Sleepless Nights Support Thread

[ZumbaMummy]

I am so glad I am not the only person with a little one that isnt sleeping well. We had her sleeping through 10hrs a night when we were living with my mother in law and now that we have moved into our own house she sleeps for maybe 4hrs at a time if I am REALLY lucky!! I have been upstairs to her 3times already this evening!!

 

[Dana23]

I am so glad I am not the only person with a little one that isnt sleeping well. We had her sleeping through 10hrs a night when we were living with my mother in law and now that we have moved into our own house she sleeps for maybe 4hrs at a time if I am REALLY lucky!! I have been upstairs to her 3times already this evening!!

Yup. You're not alone. I think brieri1 is onto something. You just have to figure out what works for you and go with it. Problem is, that by the time you figure it out, the baby may have already grown out of the not sleeping stage...which is probably all that would have helped in the first place.

 

[Dana23]

Thanks brieri1. We're working on figuring what works for us. Hopefully we find out exactly what that is sooner rather than later. We'll probably head to the clinic to see if there isn't a problem we're overlooking.

 

[Casper72]

I've been eyeing this thread for a while hoping I'd finally get some sleep and not feel the need to post, but I give. LO wins. Mommy is destroyed. After 5.5 weeks with you in the NICU, and now 2.5 months with you at home and no more than 3 hours of sleep at a time and most nights 3 hours is all I get before I have to get up for work, you win. You have broken mommy down. I have no more to give. I am beyond exhausted and the only thing I can muster up the energy for now is crying. I look in the mirror and all I see is a zombie-eyed person who doesn't even look like me. I can't carry on like this much longer. I'm going to lose my mind. Please sleep through the night soon.

 

[gaiagirl]

Awwww Casper that sounds horrible! 3 hours and then going to work! I feel for all you ladies who don't get proper mat leave (I'm in Canada) that must be soooo hard!

What time is LO going to bed and how are naps?

 

[Casper72]

He goes down at night anywhere from 8-10. The first time he goes down is usually when I get my 3 hour block of sleep. After that I get 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there until I have to get up at 3:45am for work. Daytime naps are hit and miss. He was taking 2-3 long ones, but recently he has been cat napping for 20-30 mins at a time and that's what is killing both me and dad. Broken sleep at night coupled with no decent naps during the day is awful for all of us.

 

[gaiagirl]

And he's how many weeks? Not corrected. Based on due date? My LO started waking way more and napping worse around 16 weeks and at 20 it's still hit or miss. Apparently 4/5 months is a very tough time for sleep (for some babies).

10-20 minutes is horrendous though, that is not sustainable for your mental health! Is he sleeping in his own bed? If so I would try bedsharing, at this point all three of you need more sleep. If you're not willing to try that, is he swaddled? White noise?

 

[gaiagirl]

Also is he getting up at 3:45 for the day? If so...I hate to say because maybe that evening time is when you get to see him, but he probably needs to go to be much earlier. Most babies need 10-12 hours of sleep at night. Especially if naps aren't going well...

 

[Casper72]

He was born Dec 7th 10 weeks early so that makes him about 3.5 months, or 6 weeks corrected. He doesn't always wake up at 3:45 for the day sometimes dad gets a couple more hours of sleep out of him. He sleeps either in a bassinet in our room, or sometimes I fall to sleep with him in bed nursing. I TRY my hardest not to, but I'm so exhausted that it does happen sometimes. I get better sleep when he's in his bassinet though. He's a very noisy sleeper, he's got the preemie grunt and makes a host of other noises during the night as well. He's so loud that it wakes me up several times a night.

 

[Casper72]

I tried to put him down earlier last night. I could tell he was tired and fighting it. The only way he would fall asleep is with me holding him standing, rocking and swaying. When I tried to sit down, his eyes popped open and there we were starting the whole process all over again. He eventually did fall asleep around 9 in his bassinet. Then woke at 12:30. I nursed him and didn't get back to sleep until 2 then woke about 10x from then until the time I had to get up for work. My eyes are bloodshot and red, my head is killing me and I've been falling asleep at my desk all day long. I started back to work March 4th and this is how it's been ever since. I feel drunk all the time from lack of sleep.

