Sorry another routine question???

[chan8180]

Hi sorry this has probably been asked before but can anyone offer advice on 11 week old babies routines?? Did yours follow growth spurts on que for actual age?? Im expecting the 12 week one soon but the thought of that with how things are at the moment makes me want to cry.

My OH is working near permanent nights so im doing it all by myself at the moment and trying to keep the twins and a toddler entertained all day so he can sleep is bloody exhausting. I dont know whats happening to my boys routine but they are all over the place, feeding sperately no matter how hard i try waking the other and just basically fussing all night. I had a grand total of 90 mins inbetween each feed last night and that was from start to finish so sleep was actually about 40.

I would'nt mind if they took a full feed but is seems to be more comfort or a quick drink, i tried offering a bottle instead of breast but it make no differnce they only take an ounce before falling back sleep. Ive also tried FF them the last feed at 10/11pm, Offering them feeds all day,trying another ff bottle in the afternoon but nothing seems to be making the nights any better?? Im really at the end of my tether and my toddler is being constantly woken up and having the most awful tantrums all day which i think is a lot to do with tiredness.

I got the baby wisperer book from Amazon but its really thin and has no mention of rountines? did i get the wrong one??

OH is back on nights tonight and after having him at home the last few days im really down about the week ahead, i just thought it would be easier by now

Any suggestions on routines will be greatly appreciated?? Lizzie can you please offer any suggestions?

Oh another thing what does formula fed babies poo look like? Mine seem to be pooing less and its gone into a thicker greenier texture and stinks now? thinking it may be the formula im sneaking in now or perhaps this is why they are unsettled maybe a upset tummy? their trumps seem to really smell too??

Thanks ladies x

 

[lizziedripping]

Omg Chan hun, I am dreadful, I need to reply to you!!! So sorry - been manic few weeks with colds and tummy bugs, still, no excuse. Thanks for the nudge, will reply this afternoon when bubbas are sleeping xxx

 

[auntcarrie]

The nights are hard for the first few months... I remember moving my girls into their cribs around 11 weeks and one night having S just cry cry cry... I walked her up & down the hall and when my husband came out to check on us, I started crying too, saying "She is NEVER going to sleep in her crib!!!"

But it was around this time that I started keeping track of their routines. We were feeding every 3 hours anyway so that wasn't hard to track, but I'd keep track of when they slept, and where. After 3 or 4 days I could kind of see how I could try and 'guide' them into a routine. It took a while but by the time they went to daycare at 15 weeks, I could explain their "schedule" and approximately when they'd nap, eat, etc. Granted, they didn't start sleeping thru the night until 10 months, but it very gradually got better...

Best of luck! The ladies on this forum always offer the best advice!

 

[RainbowGift]

We really all need to stick together and we will get through this! XOXOXO
I've been having a hard time lately, too. It's such a roller-coaster. Since they were born I have gone through periods of: "I am so amazing (lol) look at what I am accomplishing! TWO babies and I am doing a great job." and then: "I feel sick in my soul, how am I going to do this? Is this the rest of my life, worry, stress and no sleep?" Right when it gets at it's worst, the better attitude and better moments slowly start to come back again.


This is a looooong post. Don't read this next paragraph to save time... it's just a "woe is me" paragraph:
My twins were born at just about 33 weeks gestation. We spent a month in the NICU, where I slept on a chair in their room and cared for them 24/7. I put a lot of pressure on myself, not to let the nurses care for my babies in the ways I should and not to let the babies ever have formula. My body was WRECKED. I could barely walk and my wrists both felt broken from the carpel tunnel I got with the pregnancy, my fingers were either numb (try snapping up baby clothes with numb fingers) or in excruciating pain (I have high tolerance). My normally low blood pressure shot up to dangerous levels and my doctor wanted to put me on medicine. That's when I let the nurses help more, I was so scared of medicine tainting my breast milk. The doctor gave me a few days to get the numbers down. Then, my son had a problem with his heart (SVT) so my blood pressure didn't lower. Doctor let me have a few more days when I begged. I refused visitors (something that stresses me right now) and accepted help from nurses and slept. Got the bp under control!

Now, we have been home for a month. I feed them every 3 1/2 hours, recently changed from 3. I have a huge dry erase board up, which helps me A LOT. I write down times for feedings, time for vitamins or medicine, weights, last time they bathed etc. I can't remember things right now, lack of sleep.... so this board is everything to me. What I do is: Change my son, feed him with a bottle of expressed bm that has a dash of preemie fortifier in it (phosphorus etc) burp him (takes forever sometimes) put him down in co-sleeper.... Change my daughter, feed her from breast or bottle (she is better at breast than he is, but soon they will both have only breast in the daytime) put her down... Hook myself up to the dreaded pump (makes me want to cry most of the time) pump for 30-60 minutes depending on the flow (its so hard to keep up with the growing demand for more supply). All this takes about two hours. Sometimes at that point, I change another diaper if need be. Then, I eat something (I'm always hungry right now), check the computer, wash breast pump elements and bottles, put in a load of dirty diapers or dirty clothes etc. Time FLIES by and its time to start with the babies again. At night, my husband comes in and gives bottles for two feedings. I still have to get up and pump for both feedings and I am the one left in the room when he puts them down (I have to deal with them when they wake, he is sleeping somewhere else so that at least on of us is rested and sane) but it is very helpful when he gives bottles during these times.

