The wound is still raw.
I lost my baby at 18 weeks, I stopped feeling him move and after 3 days of a waiting game I went to the Hospital where they confirmed no heartbeat. I was induced and delivered him. It was the most soul destroying thing I ever experienced. I agreed on post mortem and will have to get some tests done on me to see what went wrong. 2 days after I was discharged from hospital I developed a huge infection in my breasts, they became red, sore, hard and absolutely hot to touch, I am sure you could have fried eggs on them. I have been put on 4 lots of meds, 2 of which are antibiotics. But this is just physical side of it...
It has only been 4 days, I am still hormonal and cry every day, I feel like I am losing my mind sometimes. Everything reminds me of my baby, my house, my mums house, the clothes I wore when I was pregnant, the food I craved, music I listened, my belly which is still big but now empty.
After 4 years of TTC, 3 IVF's and at the age of 36 this was my first long waited pregnancy. All I want now is to be pregnant again.
I feel like I need to talk this over and over again and then I might be able to move on.
I lost my baby at 18 weeks, I stopped feeling him move and after 3 days of a waiting game I went to the Hospital where they confirmed no heartbeat. I was induced and delivered him. It was the most soul destroying thing I ever experienced. I agreed on post mortem and will have to get some tests done on me to see what went wrong. 2 days after I was discharged from hospital I developed a huge infection in my breasts, they became red, sore, hard and absolutely hot to touch, I am sure you could have fried eggs on them. I have been put on 4 lots of meds, 2 of which are antibiotics. But this is just physical side of it...
It has only been 4 days, I am still hormonal and cry every day, I feel like I am losing my mind sometimes. Everything reminds me of my baby, my house, my mums house, the clothes I wore when I was pregnant, the food I craved, music I listened, my belly which is still big but now empty.
After 4 years of TTC, 3 IVF's and at the age of 36 this was my first long waited pregnancy. All I want now is to be pregnant again.
I feel like I need to talk this over and over again and then I might be able to move on.
there is nothing worse than loosing your baby and to endure birth it is horrendous!
This experience I can say literally almost killed me.. I finally got my girl at the age of 40.. I couldn't believe it, we were not trying and I was done as my 3 boys were older 20, 18 and 11.. I was so happy, finally having that relationship that I never had with my mother. I dreamed of moments with Ava, I dreamed of being her mother and her best friend as she got older. I chose to give birth to her, it happened not when I expected it, in my bathroom, but I would not have changed it for anything, anything 
