Sleepless Nights Support Thread

[Deethehippy]

Erin..what do you do when little one wakes?

I am wondering if he likes your attention because he cant be hungry every 20 minutes?
I had to do the cry it out method at around that age with my twins because they were doing the same but at different times because there was two of them and i was feeling so ill from exhaustion and so irritable towards people in the day, it was dreadful and i feel your pain.
It's hard to do the cry it out thing but it took us just two days and since then they have both slept through except when ill or some specific reason which of course we don't mind.
When your son starts to cry and wake go into his room but stand away from the cot and speak to him comfortingly, DO NOT pick him up though. Some mums like to rub their backs without picking them up but we chose to just speak soothingly.
One of my girls screamed for about 20 minutes before giving up (i was crying which she cried, it was so hard) and the other lasted even longer, i can't remember how long but it seems an eternity when you are 'ignoring' them. Just keep speaking quietly and soothingly if you can.
Once he falls asleep leave the room and go to bed, each time he cries do the same thing...in theory if he knows he wont get picked up or fed he will learn to stop waking but could take a few days.
I think by talking to him he knows you are there and have no abandoned him but he learns hes not going to get picked up in the night etc

Wishing the very best of luck

 

[misspriss]

We have hit the 8/9 month sleep regression.

I feel kind of bad complaining, because LO has been an angel sleeper for the most part of 9 months. We completely skipped the 4 month regression. In fact, he is not too bad, he does sleep most of the night. I just don't.

We cosleep. He went from a non-moving deep sleeper, to the squirmiest, lightest sleeper you have ever seen. He now rolls, tosses, turns, kicks, talks, whines, all in his sleep. Try and move him to the side-car crib, and POP goes his little head, all bright eyed and awake. He is also having some kind of mild half-nursing strike, so he won't be settled with nursing either.

I am thinking about no longer trying to feed him when he fusses (since he won't take it anyway) and cutting out a night feed. Last night, after he kept me awake from 3-4 (after keeping me up from 10-12), I finally got up, swaddled him and rocked him in the rocking chair for 30 minutes. He spent the rest of the night/morning in the swing.

I'm just frustrated, I work full time and the sleep deprivation, even just a couple nights, makes work miserable since I have to come home and cook dinner and take care of LO by myself since DH will be gone at work all night.

 

[libbyam2003]

Misspriss, I can relate!! I work full-time and when my alarm goes off at 5am, I heave myself out of bed and head straight for the coffee pot! My lo has never been a good sleeper... I sleep trained his older sister and had her cry it out, etc... and cut out her night feeds by 6 months old. I have been trying a softer approach this time and it nice for lo but not for me! Trying to move away from sleeping in my bed or in co sleeper, but he and I both end up getting less sleep when he's in his crib. He'll cry louder before I'm able to get him.. and then I'm out of bed so more awake too. He'll calm right down when I pick him up, but cry if I put him back down, eyes still closed! Gah!

I don't mind co-sleeping, but I was thinking it would be easier to cut out some of the night feeds (3 times a night) if he was farther away from my scent? So far, nope! I guess this weekend I will try the soothing talk without going and picking him up. But he'll cry so loud that he can't HEAR me, so not thinking that will work.

 

[misspriss]

I think he has dropped a night feed anyway, I don't really notice in my sleep but I think he is down to 2x per night instead of 3 lately, and then last night it was really just once early on.

I hate the idea of it though, because he hardly eats any food yet (ped is fine with this considering he is preemie and we keep trying) and hasn't increased his daytime milk intake, so I hate for him to drop a nighttime feed even once. But he went from being inches away from my boob all night to rolling around and starfishing out all over the bed (he takes up a lot of room)!

I am going to buy me some warm pjs and lose the 'below the waist' covers tonight, they seem to annoy/distract him.

 

[libbyam2003]

Oh I hope my lo drops a night feed too then by 9 months! I'd be ok with 2x a night. It's happened a couple times and it was grand... although I was co-sleeping and that was back when he'd always go right back to sleep after nursing. Trying to get him to sleep in his crib some is hard.

I've introduced foods this month. Hasn't made him want less milk. Although nursing makes it hard to tell how much he's getting, same number of feeds. Hmm. Since I have to pump while I'm at work, lo needing MORE milk during the day would be bad in my case!! I have heard our milk changes... so they don't need more later because it will have more calories or fat or something in it to meet the new needs of the baby as he or she ages. But can't vouch for that... just what I've heard.

