So depressed! Overdue!

[cinnamum]

I am having NO signs of labour what's so ever!
I am constipated.
Baby is high up in my rib cage.
I have a UTI which my hospital can't sort until my midwife comes back on Tuesday 29th.
Pre-op for a csection booked on Thursday the 1st.
I have another (2nd) sweep booked for Friday the 2nd.
Csection booked on Monday the 5th.
I have to go to all of these appointments ALONE because my husband has to look after the kids, my in laws are dead! My mother is unwell and my father is working!
I will also be going for the csection ALONE too.

I can't be induced because I've had 2previous csections. I can't have the spinal block to have an elective csection because I have scholiosis of the spine. I have no choice but to completely miss the birth of my own child due to having to have GA.

It's making me resent this baby to the point where me and my husband have talked about adoption.
I cry myself to sleep knowing I have no bond whatsoever with this baby!
I don't want to breastfeed it, I want the medication to make me better, but I've been told I'm selfish.
I don't know what to do anymore.
My GP says its anxiety, I don't want to live like this. I'm not in good place right now.

 

[MummyToAmberx]

I didnt want to read and run, im sorry your feeling this way. I hope things get better for you real soon.

 

[laurac1988]

So sorry lovely. Those last weeks are hard. Please go back to your GP and discuss how your are feeling again. They will be able to help xxx

 

[cinnamum]

I only went to the doctor last week, they won't see me again till PP and even then it's to assess PND which is no good to me right now.

 

[cinnamum]

Thank you ladies xx

 

[BethMaassen]

I am really sorry you feel this way. I do know the feeling. Toward the end of my pregnancy with my daughter, I felt just about the same way. I never told anyone about it though. I kept to myself. I am pretty sure it was in direct reaction to things I was going through.
Then she was born.. And it all went away. I did not resent her, I did not want to give her up. All those feelings just vanished.

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

I'm so sorry to hear you feel this way Hun and I really hope once all this is over and you have your beautiful baby in your arms that you feel better, good luck Hun x

 

[cinnamum]

I just want it to be over!

 

[Mississippi03]

Im really not intending for this post to come off as judgey.. Just trying to understand!

Being overdue must suck so much, and i understand the frustration of wanting it all done.. Especially given that you have to go alone. But i think i remember you saying in another post that you have had to go it alone with another one of your babes as well, and you made it through that! And did you resent them?

I think there is a huge difference in not wanting a child and being frustrated because it seems like the journey is never ending. Because after the last you knew it would work this way, its just shit that the drs dont seem to be on your side either!

There is lts of help out there for ppd.. Please ont be ashamed to speak to someone about it. This doesnt have to carry on and you shouldnt have to suffer! And at the very least, everyone is here to wait this out with ya

 

[bitethebullet]

Def go see your gp. But remember the end is near! You can do it. I am really uncomfortable this time but know at least I have my section booked for the 7th. I went 2 weeks over with my first and know how miserable it is but it doesn't last forever. It sucks that you don't have your partner with you for the birth but again, you can do this and you'll soon be home and a family. I wouldn't worry so much about not feeling bonded at the moment- I know that I didn't feel particularly bonded with my daughter but as soon as she was born that all changed.

 

[cinnamum]

I've got a midwife appointment tomorrow hopefully I can ask her for another sweep. It's all I can have because of my body.

 

[Rainstorm]

HOney hang in there, it's quite possible all your feelings are due to hormones, which as you may know can be quite bitchy when one is tired, and especially in your case with your hospital not giving you any options...

 

[cinnamum]

My husband is going to leave me and take the kids, it's at that stage now. I'm quite happy to turn a blind eye and concentrate on becoming well again!

 

[Scarlett2]

I don't understand why your GPs won't see you until pp? Ante-natal depression is a big deal theses days, is commonly accepted as a frequent and serious condition. I had post natal depression with #1 and antenatal and postnatal depression with #2, everyone is bending over backwards to provide support for me with this one. Can you make an appointment with a different GP and suggest that you have antenatal depression and genuinely don't know where it will lead? (If indeed you think it might be possible.. ) Do you have any friends you could talk? You might be surprised how supportive people are if that knew how much you were struggling?

 

[cinnamum]

I feel much better after a visit from my midwife I told her EVERYTHING and she has arranged a third stretch and sweep for me and she's rebooking my section for 42 weeks so I can try for another vba2c. I feel like a new woman! I just need to poo now and then I'll be well on my way to meeting my baby.