Staying with smokers for a few days...

[Lirpa11]

Hi,

I will be 11-12 weeks pregnant when I stay with my mother and her partner for 2.5 days, or 3 nights.

I'm a bit worried as her and her partner are heavy smokers. I used to live with them as a kid and the house would be filled with smoke, unless they smoke outside now. I'm just a it unsure, as I know they smoke a bit and it will be on their clothes, furniture, bedding etc.

I will only be there a few days, and I would like to stay with her as I am leaving Australia to live in the United States. I am not sure when I will be back but will be a year to a year and a half before I'm back. She is really looking forward to it as well.

So I'm wondering, how would you approach the situation? Do I say that I am worried about the smoking and ask her to not smoke in her house for a few days at least before I get there (I don't know that I can ask this as it is her house, not mine). Do I just see how I go and have a hotel in mind in case the smoke is too much to handle (this is DHs solution)? Do I stay outside and keep windows open etc and just limit exposure if possible? I know she will be courteous, such as not smoking in my face etc so I'm not worried about that

I honestly don't know. I don't want to upset or insult her, but I also don't want to be living in a cloud of smoke for 2 days with a 11-12 week old fetus growing... Then again it's only a few days and some people live with this all the time and choose to smoke as well (that's their choice), I'm just unsure as hubby and I don't smoke and we don't really have anyone else around us who smokes other than his mom and she always smokes outside her house and you can't tell there's a smoker in her house. I know my mom will be a different story though, then again maybe I am making a mountain out of a mow hill

Anyhow, anyone have any experience to help me out with how your situation went? Or just settle my worries?

Thanks

 

[Lirpa11]

Hmmm, now I think about it I'm just overreacting. I know my mom will take into consideration any of my concerns, and if anything smoke outside away from me to limit it, and make her partner do the same...

I'm sure I will be fine, and if I voice my opinion she will do anything to accommodate me.

 

[mum140381]

personally i would just say something like the smoke will make me a bit sick so would they mind smoking outside i am sure they wont take any offense i dont think a few days will do your lo any harm but i would not really like it. i am sure they will understand xx

 

[Lirpa11]

Thanks, I think I'm just stressing as a lot is happening right now.

 

[mel28nicole]

I was in a similar situation when I was pregnant. My MIL is VERY stubborn when it comes to smoking and couldn't give a rats ass who she did it around (except young children, which it shouldn't matter how old, she shouldn't smoke around them but whatever). She is very oblivious to second hand and third hand smoke. Anytime she has given me clothing for DD I explain to her I have to re-wash them because they smell like smoke so bad. Even now when she goes out to smoke, she still smells like it very badly but to her, just spraying some perfume seems to "fix the problem." Anyway, while I was pregnant it got to the point that I really couldn't be around the smoke, it bothered me very much. So she choose to smoke upstairs rather than downstairs. Being a little considerate I guess, but I've just come to the conclusion that heavy smokers just don't give a shit and will do what they want. I am happy she doesn't smoke around DD, I just hope that continues when she is older.

 

[TTC First]

I agree with you that you are over thinking it. This is her grandchild, I am sure that if she does not think to go outside she will be more than happy to if you remind her that it is an issue. I would just mention it before going though.