 

[Noelle610]

Oh Casper,

How long is LO awake during the day before you put him down? At his age, I'd do no more than 90 minutes at a time - and that often means starting the soothing process at 60 minutes. Overtired babies fight sleep!

I'd also recommend an earlier bedtime and a bedtime routine, if you don't already have one.

At night, swaddling, dark room and loud white noise really helps.

Here's a good link:

https://www.troublesometots.com/are-you-making-these-baby-sleep-mistakes/

Also, take care of yourself. I went back to work when LO was 12 weeks old and shortly after she hit the 4 month sleep regression! So I know what tired feels like. You MUST go to bed when he does, even if it's 6pm. Chores can wait. You can have an adult bedtime next year. Eat well - lots of protein helps. Get some moderate exercise (walking, yoga) which will improve your energy level. Drink lots of water. Remind yourself that it's not forever. It's a phase. Read this when you're really down:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-gebhart-uhl/phases-moments-parenting_b_1651288.html

You WILL get through this and it WILL get better!

 

[gaiagirl]

Looooooove that phases article! Thx

 

[Dana23]

We did a night of cry it out (check and console every 5 mins). It was tough, but the second night she cried half as long and half as many times. Casper, good luck. It's a tough road for all of us at one time or another, but it will get better.

 

[hope79]

COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE....this is my life. My 7 month has only slept through the night twice since she was born. Pretty much her schedule is to nap roughly twice, maybe 3 times during the day for about 45 minutes to an hour. At night Rayne goes down between 7:45 and 8:30. At that point she sleeps until roughly midnight. Then the fun begins. She's up at 2:00am, 3:30, 4:45am, and 6:00am. That's the hard part. She will usually eat, though sometimes I just try to rock her back to sleep. I slept horribly while pregnant with her so I'm sad to say that I'm actually used to this sleep pattern. It doesn't wear on me horribly, but I'd be lying if I said I don't envy those whose kids are sleeping through the night.

 

[MommaAlexis]

I just switched Lara into her own room and weaned her off of swaddling/woombie and her sleeping is SO much better. Back to only waking up once at night! I think my snoring + woombie was starting to actually wake her up! She moves less and wakes up less without it now. Glad she self-weaned! Next stop, losing the soother. oh dear my kill me!

 

[mommy2be1003]

I'm so exhausted.. I feel like I have a newborn, except for when Cassidy was a newborn she woke every 3-4 hour stretches and the. From 6 weeks to a little over 3 months she slept 8-11 hour stretches since then she's up 3-8 times at night and I'm at my wits end. I've kinda tries crying it out but I don't know the proper way to do it and when I go in there it just makes her scream harder and I just give in because I just wanna go back to bed. I really think I may need to start following through with cry it out.. She's 8 months old and I know she doesn't need to nurse 2 or more times at night and shouldn't be waking so frequently. She always falls asleep on her own before bed and naps but just cannot go back to sleep in the middle of the night. I'm in tears and don't know what to do

 

[gaiagirl]

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed My LO wakes anywhere from 4-6 times a night and has since 16 weeks. It's very normal for babies to nurse 1-2 times a night up to a year, some don't need to but others do.

We part time bedshare and it really really saves my sanity. LO naps in his crib and goes to bed in the evening there, so I get some down time. But by midnight he comes into bed and then stays there. I am able to nurse him lying down and so our wake ups are very short and I barely even remember them.

Is that something you could try?

 

[MouseyMom]

Hi all you mommies!!

So my DS just turned 4 months and I keep hearing about sleep training. I keep hearing different stories about how much a baby sleeps (12 hours) to how much they ACTUALLY sleep (6 hour stretches).

I believe my DS is "okay" with sleeping and just wanted to see what other mommies are dealing with when it comes to this subject.

