So called friend (rant)

[zoe87]

Omg im so peeved off...I finally decided to tell people on my facebook i was pregnant..a little early I know but my OH had already announced it withouht consulting me
Anyways i posted the pic of my early scan and one of my old closest mates commented on it saying to 'enjoy every mintute'. She knows what ive been through so i said back to her that i couldnt enjoy it till at least 3rd tri cos im in constant worry. She then went on to say :

' haha! i was the same! I think all women are mostly like that! I would like to tell you it goes away but i still panic now and think something bad will happen lol!'

This is coming from someone who has never experianced a loss. Am I wrong for being so peeved off with her. I mean shes been pregnant once and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. How can she honestly feel the same way as me or even suggest that all women are like that.
I mean dont get me wrong all women are bound to worry in pregnancy but in my opinion they will never know what worry is like with someone who has experianced a miscrriage! Am i wrong? Some please tell me lol sorry for the rant

 

[myasmumma]

Omg im so peeved off...I finally decided to tell people on my facebook i was pregnant..a little early I know but my OH had already announced it withouht consulting me
Anyways i posted the pic of my early scan and one of my old closest mates commented on it saying to 'enjoy every mintute'. She knows what ive been through so i said back to her that i couldnt enjoy it till at least 3rd tri cos im in constant worry. She then went on to say :

' haha! i was the same! I think all women are mostly like that! I would like to tell you it goes away but i still panic now and think something bad will happen lol!'

This is coming from someone who has never experianced a loss. Am I wrong for being so peeved off with her. I mean shes been pregnant once and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. How can she honestly feel the same way as me or even suggest that all women are like that.
I mean dont get me wrong all women are bound to worry in pregnancy but in my opinion they will never know what worry is like with someone who has experianced a miscrriage! Am i wrong? Some please tell me lol sorry for the rant

Hey congratulations i didnt want to read and run, and feel that i just have to say (please dont take this the wrong way) she may know exactly how you feel just didnt tell anyone about her loss..i had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and no one knows apart from my partner..i dont know your friend so i dont know what the messages mean but to me it seems like she is trying her best to comfort you and reassure you things will be ok just try not too worry, hard i know..and hormones are a bugger arent they i wish you all the best

 

[laura.x.x]

I understand, It would probably annoy me too. But she probably doesn't mean any harm and because she hasn't been through it she probably didn't even realise how worried you meant and just assumed it was like every other normal pregnancy worries!! x

 

[Smiler13]

Think you might be being a little oversensitive.

Even women who have never had a loss vary in how much they worry, some worry sooooo much even if they have never had any problems at all.

I have had four losses (and a healthy baby) and am pretty sensitive about what pregnant friends / family members say, I take everything through the lens of my experiences, my other half is pretty good at talking me through it to help me let it go.

Best wishes for your pregnancy.

 

[Samemka]

I can understand why her comment might have upset you but to be perfectly honest I can see me saying something similar. When you said you wouldn't be able to enjoy it til at least 3rd tri, I think her coming back and saying most people worry and she still does now was her way of trying to make you feel a little more 'normal' - like you're not the only person to worry through a pregnancy, and by making that clear she was probably trying to say 'I understand you worrying and that's ok'. Yes, your reason for worrying could be completely different to hers, but worry is worry and I think that's what she was getting at!

I don't think she intended to upset you in the slightest hun

 

[zoe87]

Thanks I guess im just having a bad day its not normally like me to be so over sensitive.

 

[im_mi]

its hormones, sweetie. You're anxious and probably nauseous and exhausted too, and its natural to take things the wrong way. like the others said, she may have actually experienced a loss that you dont know about. people all react differently to losses, too. I had two losses consecutively before falling pregnant with this baby and i can honestly say other than a few scary moments in the beginning, i havent felt anxious at all! However there are girls on here who suffer terribly with anxiety about their pregnancies, some of which havent ever suffered a loss.

xxxxx

 

[fawkesymomma]

zoe- I would react the same way! Maybe it is all the lols that bothered me. Being worried and having had a loss in the past (especially one they knew about) does not make one laugh out loud. I am sure she didn't mean anything by it, but sometimes people can say really insensitive things when they aren't thinking about it. Especially over the internet because it is hard to convey emotions and such in text.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

I didn't read her comment as anything horrible, even people that haven't had losses worry