Sudden major guilt

[Jencocoa]

Perhaps this should be in the miscarriage forum but it's very slow and I got almost no responses over there when I started miscarrying earlier this weekend. I knew I was bleeding and cramping but I thought it was just the beginning of the miscarriage. After the appointment today when I found out I had already passed the baby I feel really awful. I told the midwife that I felt really bad that I didn't know one of those times when a baby was in there. She told me that it was so tiny I couldn't have known and couldn't have seen it. I was about eight weeks and five days although my baby didn't grow to the size of what an eight week old baby should grow to. The ultrasound tech said the baby was less than a centimeter and my midwife said from rump to crown baby was only .3 cm. But there's a mom who posted pictures of her miscarried six and eight week old babies and you can tell they are little babies. I feel horribly guilty I could not find or save my baby and he/she just got flushed down the toilet. I could just throw up. I looked though. Every single time I went to the bathroom and looked. When I had the few very small class on Sunday which had to be at in retrospect I studied those clots and I didn't see anything.

 

[Mrs. Tigger]

Sweetie, .3 cm is REALLY tiny. Don't beat yourself up

 

[kristymarie17]

I have no words to make you feel better, but just try and keep your head up and know we're all here for you.

 

[Sophie2015]

Jen- 0.3cm converts to 3 mm. That is smaller than a grain of rice. There is no way you ever would have seen it and if you had you could not have saved it or preserved it in any way. With my first two losses I had no ultrasound pics. In hindsight I wish I did although they never saw much more than what you did- a tiny sac with a tiny embryo. In hindsight I wish I had an ultrasound pic. Even if it was an empty black space in my womb I knew that's where my baby was. Would it help you to call and see if you can get a pic from today or your last ultrasound? Even if nothing is visible you will know your baby was in there somewhere.
Again I'm so sorry.

 

[Jencocoa]

Jen- 0.3cm converts to 3 mm. That is smaller than a grain of rice. There is no way you ever would have seen it and if you had you could not have saved it or preserved it in any way. With my first two losses I had no ultrasound pics. In hindsight I wish I did although they never saw much more than what you did- a tiny sac with a tiny embryo. In hindsight I wish I had an ultrasound pic. Even if it was an empty black space in my womb I knew that's where my baby was. Would it help you to call and see if you can get a pic from today or your last ultrasound? Even if nothing is visible you will know your baby was in there somewhere.
Again I'm so sorry.

Actually yes. I wish I had thought to ask. I wonder if it is too late. If I could have a picture from last Tuesday when the tiny baby with the tiny heart rate was still there that will give me something it would mean so much

 

[Sophie2015]

Jen- 0.3cm converts to 3 mm. That is smaller than a grain of rice. There is no way you ever would have seen it and if you had you could not have saved it or preserved it in any way. With my first two losses I had no ultrasound pics. In hindsight I wish I did although they never saw much more than what you did- a tiny sac with a tiny embryo. In hindsight I wish I had an ultrasound pic. Even if it was an empty black space in my womb I knew that's where my baby was. Would it help you to call and see if you can get a pic from today or your last ultrasound? Even if nothing is visible you will know your baby was in there somewhere.
Again I'm so sorry.

Actually yes. I wish I had thought to ask. I wonder if it is too late. If I could have a picture from last Tuesday when the tiny baby with the tiny heart rate was still there that will give me something it would mean so much

Those pics should still be on your chart. Call your Dr ASAP.

 

[Jencocoa]

Jen- 0.3cm converts to 3 mm. That is smaller than a grain of rice. There is no way you ever would have seen it and if you had you could not have saved it or preserved it in any way. With my first two losses I had no ultrasound pics. In hindsight I wish I did although they never saw much more than what you did- a tiny sac with a tiny embryo. In hindsight I wish I had an ultrasound pic. Even if it was an empty black space in my womb I knew that's where my baby was. Would it help you to call and see if you can get a pic from today or your last ultrasound? Even if nothing is visible you will know your baby was in there somewhere.
Again I'm so sorry.

Actually yes. I wish I had thought to ask. I wonder if it is too late. If I could have a picture from last Tuesday when the tiny baby with the tiny heart rate was still there that will give me something it would mean so much

Those pics should still be on your chart. Call your Dr ASAP.

I called. Receptionist said midwife and ultrasound tech both gone and she doesn't think s pic is in chart but that tech has to call co and get a copy. I don't know what any of that means weird but she took note said she will talk to tech and they'll call me tomorrow. I really hope I can get one.

 

[Sophie2015]

Jen- 0.3cm converts to 3 mm. That is smaller than a grain of rice. There is no way you ever would have seen it and if you had you could not have saved it or preserved it in any way. With my first two losses I had no ultrasound pics. In hindsight I wish I did although they never saw much more than what you did- a tiny sac with a tiny embryo. In hindsight I wish I had an ultrasound pic. Even if it was an empty black space in my womb I knew that's where my baby was. Would it help you to call and see if you can get a pic from today or your last ultrasound? Even if nothing is visible you will know your baby was in there somewhere.
Again I'm so sorry.

Actually yes. I wish I had thought to ask. I wonder if it is too late. If I could have a picture from last Tuesday when the tiny baby with the tiny heart rate was still there that will give me something it would mean so much

Those pics should still be on your chart. Call your Dr ASAP.

I called. Receptionist said midwife and ultrasound tech both gone and she doesn't think s pic is in chart but that tech has to call co and get a copy. I don't know what any of that means weird but she took note said she will talk to tech and they'll call me tomorrow. I really hope I can get one.

Maybe things are different where you are but my Drs always print pics during my scans. Even my mc scans. Good luck. I hope they can give you something to hold onto.