So disappointed at husband and his family

[floborg]

So two days ago we found out we are expecting a girl and my husband had quite a reaction asking sonographer if she's sure, asking if we can have another scan in a weekend, and read our gender prediction answers in the group as soon as a new answer showed up. He denies it but I know he is disappointed. Talking about noone carrying on his family name, he wanted to see if the boy would look like him (other comments he said yesterday)....

And now to his family. Not even one congratulations that we are expecting a girl. NOT EVEN ONE!
His dad looked like he was more about to give us his condolences and his mom said it will be a boy... And the rest of his family has showed their dislike by not saying a word.

I am beyond disappointed. I am staying in their country too so I don't have my family to comfort me either. And I had a bad fall today from a running car and noone bothering to take me to a hospital.

I am so sad and not to sound racist but I feel like I married a muslim where you can expect gender disappointment when it turns out to be a girl...

Right now I just feel like going back to my own country and they can miss out on their grandchild's life (if she survived the bad fall that is).
I feel like they don't deserve her.

 

[FayDanielle]

I'm sorry your husband acted that way

You should try get yourself seen at the hospital, if it's as bad as you considering she may not have survived the fall, please go get yourself and the baby seen. xx

 

[BabyLuv88]

Im muslim and im expecting my 4th girl and hubby is happy either boy or girl... Thats just rude thinking muslims think like that.

 

[floborg]

Im muslim and im expecting my 4th girl and hubby is happy either boy or girl... Thats just rude thinking muslims think like that.

Well I'm sorry you got offended but in my country Muslim women often get beaten up if they gave a girl, now they've to have guards at the hospitals to prevent it...

 

[floborg]

I'm sorry your husband acted that way

You should try get yourself seen at the hospital, if it's as bad as you considering she may not have survived the fall, please go get yourself and the baby seen. xx

I'm not hurting as bad today and I don't have the money to go, in my country health care is free. Wish we could just go to a place and find out if she made it. The car wasn't running fast, we were fighting and I told him to stop the car and he didn't but I thought he would do I just jumped out... Luckily he wasn't going fast as he was going over a speedbump. I read about women falling down stairs and being fine but I don't know. I hate not knowing if she's fine or not and whenever I ask my husband he gets mad and says I'm such a pessimist.

 

[campn]

Gender hate happens in the middle east and parts of Eastern Asia that's just the fact from looking at statistics. In China males are preferred to females and it's heartbreaking.

To the OP, I'm so sorry they're reacting that way, you should celebrate and be happy for yourself and don't expect others to be happy for you. We don't get pregnant and have our previous babies for our in laws and them not appreciating your sweet baby girl is really their loss cause that's a big fun adventure they're going to miss out on.

Please take yourself to the hospital if you feel like you need to be checked out and you and baby come first! Go out and buy a bunch of pink cute outfits!

Can I ask where you originally from? Maybe it's best for you to go back to your home country now and have the family support you need and also free health insurance.
Congrats!!!

 

[Misscalais]

I will never dismiss a husbands disappointment because i feel they can feel the same DG as mums can. Im sure he will absolutely love and adore your daughter and its OK for him to feel a bit disappointed.
However i hate it when anyone who isn't the parent shows such disrespect in disappointment.
My mil was absolutely utterly disappointed in my DS2, we had a huge falling out with her 2 years ago and she hasn't even met DS3, nor has she congratulated us on him or even ever attempted to know anything about him.

 

[BabyLuv88]

Im muslim and im expecting my 4th girl and hubby is happy either boy or girl... Thats just rude thinking muslims think like that.

Well I'm sorry you got offended but in my country Muslim women often get beaten up if they gave a girl, now they've to have guards at the hospitals to prevent it...

Thats the problem i have with people they judge muslims and not the country. Islam is a religion, where i live they are muslim and they do not care about what gender you have in hospitals or husbands or family. Its the country where you live and their traditions. Got it ?

 

[BabyLuv88]

Im muslim and im expecting my 4th girl and hubby is happy either boy or girl... Thats just rude thinking muslims think like that.

Well I'm sorry you got offended but in my country Muslim women often get beaten up if they gave a girl, now they've to have guards at the hospitals to prevent it...

Also did you know in islam if you raise 3 girls, god will open for you the doors of heaven.. Thats what islam is . And what do you mean muslim country.? Should i call where you come from by your religion???

 

[wifeybby]

Babyluv, I get you're offended, but that's not the point of the post. I would drop it. Where she is at and what she is going through is different than your experience. She didn't post anything to instigate a hostile response from you or any other user. Please, stop.

Flo, congrats on your baby girl! I am so happy for you. I want a girl so very badly, and was browsing these threads because I know I'll be disappointed with a boy in a sense, but happy to have a baby either way. I agree with Campn, go get some cute girly outfits and enjoy your baby to the fullest! If your hubbys family can't accept her, they don't deserve her. I would keep my distance and consider moving home too had I been in your shoes. You want nothing but the best for her, and for her to be surrounded with love and acceptance. Your family sounds like they would do just that.