Let us know if the pjs help!! I usually have on a tshirt and that hasn't stopped him from waking. I am going to try a nursing strike maybe... well ok no... but maybe cut back... seems like folks say to just start offering watered down milk at night instead, but hard when nursing! And I am not wanting to cut out all night feeds if it will hurt my supply! Ughh

 

[misspriss]

Thats the thing, I know my milk changes, but he should be taking less! And my LO is so small, he's only 15lbs. He is in the .27%-tile for weight. I hate for him to lose any, you know?

He's fine, I mean for me! He has plenty of PJs and usually just his feet have covers, about to my waist. However, he kicks around now and tries to get out from under them, and then sometimes reaches down to try and play with it.

 

[libbyam2003]

Oh he is small, I gotcha. Yeah you want him gaining!

Yeah I have the same covers situation... up to my waist. But I push them down more when lo is in bed because I worry. So I pull them up behind me because I get cold! I don't think my lo cares either way... but I sleep better when I know he doesn't have anything on him. I'm a worrier I guess!

 

[misspriss]

Same here, pull up back. Until he started tossing about, I kept an arm around his waist all night, keeping the covers at bay.

I think this may be another reason I am not sleeping well while he is sleeping restlessly, I worry about him getting under something.

 

[mercedybear]

my 4.5 month old sleeps from 10pm-6am BUT she raises and drops her legs starting at 2am and off and on till 5am!! I CANT SLEEP, because all I hear is "thump"!!!!! Its too early to move her to her own room and she doesnt "wake", I keep getting up to give her her soother..4 hrs sleep a night isnt cutting it for me!

 

[misspriss]

Well, after one night (the night before last) of decent sleep, LO was at it again tonight. I swear, 3 am on the DOT. Finally got him back down by 5, only to wake me back up at 5:30 - but I swaddled him and he drifted right back to sleep and slept in his swing until 7, then I had to leave for work.

Poor guy. He's got a cold too.

 

[twobecome3]

im in the same boat misspriss - lo used to sleep like a log now shes all over the bed. she actually sleep-crawled off the bed the other nite - i woke up to a cry from the floor! im getting less sleep now tgen when she was a newborn! she also has been waking at the dreaded 3 am

no room for her crib here, but we are moving to a bigger place in March. i had originally planned on cosleeping and skipping the crib stage and go8ng straight to a 'big girl' bed, but dont think thats going to pan out. when we move the cribs getting set up - it makes me sad thinking about it - but i just cant sleepnow that shes on the move. we're constantly waking eachother up :/

 

[lou belle]

Hey im a new mom, DD is 2 weeks. Struggling already which is pathetic i know in comparison to some of you! she seems to sleep n settle so much better fr OH than fr me. Im ebf her so its round the clock. She currently has a cold nd is really irritable. Shes sleeping fr about 10/20mins at a time then up to feed nd super cranky! I cant co sleep as our house is freezing so our living room (where fire is) is where DD is sleeping day n night. Theres just a small sofa no room fr any kind of mattress.. Im getting really frustrated. Yesterday was my 24th bday which was spent trying to get 5mins of me time so i cud shower. I love her so much but tday i cant even put her dwn fr 5mins befre she gets really cross n screams the house dwn. I cant even express breastmilk fr OH to feed her so i can sleep fr an hr or two at the moment as shes feeding non stop. I tried expressing 2days ago nd got 1ounce after 2 sessions of pumping. I used to get 5ounces! I put her to the breast all the time. I just feel as though im cracking up!!

 

[KatyR]

After two nights of poor sleep I'm dreading tonight

 

[misspriss]

It does get better. DS is finally mostly sleeping again. Last two nights he has slept well-ish. Still fussing and tossing and turning, but staying asleep and not waking me up as much. I think he is learning how to sleep more independently.

He is also getting over his cold. I am no expert, but I think they are related.

 

[danielle1984]

my 7month old wakes up every hour! I started the No Cry Sleep Solution tips....hope it works!

 

[BadMamaJAMA]

Ughhhh...

I mean, Hello!

My LO will be 2 weeks tomorrow and we had a bad night last night. She was awake from 1 AM to 5 AM. I fed her twice during that time and she didn't go down. She'd kind of dozed off, and then when I'd put her in the cradle... WAAAAAAAAAH!!!

We tried the swing. I rocked her and sang to her.

