Some women shouldn't be mothers....

[Tasha]

Thank you

 

[DanielleM]

I don't know how this thread has turned into domestic violence, and there are some harsh words in here but just want to send to all the ladies affected by domestic/physical/sexually abuse. I don't think anybody in these situations decides to stay as a choice.

 

[Hayley90]

exactly. they dont choose to sit there and be beaten. they dont choose to be followed and spied on, raped or have knives thrown at them. they dont choose to have children that get slapped and shouted at for even breathing loudly. they are SCARED.

Fear does a lot of things, and each person reacts differnetly - just because one person wouldnt 'sit and watch' themselves be manipulated, others dont know HOW to react, some get deeper and deeper until they cant see a way out.

so claiming that 'to be manipulated you have let yourself be manipulated' is wrong on so many levels, and beyond insulting.

im going to read the transcript i think it'd be interesting. and i still do feel sorry for her. x

 

[Tasha]

If you find the transcript can you put a link here please

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Having been in a domestic violence situation it is pure fear. When you are that scared it isnt as easy as saying "once he does it walk out". Domestic violence is something that is so complicated it isn't as black and white and some people are making it out x

 

[AppleBlossom]

Wow, erm... what happened to this thread? I have been in an abusive relationship. Before that I probably had the same naive view of "why don't you just leave?" Easier said than done. I wasn't so much physically abused as I was emotionally and mentally but it's all in the same category. I would constantly threaten to leave and never did. After about a year, HE left me. If he hadn't, God only knows where I'd be now. People who are abused or beaten aren't weak because they don't leave their violent partners. Most of these women are told if they leave, their partner will come looking for them and kill them. Or in my case, my ex told me that I couldn't leave because I would have nowhere to go (he had driven me away from all my family and friends and made me feel like they wouldn't want to know me if I tried to move in with them) and so I stayed because I truly believed that if I didn't, I would be out on the streets so staying with someone that had me crying myself to sleep every night and who ripped every ounce of self confidence I had out of me was a better option. I'd like to think if it ever happened to me again that I would leave but it's never that simple.

Anyway, I digress...

 

[mum22ttc#3]

This thread makes harsh reading for a victim of domestic abuse, of which I was one. It is not as clean cut as chosing to stay, for a long time I didnt realise that what was happening in our relationship was domestic abuse and therefore it was never a conscious decision oh he is abusing me but I am staying any way. They have a way of getting in your head and making you feel like this is normal, or that it is your fault and then when you do eventually realise you have been worn down so much or are so scared that it isnt easy to walk away. Then there is the thought of them hurting you/your LO's/your family/themselves (whatever particular threat they have chosen at that time) if you leave, and well you KNOW they are more than capable of carrying those threats out, you feel like at least whilst you are in the relationship you have a little control, except you dont but the manipulation has made you feel that way.

I would say I am a fairly strong person, who has coped with more than many and I was a victim. I didnt walk away, I dont think that makes me a terrible, selfish person. I think it makes me a victim of a terrible selfish person.

If my post sounded harsh to you then I am honestly sorry, I really didn't mean for it to come across that way.

Like I said domestic abuse does honestly confuse me, I admit I cant understand why you just wouldn't walk away, and even more so when there are children involved, personally I think my children would make me even more likely to get out of that situation as soon as it arose.

I'm not judging anyone in that situation and am not saying that it is a 'choice' that anyone has made, just that it is something I don't understand and suppose I never would unless I was put into that situation. I'm also not saying that I don't have sympathy with those who do go through it. I know that probably makes me ignorant when it comes to domestic abuse and like I said earlier I may well react differently if it were to happen to me, just at this present time the only reaction I can ever imagine myself having is to get out and to never return.

 

[NuKe]

Am I the only one who thinks this is total rubbish? If she has a secret identity how do they know this...

 

[NuKe]

I think people forget that she didn't actually kill anybody. Save the hate for Huntley.

She was guilty of not much more than incredible stupidity and gullibility and its costing the taxpayer £££ in protection and new identity because so many people are too thick to see the difference between that and cold blooded child murder. I hardly think her crime warrants sterilisation.

TOTALLY agree.

 

[Snuffy]

Am I the only one who thinks this is total rubbish? If she has a secret identity how do they know this...

Well that's the thing isn't it? Why do the gutter press have to keep dragging it up over and over again.

I will not presume to second guess how the Wells and Chapman families feel and think it would be insulting to claim to try, but I do think they probably don't need the wounds reopening by these hate filled rags every time Maxine Carr breaks wind.

Many people on this thread have said how do you think they will feel about her having a child when theirs were snatched away. They shouldn't KNOW that she has had one, none of us should.

Basically, they can't get at Huntley so they'll do the next best thing and whip the public up into a hysterical frenzy over Carr once again.

 

[cinnamum]

everyone has the right to have a child, yes what she did was wrong but, she didn't kill anyone, she just told a lie to try help the man she loved.
she did her time for it! yes it is a HUGE thing for the child to bare but the child may never have to know, its not the same as a murder. she wasn't even in the house when it all took place!