Sterious Advice needed.

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by onyxangel21, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. onyxangel21

    onyxangel21 Well-Known Member

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    :( So My sister is 16 and she is a really good and extremely intelligent girl... but since I moved away (I live in England now and my family still lives in America) and she's been growing up without an older sister to guide her I feel as though she's changed alot and not for the good... She has facebook and all I read is guys making suspicious comments towards her. I know here in England 16 is the age where girls "think" they are adults when clearly they arent .. in the States where I'm originally from "16 = child" ad personally I think that is right... therefore my parents treat accordingly as a child. She has this stupid little friend that she goes to her house and now I'm concerned as to what she's been getting up to over there. As a boy wrote something responding to my sister calling this boy a man h_e and he said something along the line of you are one to talk remember (name of her best friends) house???

    Which makes me think they are up to no good. Should I tell my parents about this I think this friend is an extremely bad influence on my sister and I keep seeing weird notes like this (yes I snoop that my job) which is making more and more worried.
     
  2. Ilovemychild

    Ilovemychild Well-Known Member

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    Hmm. Thats a tough one. :( I would tell your parents to make sure that they are staying involved in her life (for her safety)... but I would be careful of getting too involved. I know that as a teen, my goal in life was to rebel and anyone who tried to pull me in, instantly became my enemy. As her big sister, you want her to feel as though she can come to you with anything, guilt free. Do your best to be a positive influence on her, but make sure that she knows that love her and you don't judge her. 16 is a rough age. At 16, I was having sex, I was drinking and I was into some bad stuff. I was trying to find myself, and trying to fit in with my peers. My parents were very strict and very conservative, so I knew I couldn't talk to them. I was the oldest, so I had no siblings to look up to or to divert my attention to. I knew my parents wouldn't offer me any advice or take any proactive steps to help me, they would ground me and chastise me for the life I was living. So I found it easier to just keep on living my life and hope they would just leave me alone.

    Teenagers are very headstrong and you have to be careful with how you treat/ talk to them.

    I'm sorry that you are in this situation, in fact, im in slightly the same boat. My brother is 20, but has special needs. He is trying to find out who he is, what he wants out of life, and longs to be accepted and is willing to do whatever it takes to make friends.

    The best advice I can offer you is exactly what I do with him, make it a point to call her, or IM her on facebook. Ask her whats been going on, tell her you miss her, that you love her and that you want her to talk to you about life in general. She might have questions or confessions for you, just doesn't want to take that first step. Reach out to her... but dont be mad.. and dont bring up the things that you've seen. Let HER talk to YOU!!! It might make all the difference. Good luck!!!
     
  3. tallybee

    tallybee DS '04, DD '06, DD '15

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    I agree with the above. At 16 years old I was working full time and living in a flat with my then bf and paying my own way, looking after myself. At that age the worst thing is feeling like ppl are going over your head and going to your parents!
     

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