Struggling and tempted to give up

[gypsy1981]

my little girl is 17 days old today and I'm so tempted to give up on breastfeeding. People have assured me from the start that it gets easier but it just isn't! She's waking every 60-90 mins at night for a feed, is taking 2-3 hours to settle at bedtime as she cluster feeds like crazy and screams at me every time she drains a breast, seems constantly hungry and distressed, cries literally every second that she's not eating or sleeping and is sapping every ounce of my energy and every second of my time. I'm struggling to get any time with my older daughter as I constantly have her attached to me...

I just want to give up and switch her to formula but feel so guilty if I do. I never breastfed my older daughter as she would never latch on so I know that she'll do just fine on formula but I can't help thinking that I'll regret it if I give up as this is my last child so my last chance to get it right.

Does anyone please have any advice on when it gets easier or how I can settle her into a routine?

 

[leash27]

I know people keep saying it to you but it really does get easier, I promise! If I am completely honest, it wasn't til my DD was about 6 weeks old that I really felt that way though. Prior to that, I regularly wanted to give up and I am so glad that I never as we are 7 months in and still BF!

I can't give you much advice on a routine as my DD has only recently established one and I have more or less just let her lead the way. What I will say is that I quickly learnt to accept this was how it would it be and it made me less frustrated iykwim? I understood that some evenings she wanted to feed for 5 or 6 hours at a time so I got myself comfy and made sure I had plenty of snacks and something good to watch on TV. My DH was amazing, he cooked most of our meals and brought me drinks etc so I could just focus on myself and my LO.

Now, our feeds are so short - literally minutes sometimes and I do miss those long lazy feeding and cuddling sessions. I never BF my DS for very long and when I think back I do really regret it as I have really loved it this time.

Remember, if you do decide to switch to formula then it isn't the end of the world. If you feel like you have given it your absolute best then that is all you can do!

X

 

[Izzie74]

My lo sounds very similar to yours. I get so frustrated sitting on sofa or bed and feeding feeding feeding. I'm looking forward to the magic 6 week point that people often mention as being a turning point as we feed every hour or two as well. That means minimal sleep for me too, but my oh still wants me to cook etc as I'm home all day. There just isn't the time ...

 

[staralfur]

I would suggest getting a sling or carrier so you can feed on the go if you need to do something with your older daughter.

Also look into safe co sleeping guidelines, it will make night time feeds way easier.

 

[Foxy37]

My lo is now 15 months and im still bf . The first 6 weeks are the hardest . Go to a bf support group they really help . Dtink loads and have food at hand . It is time consuming and can be tireing but its the best thing for you and your baby . No having to go make formula in the night or hawling bottles out on day trips xxx

 

[Rhapsodi]

Check for tongue/lip ties too. Although it could be normal for her (right now) it's possible she is not efficiently feeding. Doesn't hurt to look, and might help.

 

[gypsy1981]

Thanks for your replies. I'm feeling slightly less emotional about it all today as I got two stretches of 3 hours sleep last night so I'm not quite as exhausted. Breastfeeding is such hard work yet the breastfeeding classes that you attend during pregnancy make out that it's the easiest thing in the world. I think they need to be more honest with pregnant women so that they know what to expect and don't think that they're doing it all wrong.

Staralfur - I have a sling but she's still not very good at staying latched on on her own. I have to hold my breast in position or she just lets go and cries. I think this will improve when her neck control gets a bit better (hopefully).

Izzie74 - I know exactly what you mean. It takes up so much time and is so frustrating not being able to move around and do stuff. I feel like I'm wishing her life away counting down to 6 weeks.

Leash27 - thanks so much for your post. You're right it really isn't the end of the world if we do make the switch and I need to remember that. There is far too much guilt put on mums these days and it really isn't anyone else's business how we bring our children up. The long feeds wouldn't be so much of a problem if she didn't get so frustrated inbetween. I sometimes feel like she's just not getting enough from me as she seems constantly hungry. I'm going to stick it as long as I can and pray that it gets better soon x

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Call La Leche League, they will help you for FREE.

 

[Hippiemomlife]

My little guy is 8 weeks now and things have only gotten worse. Not to scare you, because it may be different for you, but he screams pretty much all the time and every feed is a struggle. He will yank his head back and cry and then grab my nipple like his life depends on it. I tell myself every day that I'm going to switch to formula because I'm so drained. The doctors and midwives insist that he is fine and this is normal, but I sleep probably maximum 5 hours every night - if even that much. Just letting you know that it has not ended for me and like I said, seems to be getting worse at 8 weeks.. i hope the stress ends for you soon

 

[laurarebecca1]

My little girl cluster fed from 6pm til 11/12pm and fed every hour during the day and every 2 hours at night.

Even now at 14 weeks she still feeds every 2 hours in the day (however the feeds are only 8 mins long, 4 mins each side!) and every 2/3 hours at night. It's hard getting anything done but I found doing the EASY (eat, activity, sleep, you) routine helped her space out her feeds.

It honestly does get better. I suffered blood blisters on my nipples and everytime she fed, it was excruciating but I am so glad I carried on. Feeding is so easy now!

Good luck in whatever you decise to do. Remember neither is the wrong choice, it's personal to you

 

[AnonymousCAT]

6 wks corrected age things really started to improve and then by 10 wks it was all much better. Bf was the hardest thing I've ever done in the early weeks, but now it's pretty easy. I'm so happy I stuck with it. I love the special time I share with lo feeding. I never thought I would ever have said that in the early days as I frequently said that I hated it back then. It will get better.

 

[Ruth 1980]

Hang in there! I too hated bf'ing during the first couple of months and had major problems. I kept telling myself "stick it out until 6weeks, it'll be better by then", which it wasn't! Lo was 3 months old by the time I got an appointment with the lactation consultant and then had to wait for PTT snip. I know how hard it can be, and you can definitely do it I agree with pp who suggested LLL groups or if you can get to see an LC that may help too. Good luck with everything! x

 

[pineapple91]

first of all momma you are doing great the first few weeks are brutal I guarantee you it will get better and will be worth it hang in there you can do it

 

[MaisyMay]

It absolutely gets easier and the cluster feeding at night is really normal and completely necessary to get your supply right BUT I would say have her checked for reflux, not settling and constantly seeming hungry can be a sign, it was for my son. He had to be latched 24/7 he never slept and it was because the milk neutralised the acid that was burning his oesophagus my dd started showing the same signs at 4 days, she was started on ranitidine and was soo settled straight away. She breastfeeds like a dream now and I love it xx