DS is formula fed. He was 8lb 10oz at birth and is currently around 18.5lb and is starting to fit into 12 month clothing.

He usually eats about 7 1/2 oz every 2 1/2 to 3 hours during the day and takes 3 naps. Morning nap, noon nap, and a late afternoon nap and amazingly they are at the same time everyday with no fighting.

Here is DS schedule...

3pm-Has a bottle and we started Gerber Stage 1 foods...he'll eat a quarter to half of the container (he'd probably eat the whole container if I let him)

6pm-Bedtime...usually he's had a bottle a little bit before this and then starts to get cranky.

He'll sleep until 9 or 10pm and wakes up to eat. He won't open his eyes AT ALL but he goes to town on his bottle. I usually will put about 5 tsp of cereal in it (not sure if it works but it did help back on his schedule when he started waking up every 3 hours.)

He'll go right back to bed and fall asleep in less than a minute.

He then wakes up usually around 2 or 3am for a change and a bottle. Still totally zonked out. He's started eating less and for the past two nights, he's only eaten 4oz without cereal and will still go back to sleep.

He'll usually wake up for the day around 7-8am. I'm already up since I have a 7 year old special needs and we have therapy and school for her.

Is DS pretty much putting himself on a schedule where he's slowly weaning himself? I don't think it's a bad schedule but I keep hearing different stories. I admit, I jump up the minute he cries. I want him to know that Mommy will comfort him but I also want him to be independent and learn to self soothe at some point. I never let him cry more than 5-10 minutes. Even less if it is actually crying/screaming...I don't think it's fair to leave him feeling like that.

DH and I are wanting to TTC for #3 in the next few months and I know I will need the extra sleep. Any thoughts or suggestions?

 

[Noelle610]

2 night feeds at 4 months? I'd say that's well within the normal range I'd discourage you from putting cereal in his bottle though - it's not recommended as it can be a choking hazzard.

I think at 4 months old, immediately responding to him is totally appropriate. He may give up those feeds by himself and he may not, but when the time comes there are gentle ways to encourage him to do so. You don't necessarily have to do cry it out.

Many babies will have one night feed until a year old. Some sleep through at 6 weeks and others will wake for quite some time. I don't really think it relates to size, but more to metabolism, which is impossible to gage really. If he eats and goes back to sleep, he's doing great! It also sounds like his daytime schedule is working really well for him.

 

[MouseyMom]

2 night feeds at 4 months? I'd say that's well within the normal range I'd discourage you from putting cereal in his bottle though - it's not recommended as it can be a choking hazzard.

I think at 4 months old, immediately responding to him is totally appropriate. He may give up those feeds by himself and he may not, but when the time comes there are gentle ways to encourage him to do so. You don't necessarily have to do cry it out.

Many babies will have one night feed until a year old. Some sleep through at 6 weeks and others will wake for quite some time. I don't really think it relates to size, but more to metabolism, which is impossible to gage really. If he eats and goes back to sleep, he's doing great! It also sounds like his daytime schedule is working really well for him.

Well I feel happy to know that it's totally normal. People keep asking "He still isn't sleeping through the night??" I even had his pediatrician ask me that today! Yes, interrupted sleep is not very good sleep but I really can't complain since he goes back down immediately. The pediatrician told me to just let him cry it out for a half hour.

Um. No. Yes, I'll let DS fuss for a few minutes, 10 minutes tops. But if he is full blown crying, I pick him up immediately. Something is obviously wrong, let it be wet, gassy, or just wanting attention. You just can't say no to that face.

We're going to try a few other options to see what happens. I am going to quit the cereal in bottle. (It wasn't even my idea but people kept telling me to do it so I thought I'd give it a shot) I'm going to try and feed him a little extra food around bedtime and try and keep him up a little later. I had DH go and get overnight diapers for him because DS also wakes up SOAKED! And let me tell you...trying to change a fussy baby who at 2 am is not very easy and all of you know already.

I enjoy getting up with him honestly. It's our bonding time when everyone else is snoozing away.