Slowly Giving Up

[Mango]

I had all intentions of breast feeding and thought that it would be easy and come naturally. But everyday I'm finding it more and more difficult to make sure my lil one is latched on properly. My breast are quite large (not engorged just large) and I am finding it VERY PAINFUL and ensuring the proper latch takes time, but my lil one ends up very frustrated as do I. She'll end up screaming int he middle of the night because it's taking so long to get it right, which breaks my heart.

I feel horrible because I'm the one person she depends on and I can't get it right. Feel as though I have let her down big time. It's reached the point where I think I can honestly say that I DO NOT like breast feeding at all!!

I feel as though it woudl be much easier on the two of us if I were to simply give her a bottle.

I have a meeting with a lactation consultant in the morning. We'll see how it goes. Right now I'm just trying ot make it through the night.

How do you ladies do it, I can't get it right and feel liek the biggest failure!

 

[coccyx]

Oh no you are not a failiure I always found laying on the bed with baby on a flattish pillow at the side was a good position for me. It really does get easier. I'm sure the lactation lady will give some good advice.

 

[hypnorm]

I've just written a similar comment on another thread.
I really sympathise with you.
Every one makes out that breast feeding is natural and you will know how to do it and so will baby, but that is a load of crap. Breast feeding is a learning curve fro you and baby!!

It certainly did not come naturally to me or my Son.
Ewan would get very frustrated and start crying if i didnt get him latched of asap! but as i was so engorged and flat nipples he couldnt get a latch - so my hubby bought some nipple shields which i woudl put over at the start of a feed, my let dow reflex would quickly fill the shiel which i coud then put in ewan mouth and ne would suck. it also helped slow my flow down!! as i was choking him!!!
after a couple of weeks i was able to start taking the nipple shield away. and ewan would latch on very quickly - i still had times where it would be toe curlinhly painful.

I went to a breast feeding support group and they were invaluable in giving support and finding that i actually wasnt the only one having the same problems.

Good luck and hope it goes well with the counillor.

also - there is a very good book - how to breast feed and what to do it i cant.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_w_h_?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=how+to+breast+feed

 

[anita665]

I guess because everyone eants us to breast feed so badly, they don't tell you the bad parts or how hard it can be which makes it feel terrible if your struggling but lots of people are in the same situation. Try not to let it get you down. I guess it's one of those things which once you've got the hang of it, you'll wonder why you ever found it so hard, but if you don't then at least you gave it your best shot and thays what counts!

 

[Mango]

Today;s Update: I saw the lactation consultant and she tried everything in the book. We tried to latch my daughter onto my inverted nipple but it is just too painful on that side. I can nurse from my other side just fine, so I think what I may do is nurse from one side only...and pump/store (for later down) from the painful breast? I find that when she feed from the one breast which she latches onto easily, she is less frustrated and settles so much better.

I'm really disappointed in myself but I figure it's the least I can do for now.

Has anyone ever fed from one breast only (and pumped the other) or heard of someone doing it?

 

[marley2580]

It's totally possible as women with twins can BF, your supply will increase in that one breast. Well done for continuing with the BF

 

[snugglemuffin]

I pump, bottle feed and breast feed so it is possible but I'm just starting too.

 

[freckleonear]

I had to feed from one breast only for a few weeks, as it was the only way I could get Aaron latched on properly. The milk supply on that side increased to meet his needs, and I pumped from the other side when I could to prevent it drying up. Once he could latch on really well, I gradually reintroduced the other side, which is now building up a better supply.

So yes, it can be done, demand will produce the right supply. Good luck!

Edit: I didn't even feed him the milk I expressed, as he won't take a bottle.

 

[tanya29]

awww hun i am guilty of posting threads saying breast is best...and it is really natural but you know what its bullshit...thinking back at times i was tearful and teary due to pain and sleepless nights and frustrated baby...i had many times where i just wanted to pack it in stick a bottle in his gob and do it that way...and i probably would of if it wasnt for the fact that he really wouldnt take a bottle but its easy to forget these things when i breastfed for 2 1/2 yrs...and in all honesty i couldnt wait to get him off then...

i still had the guilty feeling even then when i took him off its a joke if it isnt for you it isnt for you it really doesnt make a difference to baby as he has a mother that loves her..i am having another and i do not know whether i want to start the breastfeeding thing again...its hard work

good luck

 

[Mango]

OK update ladies...so my left breast was badly engorged from me avoiding it. I spoke with the lactation consultant again this morning and she popped by. We relieved the engorgement in my breast using a pump..(The Medela Pumps are AMAZING!)...since then I have been feeding from my sore breast off and on and the soreness is gradually going away, but not enough for me to have to build up some courage first before using it LOL. Turns out my lil one was not getting the proper latch b/c of the engorgement....with the engorgement relieved I used the pump to pull out the inverted nipple and so far it's ok

So there is hope..I'll keep pressing on.

BUT!! Can someone tell me if the general soreness from breast feeding goes away as your breast get use to it? I have only been breast feeding for over a week now.

P.S. I can soooooooo see why women give up breast feeding!

 

[coccyx]

YES

 

[mickey]

you see, in the beginning your breasts will feel like they are going to burst! especially, in the days after the milk comes in (I could not believe how big mine crew and it hurt ). as well with those big engorged ones it hurts when the baby latches on! but as your milk poduction establishes they go back in size and go all soft again, that it is really hard to believe that the baby can feed so much out of it. then it is not painful anymore when the baby latches on!

give it another week and you should see an improvement, I reckon

 

[Mango]

So by 3 weeks of breast feeding your guys felt much better?

 

[coccyx]

YES YES YES

 

[Mango]

Even when I get the latch right it still hurts. It has been about a week and a half so I'll stick it out some more and just pray that I don't have to cringe and curl my toes at every feeding by the time week 3 roles around ...

Thanks for your encouragement ladies

 

[marley2580]

Hate to say it hun, but I had pain with feeding for two months. BUT after that it was fine and I'm really glad that I kept up the BF coz it's now the easiest thing in the world. And yes I had the toe curling etc.

 

[mickey]

I believe to remember that with me, it settled @ around 2-3 weeks.
then we had trush which was causing pain again, but this is a different kettle of fish

 

[hypnorm]

i think it took about 3-4 weeks for the toe curling to stop, at times i would be in tears as it hurt so much but i refused to give in, i dreaded feeding at times.
But it setttled down, it would come back occasionally but then i knew i had a bad latch so i would reset ewan back on and it was usually ook.

i know what you mean about engorgement - your boobs feel like rock and going to explode! i remember thinking 'god i think i know how implants would feel now!!'

 

[kookie]

mango it does get easier your still really new to it hope it works itself out for you and bubs.

 

[Lucy]

Glad to hear things have improved a bit.
With my daughter it wasn't painfree until around 10wks and that's also when my boobs stopped being engorged/leaky but this time round they settled down around 10 days after birth and now feel very soft and never get really hard and engorged but I'm not sure if that's because it's my 2nd baby or if it's because I had to express my milk for 3 days when my Son was 4 days old as he was only allowed a tube feed.

If you want to breastfeed then do try and get through these early weeks. Remember you are both still learning to breastfeed and soon it will be so easy and painfree and convenient