Stepdad to my DD and this one his 1st child

[purpleshark]

I've been with my partner for 3 years in may. My daughter, who is 7 calls him dad and he's been a great dad to her. Much better than her father ever was or could be. He can be quite strict with her though, telling her off for things that I would normally just speak to her about. She looks grumpy/sad when he does and I know she probably needs it at times. I hate seeing her sad (softy, but do tell her off when needed)
Now I'm 38 weeks pregnant I'm starting to wonder what it will be like once we have this baby. Will he change towards my DD, will he get stricter? I can only go on my own experience of having a stepdad and it was horrible. He changed not long after my sister came along. But then he wasn't a very nice person anyway. My DD and OH have a great relationship most of the time.
Sorry for the long post.

 

[MrsGards]

Hmm, I cant offer any advice as im in a similar situation. My dd is also 7 and my husband who ive been with for 6 years is her step dad. My oh can be strict but is usually as much of a pain in the ass as she is. He's the one who usually gets her in trouble by prolonging bedtime, playing chase and tickles when she's meant to be reading and just generally being annoying. I'll be stalking this thread as I was hoping he might become a bit more serious and "grown up"!!

 

[AlesiaNicole]

Very similar situation here too. My DS is from my first marriage and my DH is a great step-dad to him. But he is a bit more strict than I am. Not only am I worried that he'll change the way he acts towards my son but he'll also be way easier on our baby because it's a girl and my son will pick up on that too. Luckily we've been through a lot of parenting struggles since we started co-parenting together and have gotten pretty good at talking through things, even if it doesn't fully solve them. I'm just hoping that will pull us through.

 

[rotts05]

I think it really depends on the man. Me and my oh have been together 4 years, my dd is 7. We have a 2 year old and another due in 4 weeks.
He has always been fab with my eldest and our 2 year olds arrival didn't change that at all. They are still as thick as thieves now.
I have always insisted that any 'telling off' of my dd comes from me. She is a good girl and rarely needs it but i do feel that's my job rather than his.
Im not worried at all this time with anything changing and she certainly doesn't feel left out, she thinks she's really lucky to have 2 dads.

 

[iwantabub]

I can kind of comment as im in your oh situation...

I have three step children. ..
Sometimes I can be a bit stricter with the kids than dh just because I think as a step parent u can almost detatch yourself a little and look at things from an outside perspecitve... things that dh doesnt always tell the kids off for I will sometimes coz I can see its not acceptable...
As parents u have so much love for yojr children and sometimes it can cloud your judgement when theyre naughty...

Eg... our 9yo a few years ago was lying to mum and dad and me and making up stories about both sides as she felt she wasnt getting any attention. .. both parents didnt see what was going on until I pointed it out and we all sorted the probelm... the point being sometimes mummies and daddies see their kids not doing anything wrong and it takes an "outsider" to see the clay from mud.

Sayin that I always sit down with them and explain why they did wrong and why its not ok... then if they do it again they will get in trouble.

Being a step parent is the hardest thing ive ever had to do... it may seem easy coz who wouldn't love kids right? .. but when your biological child tests you to the limits its one thing... when someone elses does it can be the.most fristrating thing ever... especially as usually in any scenario two parents usually have different ideas on parenting anyway...

My advice is to sit down with your oh and explain exactly how u feel...my dh did with me as he thought I was a bit harsh on our middle dd .. she was being a right pain... which the kids arent usually and I was probbaly a tad overzealous and sent her to her room etc...
We talked and all was ok... just have a chat...see what his thoughts are and come to an agreement like how u want your dd told off etc... im sure he will be ok with it

 

[mamichulo5]

Well I was in similar situation 11 happy yrs. ago, I had my DS1 when I was 17 and met DH when I was 20 and he really took on the daddy role(having no kids of his own) with DS and was strict on everything(depends on the man)that I would let him get away with(he was my baby). So naturally(not knowing what a dad is supposed to be like, giving I never knew mines) being scared and wondered if when we had a child together would he change towards my DS(happily he didn't)and now we have 3 DD's together and a DS2 on the way. Our son(my DH adopted him) is now 13 yrs.old and very responsible and well rounded young man, thanks to his dad and I could not ask for a better person to show them all the waycry...yes right now I am a softie!!!, So just trust in your judgement of what a good father is supposed to be and hope you hit the jackpot !!! OAN: If they catch him on a good day, he is a softie(gives them the "well do you deserve it?" talk and still give it to them)

 

[MomPepperdine]

My dh came into our lifes when dd1 was like 3 mo old (I used to joke he was only with me for my kid haha) he is dad if anyone says other I think he would punch them in the face whn we had dd2 he was proud but his love for dd1 did not change he was a happy dad of two little girls. He treats them just the same

 

[chammydoodle]

Im in the same situation my little girl is 7 and my oh as been a fantastic step dad to her he can be strict at times and can also get into all sorts of trouble with her then im the 1 shouting at them both haha, this baby will be his first and is a little boy (he really wanted a boy) so im really worried that hes going to favour his own child a lot more iv spoken to him about how i feel and he understands where im coming from and insists nothing will change but its still on my mind! my little girl is showing signs of being jelous already and i really hope things will work out and be ok only time will tell though i guess?