Sleepless Nights Support Thread

[greats]

Thanks Noelle, I really thought it was getting better for a few days but its just gotten worse!! Doing my best to get her to sleep just now but she is fighting it!

We are going through the same thing since 3.5 months plus now she's teething and not eating much because of the teething and being more aware of her surroundings, it has been a nightmare for us. Last night it took my dh 3 hrs to get lo to sleep and she woke every hour after that. I honestly see no end in sight to this madness.

 

[gaiagirl]

I'm so with you ladies! 18 weeks old here and we are still dealing with it. Luckily he's not too tough to put to sleep, and his first deep stretch of the night is ok. And by ok I mean 3-5 hours, but from 1-5am it's hourly and restlessness and thrashing around...and we bedshare so it's annoying. Can't wait for it to pass!!!! I'm dreaming of my 5-3-2 stretches with quick little wake ups...

 

[gaiagirl]

One thing that's kinda stressing me out though is that I read somewhere that babies who stop sleeping around 4 months never go back unless you change their patterns. Granted it was a site that was trying to sell a sleep training program, BUT he is nursed to sleep 90% of the time and I guess I'm worrying that until he isn't this won't end!?!? It's so easy and intuitive and it's worked so well the past 4 months, so I have no issues with it but I guess now I'm second guessing myself and worrying that it's not a good idea!?!

I hate the guilt/worry/doubt that comes along with motherhood and this is such a big one. I keep hearing he should be 'learning to self soothe' and sometimes he does (rarely since 16 weeks hit) but for the most part he doesn't seem developmentally ready!

Do you ladies nurse/feed to sleep?

 

[girl friday]

We do a variety of things: feed, rock, cuddle, he's even self settled at times. It doesn't make any difference to the length of time he sleeps.

 

[Noelle610]

The 4 month sleep regression IS a permanent change in the way a baby sleeps, so in that respect the site is correct. However, most babies kind of get used to the new way of sleeping. You do hear about those babies that never recover from the 4 month sleep regression and I personally think they're babies who have very strong sleep associations - rocking, feeding, etc to sleep. Whether you view these are positive like Dr. Sears or negative like Dr. Ferber really determines how you respond. You can wait until they grow out of it - which they always do, eventually, though it can be years - or you can sleep train (gentle versions or more CIO versions). I do think that sleep experts and recent literature have made parents a bit too afraid of sleep assocaitions. I rocked/fed my daughter to sleep until she was about 4 or 5 months old and she did grow out of it on her own. I think this experience is actually more common than it's made out to be.

 

[anne.hopeful]

My lo is still fed to sleep most of the time at night!....sometimes oh rocks her to sleep. I also have the guilty feelings about her not self settling yet but have not been brave enough to attempt CC as yet. She is nearly 8 months and we still go for a walk every day so she has a nap in the morning. only just starting to get her to sleep in her cot in the afternoons...and its still 3 x 45 mins a day! But overnight sleep is slowly improving. (Despite two very rocky nights recently due to first teeth making an appearance. God help us if its the same for each one coming through!)

 

[gaiagirl]

Yah, it's a tough call. I just wish there was a magic way to find out when he will grow out of this so I can stop worrying! He CAN fall asleep without nursing but he really prefers it and sometimes he won't sleep without nursing. I think he has a pretty strong association with it. I guess I'll wait awhile longer before deciding whether to change our routine and intervene.

Nap wise he is usually awesome and just finished a 2 hour nap in his crib, so I know he can self settle between sleep cycles in that kind of situation. Wish he would do the same at 2, 3, 4 am!

 

[Rodnabell]

Jo ... when did yours start sleeping and how? I refuse to let my son cry it out, but at the age of 17 months I'm running out of patience! It's very clear he thinks he needs us there with him and we've tried EVERYTHING but leaving him to cry. There r so many reasons why I won't do this but we're running out of ideas and marbles!!

 

[lauraemily17]

My Lo was nursed or rocked to sleep until 7 months and 99% of the attempts before at getting him to self settle failed miserably. Then suddenly at 7 months he started self settling and after a week if doing it on and off he now does it all the time. So much so he won't sleep on anyone anymore and smiles when I put him in his cot at nap time!! I think every baby will self settling but only when they are ready.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Gaiagirl - everyone is different but I subscribe to the theory that between 4-6 months of age is the perfect window opportunity to eliminate sleep associations (like nursing to sleep, pacifier, rocking,...). Based on what I see from my friends and family with babies/kids, past 6 months most had difficulties breaking sleep associations. So either they did CIO or just sucked it up till their kids were 2-3 years old.

