Stupidly Worrying

[pink_cabbage]

I just had the biggest panic ever...

It might seem really stupid, but I was talking to my best friend Nikkii(who's gonna be baby's Godmother) and we were joking about how we were gonna tell baby that her Aunty Nikkii is married to her Aunty Faye in the same way her Aunty and Uncle are married... and then it hit us both; how the HELL am I gonna tell her why she doesn't have a daddy, where she came from, and that her mummy doesn't like boys like most of her other friends' mummies do...?!

Oh goodness. I know I'll have to do it one day... but I really dunno how

 

[Kimboowee]

Just be totally honest i suppose!
My cousin never told her little boy he doesnt have a dad, he just kind of knew he didnt! He's never asked any questions about it though but he's quite inquizitive (sp?) so im suprised he hasn't!

 

[channy3232]

Awww hun! I'm sure it will come naturally when the day comes. She won't know any differently so it won't be weird for her when you tell her. I remember when I was probably like 10 or so and someone referred to someone as being gay on TV. I asked my mom what it meant and she said "it's like how a man and woman love each other like Mommy & Daddy do, but instead it would be a man loving a man or woman loving a woman" I looked at her and said "oh cool" LOL I believe because my parents didn't hide anything from me and they explained it in such a casual way, I never thought and still don't think anything of homosexuality. If they had been like omg omg omg um well um yeah...and made a big deal, I would have gotten the wrong idea and probably thought it was a bad thing.
Does that make sense? I'm sure it will be different since it's her life, but if you're honest and surround your family with loving friends and family, I think everything will be ok.

 

[princessttc]

My husbands mum is that way inclined! She was honest with them from birth and it hasnt affected any of her 3 kids at all... I believe honesty is the best policy! They even have childrens books for reading that explain things like homosexuality and that its normal!! SO you will be able to get resources to help you out in explaining all this to your child! It doesnt change you as a person at all, your still going to be a great mum!!!

 

[pink_cabbage]

Thanks girls

I just get a bit panicky 'cause I dunno anyone else in the same position as me so it's kind just me and baby against the world at the minute!

 

[Dukechick]

Awww honey. Yup, I'm gonna say be honest right from the beginning

 

[Jkelmum]

Be honest

 

[Nibblenic]

Be honest from the begiining, and answer questions as they come up. In whatever way the baby can understand at the time.

I know there is still alot of predudice out there, but it really is a different world hun and will be even more so in the next 10 years by the time your Lo will have to deal with his peers asking questions

 

[dizzy duck]

Just be honest hun, you will know when to say something, try not to worry too much, take care XX

 

[jellyk]

I agree with others - be honest from the start. I am a teacher and have read some of these books with my class before and the children didn't bat an eyelid - it's adults that can have the problem!

If I Had 100 Mummies
And Tango Makes Three
King and King
One Dad, Two Dads, Brown Dad, Blue Dad

 

[navarababe]

Just be honest hun, it will come naturally, bubs wont know why they dont have a daddy, but when u feel the time is right im sure you'll be ok

 

[BumbleBump]

It's a great thing hun, kids aren't born with prejudices and as long as you're honest from the start it will be normal to LO and they'll be much more accepting of people who choice different routes in life. My best friend is gay, married to her life partner (my LO was the flower girl ^.^), and my LO doesn't bat an eyelid towards it!

 

[Kiree]

I totally agree with jellyk, its adults that can have the problem. Your baby will most likely just 'get it' anyway because of being brought up by you and being in your life every day. Its normal and healthy to worry about it now though- it means you're well prepared for any questions no matter how far off they may be, so that when you answer them it'll be no biggie. its your maternal instinct to worry but by thinking about what's best for baby it just shows you'll be a fab mum x

 

[danapeter36]

Beccy!!!
You'll be fine! The more honesty you instill in your child from an early age, the better trust will be between you, and the more open you can be with one another!
Hugs babe
D xxx

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Hi, my mum has been with her female partner (now civil partner) since I was very young. I remember being told something along the lines of them being special friends, different from my mum's other female friends. I didn't think twice about it, and I loved my mum's partner so probably had a happier childhood than a lot of my friends who lived with their married parents...

 

[faille]

I think as long as you don't make a big deal out of it, your baby won't even give it a second thought.

I know it's not the same thing, but one of my nephews isn't my brothers biological child and my nephew doesnt quite understand that, but he does know that he is different to the boys who are my brothers and he doesn't think twice about it. My brother and partner have never hid it from him so when he gets older and wants to start asking questions, he shouldn't feel like he's been lied to or had things hidden from him - he knows as much as he can understand.

I suppose you can take the same view point about 'my mummy likes girls' as you can 'what's a "real" dad'?

 

[Emsy26]

Just be honest from the start hunny xox

My lil sis is gay, she wouldn't tell us at first cos, she thought we wouldn't understand, she now knows she can talk to me about anything, I've never been prejudice, maybe she thought because my elder brother was (who by the way - I can't stand the sight of, such a dimwit. Lol) that I was too, but now she knows...and we are as close as ever xox