Struggling-need support please

[9jawife]

I've had issues nursing my son ever since he was born. I now believe it had to do with my traumatic birth experience. I was planning an unmedicated waterbirth, and ended up with a CS for failure to progress (my water had been broken 36+ hours or I would not have consented to a CS otherwise.) Shouldn't have been a big deal, because we both got through the surgery fine, but it was to me. I was devastated, exhausted, and felt disconnected from my son. I desperately wanted to breast feed but just couldn't get the latching in the hospital. When I did get him latched on, it was horribly painful and the nipples would come out creased. I made the mistake of looking up countless videos and articles online and determined that because my son had a "shallow latch", he must not be getting enough milk. So I would try for hours to get him to take a wide latch, which always ended with me in tears. I thought the problem was my flat nipples, so I tried all kinds of gadgets, from a modified syringe to a nipple shield, to no avail. I saw two in-hospital lactation consultants who said his latch looked "fine" and suggested continuing using the shield if I was in pain. Finally, I contacted a private practice lactation specialist who does cranial-sacral therapy. She did a much more thorough intake and was the only one who assessed his suck with a gloved finger in his mouth. She immediately said "no wonder you're in pain." Said he clamps down because his cord was around his neck twice in utero. After one brief adjustment session, the pain was a lot less. This lasted for several days. But unfortunately he had been extremely tense and gassy (LC thinks he has a casein allergy) and that has resulted in him clamping down again. I have determined to nurse him anyway, but the problem is my supply cannot keep up with his demand. We were formula-free for about four days, until this morning he was nursing and I ran out of milk before he was satisfied. It was devastating. I tried to wait a few hours, even drove around with him in the carseat trying to help him sleep, and nothing worked. I had to resort to the formula again, which killed me. Not only is it crap, but it makes him sick. I don't understand how we could be doing so well and now have this setback. Today I ordered some Domperidone online, against the advice of the lactation specialist (she thinks I don't need it--well what is worse, taking medication that is deemed safe enough to be available OTC in Europe!!, or giving my son formula?) I had to pay $50 for express shipping, but if it works it's worth it. I feel terrible that my emotions about the birth affected my breastfeeding. But I'm so thankful that my son enjoys being at the breast..even when the milk doesn't flow. So I know there is hope. I believe the Dom will work. I can even endure the pain for the rest of our breastfeeding relationship if it means providing him with nourishing milk. Has anyone else struggled like this? Any advice or encouragement?

 

[BigAl]

At this stage your baby will be hungry constantly. Milk works on a supply and demand basis, so you need to put your son to breast as often as possible to stimulate your milk supply.

I don't have any advice regarding the formula top ups, but if you have had the latch checked then you need to spend a few days to allow your son unlimited access to your breast to bump up your supply.

This website may help https://kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing/

 

[DaisyAnne]

I, too, had a bit of a miserable start to breastfeeding, it's so tough when things aren't going well! Does your lactation consultant let you call and ask questions? She would be a great resource about the lower supply.
Topping off with formula is not the end of breastfeeding, nor is it harming your child I felt like a failure every time I had to give formula, but we used it as a last resort in our complicated situation. I constantly kept putting LO on the boob, though, to get the supply going. For me I pumped whenever he got formula so my body would know to increase production, but I was already pumping for entirely different reasons- I wouldn't recommend it unless you have to. It's best to just keep putting them back on the boob so your body will get the memo, you could also try looking up foods to help boost your supply. It will happen with each growth spurt as well, your baby will feed more often for a bit until your supply gets the idea of what's going on and increases production.
In our case, he only got formula top-offs for about 5 weeks here and there, and hasn't had any since!

 

[Debi]

How old is LO? Just remember there is a growth spurt at 3 weeks and that can make it seem like lo isn't getting enough as they nurse constantly, however, they do this to increase your supply. If you give formula, your breasts aren't getting the message to produce more milk so the growth spurt could last longer. You are doing great btw! It is sooo tough at the beginning. Try not to stress too much (easier said than done!), and put lo to the breast as often as you can. All the best sweetie xxx

 

[BunnyN]

Will your LO keep sucking at the breast when it is empty? My LO was a determined sucker and would just suck for hrs if she was still hungry. It worked a treat though because I would always have more milk within 24hrs.

Hugs, you are doing great, you will get there.

 

[9jawife]

How old is LO? Just remember there is a growth spurt at 3 weeks and that can make it seem like lo isn't getting enough as they nurse constantly, however, they do this to increase your supply. If you give formula, your breasts aren't getting the message to produce more milk so the growth spurt could last longer. You are doing great btw! It is sooo tough at the beginning. Try not to stress too much (easier said than done!), and put lo to the breast as often as you can. All the best sweetie xxx

He'll be six weeks on Thursday. Thank you. I went through such a rough time. But it's worth it as we get closer and closer to EBF.