Basically, I had two choices: Hold her, or deal with the wailing. No joke, I started bawling at the end of it. I feel pathetic.

I don't really understand...when we first brought her home, she was sleeping like a champ. We try to wake her after 2 hours of napping during the day... she doesn't care whether I'm holding her then, and she'll sleep through anything! We do tummy time so she gets some "exercise," too.

I'm beginning to wonder if my circadian rhythms are messed up, and if I'm producing morning milk at night and night milk during the day. I'm also beginning to wonder if I gave birth to a demon.

Just here to vent. Thanks!

 

[dreamer_x]

Ughhhh...

I mean, Hello!

My LO will be 2 weeks tomorrow and we had a bad night last night. She was awake from 1 AM to 5 AM. I fed her twice during that time and she didn't go down. She'd kind of dozed off, and then when I'd put her in the cradle... WAAAAAAAAAH!!!

We tried the swing. I rocked her and sang to her.

Basically, I had two choices: Hold her, or deal with the wailing. No joke, I started bawling at the end of it. I feel pathetic.

I don't really understand...when we first brought her home, she was sleeping like a champ. We try to wake her after 2 hours of napping during the day... she doesn't care whether I'm holding her then, and she'll sleep through anything! We do tummy time so she gets some "exercise," too.

I'm beginning to wonder if my circadian rhythms are messed up, and if I'm producing morning milk at night and night milk during the day. I'm also beginning to wonder if I gave birth to a demon.

Just here to vent. Thanks!

You're definitely not alone, I know the feeling!

Ava's 2 weeks old tomorrow, and I'm struggling already! I've been on the very edge of tears for the past 2 nights now. Last night she ended up having 3 feeds within 5 hours, because that was the only thing we could think she needed! She'd been fed, changed and was having cuddles and she was still screaming for no apparent reason, so OH got her a bottle and BAM she went to sleep! But then she did it again 4 hours later!

She'll only go to sleep in her moses basket if we've warmed a blanket up slightly before hand - she'll go down on her playmat and nap there without being that fussy, but her moses basket, nope, she needs a blanket that's at least body temperature!

The first couple of nights went really well, I was surprised at how easy it seemed, but now, she just seems to be being awkward!

I end up feeling guilty in the end because I'll get annoyed with her, and I feel like I shouldn't, because she's just communicating in the way that she can, and if she's not tired then she's not tired, but it just gets to the point where my patience is worn so thin that I can't help but get irritated.

I'm dreading when OH goes back to work, because it'll be more me having to deal with the screaming fits at night, rather than us sharing it, and I can't cope when she screams constantly for nearly an hour at the minute, let alone if I'm going to have to deal with it on my own while OH tries to get some sleep!

I don't want to co-sleep, I don't want her to get used to that - once she properly falls asleep during the day/evening, we put her on her playmat so that she doesn't get used to sleeping with or on us, but at night, she'll rarely settle unless she's with us! It's driving me mad :/ I love her, but she's such hard work!

Rant over, for now!

 

[BadMamaJAMA]

dreamer_x - So glad to know I'm not alone!

Just FYI, we had a great night last night... so maybe good things are in your future too!

 

[dreamer_x]

Our night last night wasn't too bad either! The timings weren't quite what I expected, but she'd had 5 feeds during the day, so she wasn't overly hungry at night! And once she'd been changed at 6am, she let me sleep until 10am! Bliss!

 

[BadMamaJAMA]

Ughh... upsetting pattern developing. LO will go down for 2-2.5 hours at first (yay!). But THEN, she'll wake up and just... stay up.

For instance, here was my night last night:

10 PM - LO asleep
10:30 PM - Mommy asleep
12:30 AM - LO awake (fed/changed)
1:00 AM - LO dozed off (put back down)
1:15 AM - LO crying (fed)
2:00 AM - LO dozed off (put back down)
2:15 AM - LO crying (fed/changed)
2:30 AM - LO asleep
4:30 AM - LO awake (fed)
4:45 AM - LO asleep
7:30 AM - LO awake (yay! almost 3 hours)

So... I slept maybe 5 hours, but was awake for a horrible 2-hour stretch in there... every time I felt like it was safe to put my head on the pillow, she'd start stirring, which gave way to whining, which gave way to wailing.

Is this just how she's going to be? Or is there a way to keep her asleep once she dozes off? Should I just wake her then and make her feed again?