struggles with DH over getting assisted fertility

[amysueno]

AF again today - like clock work (damn it!).

We've been trying naturally since 6/11. Both of us have been checked out and have been labeled "unexplained infertility". (Doc did not give us the numbers but said DH's SA was "within healthy range". I have had blood draws pelvic ultra sounds & pelvic ultrasound with lavage.) Both of my sisters and countless TTC buddies have gotten pregnant since we've been trying.

DH thinks the fertility center we visited before was trying to take advantage of my desperation to conceive to make a buck and does not trust them. I told him this am that I'd like to try assisted fertility maybe with another clinic or doctor. He said, "that sounds like a lot more stress that would not help". I know the research that says fertility treatments work for many. I also know some of the many that they've worked for. But I can't do this without him!

He thinks our trouble is all about my stress levels. I have taken up meditation, I work out regularly - I'm doing what I can to deal with stress. We have tried through vacations, his unemployment, and many other variations in stress levels.

Any one have trouble getting their DH on board for fertility treatments? Any one have DH telling them it's their stress that's causing the infertility? I hate feeling so alone.

 

[jack79]

TTC is a difficult journey for a couple. Try to talk honestly about how u both feel. Men see things differently to women and in my experience tend to bury their head in the sand when there are problems.
I hate when people go on about stress like its the be all and end all. Im not convinced everyday stresses cause infertility.
I hope things sort themselves out for u and ur DH
X

 

[Molae06]

It took a long time to get my dh on board with fertility treatments, his reasoning was all about not wanting to spend the money. Now I am struggling to get him on board with IVF, finally got him on board but he wants to wait until September when we are in our new house. (I keep telling him I want to be pregnant by the time we are in our new house!) Maybe you can talk him into going to an initial meeting with a fertility specialist and after seeing what that dr has to say, maybe he will feel that the new dr has your best interest in mind.

 

[Pino6161]

It is actually a proven medical fact that stress levels have no effect on TTC that is a myth. With that said me and my OH struggle with the same thing. OH feels that his "manhood" is at stake for needing help making a baby.

Men don't stress about these things like we do. They have to have sex (oh bummer....) when we tell them too. Meanwhile we have to keep our bodies in shape, take vitamins, take temperatures, pee on sticks and after all that have to bleed out of our vaginas for 5 days before starting again. It is a lot. Men don't quite understand to the extent of our stress. There is no fathomable way to "relax".

BUT men are very prideful. It is so so hard to explain why they can't except help, they just have trouble with it.

You have been trying a long time. Look up TTC myths and it will show your OH that stressing is part of life, and not effecting anything. It is time for him to sit down and listen. It is time to try something different if you want a family, and it might be your only chance. Play the pity card, as men usually cave in. I know it sounds minipulative, but sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do

I hope this made sense

 

[hunnybump]

I think i'm in the same situation kind of. My issue is i have a very low amount of good quality eggs which means my time is running out and i need to get pregnant ASAP. The solution that was given was IUI or IVF and we have to pay everything out of pocket insurance covers nothing! With IUI it's cheaper but i may not ovulate any good eggs that can even fertilize. With IVF they can retrieve lets say 15 eggs but not one of them is a good quality egg so my options are already a lower percent rate for it to work because i may not have the main ingrediate the egg lol. We can't really afford either one IUI is cheaper but the percent rate is lower. My hubby wants me to check again with the insurance to see if it covers anything which i already know it doesn't. I don't think he wants to try any treatment because there isn't really a point if i don't ovulate a good egg and there is no way of knowing if i will or any way to make me ovulate a good egg. He might let us try IUI one time but that's probably our only treatment chance which sucks i wish i was rich and could just afford to do IVF every cycle.

Oh and my hubby thinks stress is a main factor too. Grrr I wasn't even really stressing before i found out anything was wrong, i was concerned but not really thinking about it.