My plan is: When my daughter reaches 11lbs I will start every 3 hours again during the day and then not wake them for feeds at night and see if they go longer than 3 1/2 hours. Right now they usually wake at that time and they also wake when they are passing gas or trying to have bowel movements (they really struggle with those, do all babies?), but they are sometimes sound asleep and we wake them.

We need to tell ourselves that we have gotten this far. We have done it. It has not been pretty at times (BOTH babies crying and needing me???? What do I doooooooooooo? I am so tired and stressed WHY wont he bend his knee so I can put this outfit on him?????????) But, there are mich more precious and calm times and time is passing faster than we know. Find a phrase or a song to sing when you are loosing it. I use "groose fraba", from the movie "Anger Management" lol, I sing it in a high voice. We ARE doing this and its going to get better. The more we can find the calm and happy feeling, in the midst of all this, the more calm and happy the babies will be. WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS HARD TIME. Love to all of you, so much love to all of you.

 

[RainbowGift]

Thinking about you, Chan. Are you hanging in there? xo

 

[chan8180]

Thinking about you, Chan. Are you hanging in there? xo

Hi yes thank you had some pretty bad nights so lovely sister offered to take babies for the night the other night!! Its taken her 12 weeks for me to agree and relax when having them and did me the world of good.

It sounds like you've been having a pretty hard time, any advice i can give you is take any help on offer and don be affraid to ask. Im still learning that lesson myself and its really hard to let go especially as i can me a bit of a control freak lol. I am really finding nights hard but am starting to make a diary of feed times and try to work out with my HV what is going wrong as im now having nights of them waking every hour to 90 mins.

Ive also had one twin who struggled with breastfeeding, got him better but he has decided to go fussy again, probably as he had had a permanent cold for 9 weeks so finding it easier with the bottle. I made the decision last night to just bottle feed him EBM and formula now. Its been 12 weeks and should be much easier now not going back a step. Took a while for me to accept this but i know deep down he would do much better and maybe stop grazing and make nights easier (fingers crossed!)

Still after all my moans i would'nt change them the little monkeys

 

[FatKat]

Firstly that there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!!! I have 16 week old twins and a newly turned 3 year old toddler and thankfully they sleep through the night 8 till 8. I'm a firm believer in routine and what worked for my daughter has worked for them. They have a bottle and are swaddled with their music and visual thingy and go down between 8 and 9 and usual wriggle about 6.30ish, the dummy is then popped back in and they go fall back to asleep again until 8/8.30sh. I'm not sure if mine sleep so well cause they were born with a good birth weight but they now weigh 15 and 18 Ilbs.

 

[RainbowGift]

Chan, I am a bit of a control freak, too. lol I put great responsibility on myself. When I let the nurses help me, that was a big step and an important one. You made a big step letting your sister help and I'm so glad you are feeling better for it. I've been contemplating using bottles for EBM again, I just got it so that they drink from my breast in the day and from the bottles at night, so that my husband can still help. But, like yours, one of mine is now fussing at the breast again. It's SO stressful when you are on such a tight routine and one baby is crying and squirming, hungry but not taking the breast and time is passsssssing while the other one nears her time to eat and starts fussing but you have not gotten past square one with the first.

Last feed, I gave in and expressed into a bottle so that he was fed and I could get to her. *sigh*

Also, she is having troubles digesting. She screams in discomfort after she eats and she is not having bms. I've been talking to her doctor a lot about this. Its SO HARD to hear a baby suffering. Even harder when you don't have four arms, but do have two babies. I'm feeling anxiety.

I think maybe I'm with you- and I'll express for a while longer, even though I have been looking forward to the freedom of only breast feeding. I'll know how much they are getting and I'll be able to get it to them in a timely fashion.

Keep up the good work and wish me luck. I wish you PEACE and quiet, lovely times with your twins.

 

[RainbowGift]

Fatcat, I cried when I read "there is a light at the end of the tunnel". The good kind of "letting it out" "washing it away" tears. THANK YOU for taking the time to write. xo

 

[FatKat]

Fatcat, I cried when I read "there is a light at the end of the tunnel". The good kind of "letting it out" "washing it away" tears. THANK YOU for taking the time to write. xo

We've all been there and thankfully it's forums like this that have helped me keep my sanity Glad you had a good kind of cry and hope you are feeling better x