I didn't want that to be us so that's why we did gentle sleep training to eliminate sleep "crutches" wirh my LO at 4 months and now she's a good sleeper. Of course she's a baby so she as her off days/nights but we are happy with how we helped her sleep better at the stage we did

 

[gaiagirl]

Thanks ladies. I do try to get him self settling when he's willing (it's happened like 5 times total). I give him opportunities to all the time, but MOST of the time it just leads to frustration for both of us. I am willing to have him fuss a little with me present, but not cry alone unattended.

Shadowy what methods did you use? The whole shush pat thing reeeaaalllly doesn't work for him! Putting him down very drowsy with the fisher price aquarium and a soother had worked and stroking his head but really, why not just nurse if I'm doing THAT much anyways! Hahah

 

[lauraemily17]

I'd really recommend reading the no cry sleep solution book. There's lots of tips of things to use to help babies self settle. We introduced a teddy, nap time blanket and said exactly the same thing to him everytime we put him down. The teddy in particular worked brilliantly.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Gaiagirl - we tried first shush/pat as well as the No Cry Sleep Solution. Neither of which worked for us and she only cried more in the end. We ended up using the sleep association chapter in Ferber's book "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem". Now Ferber gets a bad rep on this site but his method worked wonders for us. It took 2 nights, she didn't cry much and has never since cried before sleeping or in the middle of the night. If you do decide to use Ferber, please actually read the book or pm me and I will explain it to you.

I was planing on using the night weaning chapter for her 2 weeks ago (once she was 6 months) as well but she stopped wanting to eat in the middle of the night by herself. She wakes up sometimes at 5 am or so coz she has pooped (damn you solids) but she goes right back down till 8 am. Most nights she just sleeps through 12 hours so...I mean she probably does wakes up, but she has learned to put herself to sleep without needing anyone's help

 

[gaiagirl]

Thanks! We have lots of sleep associations in the works. But I'm sure none of them are as strong as nursing for him. I think I'll worry more about it when he's a bit older, as he's pretty young to be stressing about it (for me anyways). If anything, the first step for us is to decide on when to get him sleeping at night in his room. I was ready to start the transition until he started waking so much and now it feels like it would be torture to get out of bed that much! My only saving grace is that the wakings are short and I don't have to get up!

 

[takecarebaby]

I just found out about a monitor that provides child's heart rate and oxygen levels in real time. It uses the latest technologies and we will know all this from our phones just search on google for the Owlet Baby Monitor

 

[girl friday]

DS2 had woken literally every 10 mins tonight. Really don't know what to do. He's had a bottle of expressed milk as well as almost constant breast feeding. He's been rocked in his crib, cuddled, we've added layers, removed layers, he's got sudocream on his bottom as it's a little sore, we've tried calpol, daddy had tried settling as well as me. Just completely at a loss.

 

[gaiagirl]

Do you bedshare? If not, maybe tonight is a night for that anyways...

 

[girl friday]

Part time, I bring him in when I'm too tired to sit up and resettle him, it doesn't always help him sleep though.

 

[Dana23]

My 6 mo little girl is a reluctant and light sleeper at nap time and
night time. She doesn't like to be swaddled but can't get to sleep if
she isn't swaddled. So going to sleep often involves hours of rocking
a crying baby. Once asleep, she wakes often and is again difficult to
get back to sleep. We have used tylenol to soothe any teething pain,
she is well fed with cereal and breast milk and we have a bedtime
routine of bathtime, nursing then bedtime. Over all, she is a very
happy and healthy baby...just not when it comes to sleeping.

 

[brieri1]

We have to let our little girl cry a little on her own. She will only sleep about half an hour if we let her sleep on us and if we try to put her down, she will wake up instantly. But if we let her cry herself to sleep, never more than 15 minutes which won't hurt her, she'll sleep most of the night before waking for a feed and naps so long I usually have to wake her up to eat. You just gotta figure out what works for your kid and forget what other people say.