So upset after first midwife appointment this afternoon :O(

[Rozie_1985]

i would find a new midwife and make a complaint shouldn't be in her job if she is making you feel like that. Massive hugs xxx

 

[claireybell]

Thats awful! I would definately ask to change midwife! I dont blame you feeling more anxious now i think anyone woukd be the same, & you should put an official complaint in aswell! Being a midwife she should also know that a pg test doesnt show or mean diddly squat when your pg as in a worse case scenario a test would still read positive! Oh im so angry for you,

 

[Bevziibubble]

That is very uncaring of your midwife. It sounds like she is in the wrong profession I would make a complaint and find a new one

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

Ladies.. sorry I need to vent a bit!

I have just got back from my first midwife appointment and I have come away feeling more anxious than when I went in.

I am 10 weeks tomorrow and have had problems since conceiving as I have a sub chronic hemorrhage and was spotting. I had a scan last Wednesday and everything was ok and saw a baby with a heartbeat, measuring fine. Since the scan my only symptom, breast tenderness, has now faded to nothing so I asked the midwife if this was normal for around this time and all she said was 'you will have to wait until your 12 week scan to find out'!

I was hoping she would be a bit more sympathetic and try and put my mind at ease but she has actually made me feel as though I am going to go to my scan in two weeks to find baby with no heartbeat. She also said to take a pregnancy test.... what!!??? If I did that and the line was fainter what good would that do other than make me worry more!!

On top of all that she has told me that I will more than likely get diabetes as I am 37 and have a BMI of 30 and wants me to take a blood test, saying if I make it to 28 weeks she will do it then!

AND she has referred me to a consultant saying that I will have trouble carrying the baby to term because I had a colposcopy loop excision in 2006 for an abnormal smear so I will need to have my cervix checked.

All in all, I feel doomed. It's taken us 5 years of failed IVF to get this BFP, which was a natural surprise after being told we had less than 1 per cent chance so I have been naturally anxious since finding out, all I need is a midwife who will help put me at ease... not make me bloody worse!!

Anyway, thanks for reading xx

PLEASE don't worry. My very first booking appointment for my first pregnancy was with the most negative midwife ever. I went in excited and came out feeling as though I would have sickle cell anaemia despite being in no risk group, that I would only have a good healthy scan at 12 weeks if I was very lucky, that I was probably going to have 383929 growth scans because my bmi was 38, and that I would probably get diabetes too. And I had a complicationless pregnancy and had done when I saw her. A few weeks later, I had my scan, everything was perfect of course, I didn't have sickle cell, (of course) and I didn't get diabetes and had a lovely pregnancy. A few weeks after my appt, my friend was pregnant and went for her booking appointment, got the same woman and rang me freaking out! Thankfully she told her everything she told me and we found the funny side - she obviously thinks it's better to prepare women for the negative unlikely outcome! God knows why. But if I get her this time around I won't be taking a blind bit of notice. And neither should you! I bet you find your next midwife is completely different and a nice experience!

I agree about complaining too!

 

[Eltjuh]

Try not to worry too much, I know it's hard, but try your best!
When I was pregnant with my first I didn't have any symptoms other than being very tired and I think I had sore boobs (that's about 6 years ago now so I can't really remember). With my second, I had some slight nausea from 6-10 weeks and the tiredness, that was it! (again, can't remember if I had sore boobs!) And this time I have no symptoms other than tiredness (which is also caused by my hypothyroid), no sore boobs, no nausea, nothing!
I worry too, because I think I should at least have sore boobs, but then I've breastfed both my boys, the 2nd one for a year, so I'm thinking maybe my boobs have just stretched so much that I won't get the sore boobs as they'll just expand back into the stretched skin Anyway, I know it's really really hard not to worry (I still check that there's no bleeding every time I go to the toilet!!) but I'm sure you'll be fine!!
Also, after seeing a healthy baby with a heartbeat it's less likely for things to go wrong - ofcourse it's no guarantee, but it's less likely!!

 

[LaurenaC]

Girls thank you so much for your additional comments, it really is comforting.

I actually caved in and booked a private scan on Saturday just gone because of that stupid midwife and it showed baby to be fine. So I have a week and two days until my 12 week scan and after that I will feel much better. I will be changing my GP practice to ensure I don't have that midwife again as she has made me feel more anxious than I already was.

Thanks again for commenting girls x

 

[Ceejay123]

It sounds like she just wanted to bring anxiety out in you! Change midwives! I would x

 

[babydustcass]

So pleased to hear you had a reassuring scan, i totally agree it would be best to change for your own sanity if not anything else. Always baffles me why people become midwives when they dont have a compassionate bone in their body

 

[Holliems]

Sorry you had to deal with that. I am sure everything is just fine. Good luck!