so over it all, another bfn

[trying hard]

So frickn over this whole thing!!!!!!!!!

Month after month of heart ache and disappointment. So tempted to just say f**k it and give up. I thought that clomid would be my saving grace for so long i was desperate to get my hands on this wonder drug but now i just think it has got my hopes up again for nothing.

I was up untill well past one this morning because i was so excited and nervous and then surprise surprise big fat stupid negative. I'm not even all that sad this time just really angry and disappointed.

I hate that i get so many fricken symptoms for nothing, i cant even trust my body to tell me the truth any more on this stupid drug.

I dont think i will test again this month, 12dpo should be a pretty reliable indication that it hasn't worked...again...

Infertility sucks. I'm so over it. We cant afford ivf so if clomid doesn't work then its over for us

when we first started trying i said to myself if it didn't happen in a year we would just go on and leave it all behind but that was because i didn't think in my wildest nightmare that i wouldn't get pregnant straight away. Then after 1 year i said ok so after 2 years thats it once again i thought it would be a matter of months and now after more than 2 years and hundreds of dollars worth of drugs, vitamins and tests im at the end of my tether and dont know what to do with myself. The fs said come back in 3 more years if the clomid doesn't work. What a crock of sh*t.

sorry I just had to put that out there or my head was going to explode!!!!!

 

[LizMcD]

Sorry Hun I know how u feel. Anger, disappointment, resentment, it's the same every month. I don't ever test any more. Only for ovulation. I never thought it would take this long. 17 mnths ttc no. 1. I believe it will happen. But Like you though I have set myself a timeline cos I can't do this forever!

Good luck with the clomid xx

 

[uwa_amanda]

So frickn over this whole thing!!!!!!!!!

Month after month of heart ache and disappointment. So tempted to just say f**k it and give up. I thought that clomid would be my saving grace for so long i was desperate to get my hands on this wonder drug but now i just think it has got my hopes up again for nothing.

I was up untill well past one this morning because i was so excited and nervous and then surprise surprise big fat stupid negative. I'm not even all that sad this time just really angry and disappointed.

I hate that i get so many fricken symptoms for nothing, i cant even trust my body to tell me the truth any more on this stupid drug.

I dont think i will test again this month, 12dpo should be a pretty reliable indication that it hasn't worked...again...

Infertility sucks. I'm so over it. We cant afford ivf so if clomid doesn't work then its over for us

when we first started trying i said to myself if it didn't happen in a year we would just go on and leave it all behind but that was because i didn't think in my wildest nightmare that i wouldn't get pregnant straight away. Then after 1 year i said ok so after 2 years thats it once again i thought it would be a matter of months and now after more than 2 years and hundreds of dollars worth of drugs, vitamins and tests im at the end of my tether and dont know what to do with myself. The fs said come back in 3 more years if the clomid doesn't work. What a crock of sh*t.

sorry I just had to put that out there or my head was going to explode!!!!!

My husband and I feel the same way. If this clomid doesn't work for us then we are going to leave it alone. We cannot afford to bankrupt ourselves for a maybe. I have definitely felt the anger, disappointment, and anxiety that you are going through to get pregnant. We figured it wouldn't take us long to get pregnant on clomid. After four rounds, nothing has happened yet. I have not tested yet this month, but I do anticipate testing yet again with an increased amount of anxiety because we have been trying for so long. I was hoping to get pregant fairly quickly on this medication, but nothing has happened yet. We are giving ourselves until the end of 2013 to get pregnant. If this time comes and we are childless, then we will decide to stop trying for a baby and be a childless family.

Hopefully, this drug will work for the both of us so we can have the baby we so badly want.

 

[trying hard]

thanks for your replies, Just feeling sorry for myself today. I saw your signature and that really put things in perspective for me, two years has just about broken my spirit you must be one strong lady to go through 5 years of this crap.

hugs

 

[Chiles]

Sorry hun,

TTC is a horrible roller coaster and we all can relate. My 2nd cycle was cancelled and I felt like it would never happen, I was going to give it all up, and say the heck with it. My situation is a little differ than yours but hey, I am still not pregnant yet. Maybe you can talk to your RE and see if you can try an alternantive like Femara, or injectables?
Did you even ovulate on clomid? I know IVF is expensive and if you are lucky you may can see if your RE had any upcoming clinical IVF trials. Don't Give up yet. You still have some options left.

 

[CanadianMaple]

I can relate. We just found out DH doesn't have sperm. We don't know if we can afford IVF ICSI and TESE. I'm feeling like I need to cut my losses and re-join my old pre-TTC life.

