Still working while my daughter is in the NICU...

[Foogirl]

Totally agree. How often do dads come looking for support? And one comes in and gets the same treatment we see on other parts of the board. That was never our way in here and it shouldn't be now. There are much gentler ways of suggesting supportiveness of your OH.

My OH came in here in the early days when his head was all over the place. Thank goodness he was treated with sensitivity.

 

[kit10grl]

My husband never came here but I am worried the first few posts scared this poor man away from ever,posting again asthey were so negative and he hasn't responded to the rest of the thread. That would be awful to have pushed someone out when they came here looking for help. Other nicu parents should know better

 

[sunnylove]

erm... maybe because that is exactly what he said ^ I dont need to put words in his mouth its a direct quote

I dont understand that attitude and never will from a parent, its your child they ALWAYS come first

I'm sorry you don't understand that kind of attitude. Like a previous poster mentioned, I never wanted to be at the hospital either when I was there. I wanted to be with my son, yes. But there wasn't much I could do. And I'm not trying to judge but it doesn't sound to me like you had a long term NICU stay and so probably don't understand how draining it is long-term.

 

[Foogirl]

Yes, that's a very good point there Sunnylove. Each stay in NNICU is different, and experienced in a different way. I wouldn't say a long stay is harder than a short one, or that a 24 weeker is more challenging than a full termer, NNICU can be traumatic no matter how much time you spend in there. But each parent, each family, each baby has a totally different type of journey and how we all cope with it is a very personal thing. And it's that reason we don't judge folk on how they react to it. It's one thing to say "I couldn't leave my baby". But quite another to say "You shouldn't want to leave yours"

 

[sunnylove]

Foogirl, exactly. I know that short-term NICU stays can be just as traumatic. But if my son was in the NICU for only 1-2 weeks, I would probably be there with him 12 hours a day knowing it will be over soon. But when you know you're going to be in NICU for at LEAST 3 months, those ideas go out the window, and that's what I think some sort-term NICU parents don't understand. It doesn't make us bad parents.

 

[JJKCB]

and you know sweet FA about me or my experiences, you read one quick thing on my signature and assume you know my whole life... you also dont seem to have any grasp on what its like to leave a child at the hospital and have the pass on before you get back (its something you never come back from) and for the record the 'i dont like hospitals' is the stupid excuse ever come on who does like them but do whatever you like its you that is risking it not me

Im leaving this now because im going to end up saying something that cant be taken back if you keep pushing with self involved crap and assuming shit about my life that you know sweet fuck all about because I can pretty much guarantee you I have spent longer in hospitals than anyone of yous (and still am btw) and have far more reasons than the average person to hate them but would never put that before my child ffs

 

[AP]

May I please remind all of the forum rules

Rudeness, flaming or trolling is not tolerated on, or about, BabyandBump or its members. Any member who is intentionally disruptive may have their account restricted or banned without warning.