everyone, thanks for the warm welcomes. Well we are starting! DD is in het cot, has been grumbling for 3 mins and these are gradually becoming more high pitched. I have been feeling sick all evening dreading this and my hands are actually shaking but I am determined to go through with it. DH and I agreed that too much interaction would be overstimulating so I am mainly looking at my I phone and doing occasional long ssshhh and tummy rubs. Cries are escalating now. This is awful.......

 

[polaris]

Hi everyone, thanks for the warm welcomes. Well we are starting! DD is in het cot, has been grumbling for 3 mins and these are gradually becoming more high pitched. I have been feeling sick all evening dreading this and my hands are actually shaking but I am determined to go through with it. DH and I agreed that too much interaction would be overstimulating so I am mainly looking at my I phone and doing occasional long ssshhh and tummy rubs. Cries are escalating now. This is awful.......

It is so so hard to listen to them crying - but it is a really important skill that you are teaching her and she will be able to sleep much better as a result. It's not always going to be possible for her to feed to sleep so you are doing the right thing giving her the chance to learn how to self-settle. She will cry and protest because she doesn't know how to get to sleep this way and she thinks she needs your boob in order to get to sleep - but she WILL find ways to soothe herself, hopefully it won't take her too long. Do you have a clock next to you, I found that I had to just watch the second hand going round because the time can seem so much longer than it actually is. Tonight is probably going to be the hardest that it will be, so do stick with it. I really do believe that my LO is so much happier now that he knows how to settle himself to sleep.

 

[history_girls]

Bumpontherun - I used to take a puzzler with me! That way I had something to look at and distract me!

Stick with it - remember if you give in after 20 mins then as Dana says, there is no point starting! It is just being mean to let them cry for 20 min then give in - however you know your baby and when it is hysterical maybe rethink it. Give him a chance he will get there. Worth it in the long run

 

[Poppy7]

Poppy - definitely use the dummy if he needs it I'd face outrage of epic proportion if I stopped DD thumb sucking! Let us know how you get on...

Will do Lately he has taken to waking about an hour or 2 after being put to sleep. Then he usually has a fairly good 2 - 2 1/2 hour stretch to 1 am and then......the fun starts.......I'm feeling quite nervous about tonight.

 

[Bumpontherun]

Hi everyone, thanks for the warm welcomes. Well we are starting! DD is in het cot, has been grumbling for 3 mins and these are gradually becoming more high pitched. I have been feeling sick all evening dreading this and my hands are actually shaking but I am determined to go through with it. DH and I agreed that too much interaction would be overstimulating so I am mainly looking at my I phone and doing occasional long ssshhh and tummy rubs. Cries are escalating now. This is awful.......

It is so so hard to listen to them crying - but it is a really important skill that you are teaching her and she will be able to sleep much better as a result. It's not always going to be possible for her to feed to sleep so you are doing the right thing giving her the chance to learn how to self-settle. She will cry and protest because she doesn't know how to get to sleep this way and she thinks she needs your boob in order to get to sleep - but she WILL find ways to soothe herself, hopefully it won't take her too long. Do you have a clock next to you, I found that I had to just watch the second hand going round because the time can seem so much longer than it actually is. Tonight is probably going to be the hardest that it will be, so do stick with it. I really do believe that my LO is so much happier now that he knows how to settle himself to sleep.

Thanks, DH has taken over now after 20mins. I am in living room with TV on but can still hear the odd shriek. In a way this is worse as I now feel bad because he is suffering too. He has been less keen on sleep training than me and I think is only really going along with this because I said I couldn't cope anymore. I feel terrible that he is suffering too.

It's been so good having read all your previous posts, I know that this has worked for all you ladies and hearing about how happy your LO's are and how their weaning is coming along makes me know that this will work and she will still love me in the morning.

 

[Poppy7]

Hi everyone, thanks for the warm welcomes. Well we are starting! DD is in het cot, has been grumbling for 3 mins and these are gradually becoming more high pitched. I have been feeling sick all evening dreading this and my hands are actually shaking but I am determined to go through with it. DH and I agreed that too much interaction would be overstimulating so I am mainly looking at my I phone and doing occasional long ssshhh and tummy rubs. Cries are escalating now. This is awful.......

You are being so brave. I hope I can do as well tonight if DS wakes up. I usualy play on my iPod during night wakings/feeds. Tonight I shall be using it to distract me if he gets upset. OH is away in Spain so I thought this would be a good week to do it as we won't be disturbing him as he has to work the next day. Now I'm not so sure....

 

[Poppy7]

makes me know that this will work and she will still love me in the morning.

That was/is my exact worry too!

 

[history_girls]

Bumponthe run - of course she will love you in the morning! I abandon mine to a CM 5 days a week and she still loves me.

poppy7 - you can do it to - imagine how proud your OH will be when you and LO show off your new sleeping talents in a weeks time!