 

[9jawife]

Will your LO keep sucking at the breast when it is empty? My LO was a determined sucker and would just suck for hrs if she was still hungry. It worked a treat though because I would always have more milk within 24hrs.

Hugs, you are doing great, you will get there.

Yes he will, he loves to be at the breast.

 

[9jawife]

UPDATE--I did 24 hours of pumping only, because my nipples were killing so bad. Guess how much I got? 25 ounces! That's up from 18 just a week and a half ago. I guess my LC was right that all I really need is consistent stimulation. (Motherlove tincture and oatmeal certainly doesn't hurt!) I was hoping, though, that the pain would be better after the break. It's not. Any suggestions? There is apparently nothing I can do to convince my LO to open his mouth wide. My technique has been checked by three outpatient LCs, including my current one, and they all determined I am doing my part correctly. Do you think nipple cream would help with the pain?

 

[BunnyN]

It sounds like you are doing great! Nipple cream will likely help a loads if the pain is caused from chapped skin. But some pain is from breasts being full and nipples being sensitive and in my case tugged on a lot, that you just have to put up with untill it settles. Cold and/or hot compresses can help.

 

[lanaross]

remember that all newborns/infants go through huge growth spurts ALL the time. 6 weeks was actually the most brutal one for me personally. Just when you think you're out of the woods, here comes another one. They literally attach themselves non-stop. It doesn't mean you won't have enough milk, it means they are helping you to regulate your supply. 2-3 days of constant feeding and your supply is absolutely back on track with his needs.
As far as nipple pain go, sorry hun but it just comes with breastfeeding. After about a month or two, your nipples will harden and it won't be as bad. Do make sure your LO opens wide and sucks on the areola not on your nipple but other than that, it's just the way it is. It will certainly get better so very soon!

 

[FAB mama]

Has anyone suggested to drink extra water? I was encouraged to drink tons, with every feeding at least they say. But as the others said, keep attempting to feed and the milk will come. Also if you are tense or upset, the baby may struggle more with the milk letdown. As hard as it may be, try to relax.

 

[DaisyAnne]

With the pain you are talking about, we dealt with some bad pain for a bit (I mentioned we had difficulties- one of them being a tongue tie, which just meant he bit my nipple until we got the tongue snipped), and one of the ways I dealt with the pain was feeding one breast per feed to give the other one a break. We still only do one breast per feed, and my body is just used to that.
I would definitely try some nipple cream, though! And some ppl used to tell me to put a cold pack on the nipple for a few minutes before he fed to numb it slightly. Oh! And those gel soothies (we used the Lansinoh brand) were the best for us! I bought 2 pairs, so I could always have one in the fridge.

 

[9jawife]

Has anyone suggested to drink extra water? I was encouraged to drink tons, with every feeding at least they say. But as the others said, keep attempting to feed and the milk will come. Also if you are tense or upset, the baby may struggle more with the milk letdown. As hard as it may be, try to relax.

Yep, I've always been a great water drinker. Will try to relax more.

 

[9jawife]

With the pain you are talking about, we dealt with some bad pain for a bit (I mentioned we had difficulties- one of them being a tongue tie, which just meant he bit my nipple until we got the tongue snipped), and one of the ways I dealt with the pain was feeding one breast per feed to give the other one a break. We still only do one breast per feed, and my body is just used to that.
I would definitely try some nipple cream, though! And some ppl used to tell me to put a cold pack on the nipple for a few minutes before he fed to numb it slightly. Oh! And those gel soothies (we used the Lansinoh brand) were the best for us! I bought 2 pairs, so I could always have one in the fridge.

Ok, so the gel pads are good? I'll have to pick some of those up, too.

 

[patch2006uk]

Does the pain last throughout the entire feed? How are Lo's nappies?

The 6 week growth spurt is huge, so I imagine most of your LO's behaviours can be put down to that, assuming that he's weeing and pooing plenty (although don't be alarmed if the poo rate slows down from this week onwards - it's normal for them to reduce frequency around 6 weeks). Also, don't put too much weight on the amount you can express. It will vary day to day, hour to hour. As long as LO is weeing, pooing and gaining weight, then you don't have supply issues. It's also normal to be able to express less after 6-8 weeks, as your supply has regulated and doesn't make as much milk excess as it did in the early weeks. Don't be worried if you feel less engorged around now, too. It's all normal, and signs your body is figuring out how to make milk most efficiently and with least waste. And remember that the 'emptier' your boobs feel, the higher the fat content of the milk LO will be getting. You'll never actually be 'empty', the flow just slows down, which can lead to LO getting fussy if they're still hungry. They just have to put up with it for a day or so while your supply catches up.

Isaac also had a horrible time of birth and had a horrible latch for weeks. In my case, the first few seconds of a feed were really horrid, and then it subsided. I used a salt water rinse on my nipples to heal them, and lansinoh (although I would probably opt for coconut oil rather than lansinoh for any future babies, as it has anti-fungal properties that might help avoid thrush). As his mouth got bigger, his latch got less painful. I still have to remind him now to open wide sometimes, as he's gotten a bit lazy. Do your nipples come out white at the end of a feed? Isaac used to blanch my nipples, which was really painful. Keeping the palm of my hand over them after he unlatched really helped, but it's just a restriction of the blood vessels which causes pain.