Big hugs

 

[Chiles]

I can relate. We just found out DH doesn't have sperm. We don't know if we can afford IVF ICSI and TESE. I'm feeling like I need to cut my losses and re-join my old pre-TTC life.

Big hugs

Sorry to hear that, So are you going to use donor sperm? If so then are you going to try IUI 1st?

 

[trying hard]

clinical trials aren't an option for me as I live in New Zealand and we are too small a place for things like that.

blood tests suggest i did O but I was Oing before anyway as I am unexplained.

Thanks ladies i really just needed to vent a bit before hubby gets home to find me crying in the corner.

 

[Chiles]

@trying hard, well can you see if your RE will try Femara, or injectables. I think its worth a shot!!!

 

[dinky]

Please don't give up hope, I was ttc for 7 years before I got blessed with my daughter! I had taken 12 rounds or maybe 16 rounds of clomid, I can't remember, before I concieved dd, it is such a hard time and I hated it! But it did eventually happen and I felt every emotion under the sun whilst ttc! It drove me crazy!!! I'm ttc#2 now and on my 3rd round of clomid. Hoping it won't take as long this time x

 

[NellyVille]

I'm about ready to give up and I've not even reached the clomid stage yet. I had my lap & dye just under a fortnight ago and while I was happy that they didn't find anything, my heart did sink a little as I realised that I can now say for 100% sure that there is no good reason why we're not pregnant - just bad luck. Having had bad luck pretty much solidly for 32 years I thought fate would cut me a break. I was wrong.

Sorry for hijacking, I'm having a rotten time at the moment as well

 

[popchick75]

Please don't give up hope, I was ttc for 7 years before I got blessed with my daughter! I had taken 12 rounds or maybe 16 rounds of clomid, I can't remember, before I concieved dd, it is such a hard time and I hated it! But it did eventually happen and I felt every emotion under the sun whilst ttc! It drove me crazy!!! I'm ttc#2 now and on my 3rd round of clomid. Hoping it won't take as long this time x

Dinky- That gives me hope! We are going on 9 years of TTC now.

 

[ohmyitschelsi]

So frickn over this whole thing!!!!!!!!!

Month after month of heart ache and disappointment. So tempted to just say f**k it and give up. I thought that clomid would be my saving grace for so long i was desperate to get my hands on this wonder drug but now i just think it has got my hopes up again for nothing.

I was up untill well past one this morning because i was so excited and nervous and then surprise surprise big fat stupid negative. I'm not even all that sad this time just really angry and disappointed.

I hate that i get so many fricken symptoms for nothing, i cant even trust my body to tell me the truth any more on this stupid drug.

I dont think i will test again this month, 12dpo should be a pretty reliable indication that it hasn't worked...again...

Infertility sucks. I'm so over it. We cant afford ivf so if clomid doesn't work then its over for us

when we first started trying i said to myself if it didn't happen in a year we would just go on and leave it all behind but that was because i didn't think in my wildest nightmare that i wouldn't get pregnant straight away. Then after 1 year i said ok so after 2 years thats it once again i thought it would be a matter of months and now after more than 2 years and hundreds of dollars worth of drugs, vitamins and tests im at the end of my tether and dont know what to do with myself. The fs said come back in 3 more years if the clomid doesn't work. What a crock of sh*t.

sorry I just had to put that out there or my head was going to explode!!!!!

I know how you feel, I am on 2 years TTC, and a year on Clomid this month of trying, I'm only 5dpo right now, but I know I'm going to get a BFN because obviously I can't EVER get a BFP! Every single month I have a mental breakdown, its so hard month after month of disappointment, I have one more prescription of Clomid so next month is my final and last chance, because I also can't afford IVF or even IUI, I don;t even have insurance... :/ message me anytime you want to talk because when I read what you wrote, its like I'm reading my exact life story.

 

[trying hard]

Nelly vill feel free to hijack

So sorry your'e feeling crappy too. I had to call my FS this morning to arrange next round of clomid and she made me cry (again) So over it.

Popchick, I don't know how you have managed to stay strong after so long. We just cant try that long. We have already doubled the time we originally set and cant try much longer really. I think if the remaining 4 rounds of clomid don't work then MAYBE we will do an IUI then thats it. This has already taken up too much of my soul. Much more will just ruin me.

Good luck ladies

 

[trying hard]

ohmyitschelsi
thank you and yeah as soon as o day has been and gone it seems all hope disappears only to rear its ugly head for a brief moment before getting another never even had as much as an evap line! No more testing for me because i have resigned myself to the fact it probably wont happen. I will take my stupid pills and have lots of sex just in case but not because I think it will work. But because that is all I have known for 2 fricken years.

Thank you for your story and kind word. Best of luck honey