Not trying to get into anyones business, just trying to be supportive.

 

[Unexpected212]

Im muslim and im expecting my 4th girl and hubby is happy either boy or girl... Thats just rude thinking muslims think like that.

Well I'm sorry you got offended but in my country Muslim women often get beaten up if they gave a girl, now they've to have guards at the hospitals to prevent it...

Also did you know in islam if you raise 3 girls, god will open for you the doors of heaven.. Thats what islam is . And what do you mean muslim country.? Should i call where you come from by your religion???

Stop taking this so personally. A country where the population is predominantly one religion is often defined by that.

Also everyones experience of a religion will be different. You have experienced one side of Islam and she has clearly experienced a different side. Someones experiences aren't any less valid than yours.

I get why you are defensive because the religion does get an unfair rep quite a lot but I think the most important thing here is that OP gets checked out by a hospital ASAP.

OP, it sounds like you are having a tough time I'm sorry. A lot of men want a boy but as soon as their daughters are born they fall in love.

 

[campn]

Agree with above two posters this post isn't about you BabyLuv, your country, your family or your religion so you don't need to argue over that anymore. She didn't personally attack you whatsoever so please don't get offended, this forum is for women to blow off some steam and rant.


I am from the Middle East and these things do happen unfortunately, it's just a fact even though it's a heartbreaking fact it doesn't stop it from being true.

 

[wifeybby]

How are you, flo?! Did you get seen?

 

[lau86]

Hope your baby is ok x

 

[floborg]

Gender hate happens in the middle east and parts of Eastern Asia that's just the fact from looking at statistics. In China males are preferred to females and it's heartbreaking.

To the OP, I'm so sorry they're reacting that way, you should celebrate and be happy for yourself and don't expect others to be happy for you. We don't get pregnant and have our previous babies for our in laws and them not appreciating your sweet baby girl is really their loss cause that's a big fun adventure they're going to miss out on.

Please take yourself to the hospital if you feel like you need to be checked out and you and baby come first! Go out and buy a bunch of pink cute outfits!

Can I ask where you originally from? Maybe it's best for you to go back to your home country now and have the family support you need and also free health insurance.
Congrats!!!

Yes, I am probably going back within 3-14 days (depending on what flight we chose) as we now found out my thyroid medication needs adjusting as well and I am on my meds from my home country and I didn't respond well to the American thyroid medication. Just sucks to be away from my husband but baby comes first.

 

[floborg]

I will never dismiss a husbands disappointment because i feel they can feel the same DG as mums can. Im sure he will absolutely love and adore your daughter and its OK for him to feel a bit disappointed.
However i hate it when anyone who isn't the parent shows such disrespect in disappointment.
My mil was absolutely utterly disappointed in my DS2, we had a huge falling out with her 2 years ago and she hasn't even met DS3, nor has she congratulated us on him or even ever attempted to know anything about him.

Yes, I can understand that too even though I didn't expect that reaction from my husband as he said it doesn't matter what gender the baby is all along until we found out. I would of preferred if he would of told me from the start.
His family doesn't talk about the pregnancy at all now anymore... I even have a CD from last ultrasound and they haven't even asked to see it even though I told them about it and that they can watch it anytime they want to. So utterly disappointed and mad at them. But I am sure they are the ones that will lose with this attitude in the long run.

 

[floborg]

I am pretty sure baby is okay as I think I am feeling her move, usually nighttime. Third baby so pretty sure it's her I am feeling (my husband's first though but my third).

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Sorry you are going through this rubbish time, concentrate on you and your baby girl will your children be flying home with you or are hubby and children staying where you are now? Hope baby girl is ok x

 

[Louise88]

I'm so sorry you husband is acting this way. my oh when we found out our first was a girl he didn't talk to me all day after the scan and was so disinterested in buying anything for his new daughter throughout the rest of the pregnancy. However when she was born it was like the last 20 weeks of disappointed disappeared for him because he cried when she was born and wouldn't put her down lol he did get his boy in the end though when we had number 2 I really hope your husband and his family come to terms soon and start looking forward to the new arrival xx

 

[SaraVO]

I was worried about the gender with my husbands side of the family. It was more of a passing on the family name. My husband is an only son and there wasn't another boy born in this generation until we found out we were having a boy. My husband wanted a boy and I wanted to give him a son. But, a daughter would have been amazing and he would have fallen in love with her just the same. I think that if you and your husband are from different cultures and religions it creates a divide and a lack of understanding that can be hard to get past. I understand how hurtful and defensive that can make you. Maybe going home until they can adjust and learn to be excited for a daughter they may come around, they may not. But, either way you will have your daughter. You will teach her that she has value and that she is loved and wanted. We just can't control other peoples emotions. But, we can let them go and live our lives the way we want.