So sick of people dictating to me

[mummylove]

I am getting really annoyed now. Some of my friends are telling me i need to go out and stop staying in and start taking kids out more. I am sick of people telling me what i should and shouldnt be doing. I suffer with depression and anxiety and the anxiety stops me going out. I hate being around people. I always think people are staring at me and always thinking people are talking about me. I get very agitated. I dont even do stuff for myself cus i cant face it. I do isolate myself which i admit but i have my reasons which i wont get into. I dont really want to tell my friends why i am the way i am cus its something im dealing with and trying to fix as i am getting help and we are working towards me making goals to go out and be around people etc. Plus its up to me what i do and what i do with my kids i dont tell them what they should or shouldnt be doing with their kids or themselves. The kids dont just sit around they go nursery 3 times a week and when im we bake play toys and crafts. Just dont know what to tell them so they dont take things offensive

 

[Boomerslady]

Oh hunni, I just wanted to offer I know exactly where your coming from. I too have anxiety and depression. I struggle taking Ben out, especially if its somewhere I don't know or I don't know the route on buses etc. I had my sister say once 'stop being lazy and just take him' I don't know how to explain its not laziness!! I've started taking anti ds and they have really helped me. I now try to take Ben on a trip once a week, so far it's just been to the cinema I feel comfy with that, and I also feel 'why are they looking at me' etc etc i worry about Ben kicking off and what people think if me as a mum but I try and push the negative thoughts aside. I can really empathise though. Just ignore the people saying that to you, and if you haven't already see your GP, it really does help just telling someone.

 

[mummylove]

I am on anti depressants to citalopram 30mg they help but still have bad days. They have calmed me down a lot but still finding the going out hard

 

[Boomerslady]

Of course, I know exactly what you mean. I take fluoxetine and it's really helped me, do you have counselling? Just don't let people get you down, you'll get there one day.

 

[mummylove]

Yea started counselling this week was nice talking to someone that aint involved

 

[hayz_baby]

It sounds like they are just looking out for your best interest, maybe they are nt doing it as tactfully as they should though..

My partner suffered crippingly with anxiety and rarely left the house for 2 years. Not even able to see doctors trying to help him. It was awful watching someone u care about practically stop living their life. I hope u are looking into additional help like cbt. Once my oh found a therapist who helped him on his terms (the once before wanted him to do group which he couldn't face) he also put all his focus into lo when he would go out and take small steps. Last night he gave a small speech to 90 odd people. It was hard work the past 2 years (4 years total) to get him where he is. He wished he never put it off the way he did as he feels like he lost 2 years of his life.
Ensure you are getting all te help like cbt. Use ur children as an excuse and put all your concentration into them. Explain to your friends that u just need patience and explain how you feel as best as u can. Tell them ways they can support you in recovery. I wish you all the best

 

[jess2864]

everyone always think their way is best but have no clue how to walk in your shoes!

 

[Yo_Yo]

Sorry to hear you have anxiety. Must be tough for you.
Perhaps your friends could come out with you on little trips to the park etc to help give you the confidence to go out more.

To be honest, it sounds your doing a great job with them anyway. Between nursery, playing with them and baking you sound your doing a lot more than I do Witt my two kids.
Anyway, the weathers been so cold, I've only been out to school and back during this past week!