Basically, if LO is doing ok - growing, alert, hitting milestones and weeing - then don't worry about supply. The pain might be solved by adjusting positions, maybe trying to heal any underlying damage to your nipples. If it is just that LO doesn't open very wide to latch, then it will get better as they get older. It's just a bit miserable for these first few weeks, when they're mouths are so tiny in comparison to boobs.

Good luck Hope the growth spurt passes quickly!

 

[mariposa31]

just going back in time... looking at my right breast and seeing a long, thick scar on my nipple. thinking about the struggles, tears, desperation, helplessness, fears, exhaustion.... first days and weeks were too painful and yet we managed to stick to breastfeeding for over one year. I never thought I'd make it then. she was so demanding, constantly feeding, never sleeping, hurting my nipples so much they bled for days. she literally bit off nearly half of my nipple. every time she was latching on, I curled up my toes and cried. I remember sleeping with no top on to air my breasts the whole nights just to heal them faster. and this was the best thing I could do. I used some allantonium cream and literally sticked out my breasts for fresh air as often as I could.
We also had all sorts of problems with proper latching, tongue ties and that. we went to breastfeeding clinics for help and it was ok but we had to just learn everything together, me and her. today she is 2.6 yo and so healthy. looking back in time I still get emotional because sticking to breastfeeding in spite all of that was the greatest achievement, a real fight. and we won. today she still loves the breast she will cuddle it, kiss it, talk to it and calls me to lie down next to her when she drinks her tea so she can touch and feel it it's so funny.
and I'm really proud of my scar, as strange as it may sound.
take care and good luck with your little fights! you will be fine!

 

[DaisyAnne]

With the pain you are talking about, we dealt with some bad pain for a bit (I mentioned we had difficulties- one of them being a tongue tie, which just meant he bit my nipple until we got the tongue snipped), and one of the ways I dealt with the pain was feeding one breast per feed to give the other one a break. We still only do one breast per feed, and my body is just used to that.
I would definitely try some nipple cream, though! And some ppl used to tell me to put a cold pack on the nipple for a few minutes before he fed to numb it slightly. Oh! And those gel soothies (we used the Lansinoh brand) were the best for us! I bought 2 pairs, so I could always have one in the fridge.

Ok, so the gel pads are good? I'll have to pick some of those up, too.

Yes! They were one of my favorite soothers!

 

[Lilahbear]

I had a terrible time breastfeeding to start off with too. My dd had a shallow latch as well and I was in agony every feed to start off. The best latching tip I got to try and get her to open her mouth wide was to put my nipple to her nose so she opened her mouth wide trying to get to it and then to aim my nipple in and up to the roof of her mouth. It worked for us. Also putting lansinoh (lanolin) on after each feed really helps. The pain will pass. Are you by any chance fair skinned because a couple of midwives told me that fair skinned women have more trouble with nipple pain because our nipples aren't as tough. Re. Supply, just keep that lo at your breast for as long as they need to even if the milk is finished. Sometimes you will feel like they are stuck on you 24/7 but they know how to get the milk going and your body should adjust within 48 hours. It is so tough and I know how you feel, but if you can persevere it will get easier.

 

[9jawife]

I had a terrible time breastfeeding to start off with too. My dd had a shallow latch as well and I was in agony every feed to start off. The best latching tip I got to try and get her to open her mouth wide was to put my nipple to her nose so she opened her mouth wide trying to get to it and then to aim my nipple in and up to the roof of her mouth. It worked for us. Also putting lansinoh (lanolin) on after each feed really helps. The pain will pass. Are you by any chance fair skinned because a couple of midwives told me that fair skinned women have more trouble with nipple pain because our nipples aren't as tough. Re. Supply, just keep that lo at your breast for as long as they need to even if the milk is finished. Sometimes you will feel like they are stuck on you 24/7 but they know how to get the milk going and your body should adjust within 48 hours. It is so tough and I know how you feel, but if you can persevere it will get easier.

I'm caucasian, but not very fair skinned. I'll try some Lasinoh cream.

 

[Rachel_C]

If the pain is just down to your nipples getting used to it, you could try a little bit of teething gel rubbed on them a little while before a feed then wipe off any excess before feeding him. It will numb them a bit so it might help you relax. Stuff like Dentinox is suitable to use on baby from birth anyway so it's fine to feed LO after applying it, although I would try to avoid getting much in his mouth as having a numb mouth won't help his latch!

It's not something I've ever seen recommended so take it with a pinch of salt but I did it when LO had bitten me and I was really sore. I mentioned it to some friends and a couple of others had done it too and they're far more knowledgeable than me so I trust it's okay. It's worth a go anyway