Suicide - Bravery or Cowardly?

[rubixcyoob.]

So before we get into this let me tell you, the moment I think it's going out of control I will ask for it to be locked (if the mods haven't done so already) because I know this is a highly sensitive and controversial topic that can stir up a host of emotions.


In my view I think suicide is probably one of the most selfish and cowardly things you can do. Instead of facing your problems, fears, worries etc. head on you decide to jump out of the deep end in such a way that you will never be confronted with them again. That's what cowards do, they run and run and run.
It's unbelievably selfish on the comittee's behalf in regards to everyone they leave behind. We are the ones let to pick up the pieces of someones live scattered all over the place. We are the ones having to grieve and hurt and move on with our lives. We are the ones left behind while that person is off feeling nothing.

But at the same time I feel it can be seen as brave. I for one know I could never have the balls to kill myself. I just couldn't. I'm too scared. I'm too scared of committing the act, I'm too scared of dying, I'm too scared of feeling nothing and not exisitng anymore. In that respect, I think people who do it are braver than me since they can dispell these fears I have as if they are nothing.

Your turn ...

 

[blinkybaby]

I'm frightened of death and couldn't imagine committing suicide, so in one respect I guess you have to have balls to actually end your life intentionally.

But then again I do think it's extremely selfish on the people left behind.

But severe depression is an illness and I guess people who get to this point are not actually thinking rationally or thinking about the people around them.

 

[smokey]

I can only speak for my experiances alone with it and I would have to say it normaly boils down to cowards and stupidity.
my uncle attempted suicide on a few occasions and sadly he failed because he was to much of a coward to face up to the acts he commited.
My cousin attempted it by swallowing pills after he was driving drunk and hit a tree and the girl in the passenger seat went through the window (she survived with a broken jaw) he was too much of a coward to face his actions and to stupid to deal with it.
I had a friend who commited suicide while stoned so I class that as under stupidity.
I also had another friend who died from accidental suicide (was messing around with asfixiation) so again stupidity.

There was a lad who commited suicide when I was in school due to bullying and in cases like that I dont think its either coward or brave its just shear desperation.
Again the same with terminal illnesses I think its just shear desperation and lack of any other options so dont think it comes down to bravery or coward but I have no experiance of that so its one of those you just dont know how you would feel untill it happens to you type things.

I am yet to think of an example where suicide could be classed as bravery unless it was to save the life of someone else but thats watching too many films for you I think.
As like you said the people and family that are left behind to pick up the pieces are always heartbroken and how can it be brave to put your loved ones through that.

 

[Scamp]

I want to say cowardly. I think it is so selfish but, I know that most people who do it are mentally ill and seriously depressed.
I definitely wouldn't say it was brave.
x

 

[rubixcyoob.]

Idk, I know it isn't 'bravery' in the typical sense but because I am scared of almost everything suicide entails I do see it as a kind of twisted bravery because they so clearly aren't by that point in their life.

 

[Scamp]

Idk, I know it isn't 'bravery' in the typical sense but because I am scared of almost everything suicide entails I do see it as a kind of twisted bravery because they so clearly aren't by that point in their life.

Yeah I can definitely agree with that. I can't even imagine what it would be like
x

 

[Pyrrhic]

Is it selfish? Yes

However people who commit, or attempt suicide have a serious mental issue which means their brain is not working correctly. They cannot rationalise properly, or see a way past problems that might seem minor to others. They are not in any frame of mind to make correct decisions, and unfortunately if they don't get help then it can end in the worst possible way.

Is it cowardly? No, I don't think so. I wouldn't say it was brave either. People who attempt suicide don't think that way. All they want is the pain to stop. There is no ability to think beyond the here and now. The only thoughts are pain is happening now, need to make it go away. Its a slefish thing to do because they can't think beyond themselves, but it isn't intentional.

Depression is a horrible, horrible disease.

 

[smokey]

Idk, I know it isn't 'bravery' in the typical sense but because I am scared of almost everything suicide entails I do see it as a kind of twisted bravery because they so clearly aren't by that point in their life.

I think the reason why you cant imagine being "brave" enough to commit suicide is because you still have your wits about you, you can see the bad side of it and see it from a stepped back view and are still able to comprehend the consequences and finality of it where as someone pushed to that point cant.
The deffinition of bravery is to do somthing you are scared of but I doubt these people are scared in the same way as we see it, they are scared of living.
To be too scared of the idea of commiting suicide does not mean you are not brave it just means you are intellagent and your fight or flight reflexes are still working so your brain is still able choose the smarter option.

 

[v2007]

It is seen as selfish by many but when you have hit rock bottom, you really do feel that there isnt anything else left.

After Taylor died, i wanted to die, i tried my bloody hardest, its wasnt a suicide attempt, it wasnt a cry for help, i just wanted to be with my baby and for the pain and heartache to stop

I cant explain it but like Fedup says people who are trying to kill themself need help and we just wanted the pain to stop.

V xxx

 

[rubixcyoob.]

Idk, I know it isn't 'bravery' in the typical sense but because I am scared of almost everything suicide entails I do see it as a kind of twisted bravery because they so clearly aren't by that point in their life.

I think the reason why you cant imagine being "brave" enough to commit suicide is because you still have your wits about you, you can see the bad side of it and see it from a stepped back view and are still able to comprehend the consequences and finality of it where as someone pushed to that point cant.
The deffinition of bravery is to do somthing you are scared of but I doubt these people are scared in the same way as we see it, they are scared of living.
To be too scared of the idea of commiting suicide does not mean you are not brave it just means you are intellagent and your fight or flight reflexes are still working so your brain is still able choose the smarter option.

Yeah I know exactly what you're saying, you worded it way better than I ever could of!

I meant a 'twisted bravery' in the sense that, it may seem like bravery by facing fears etc. but in reality, they aren't facing their fears of death, they aren't in the normal realms of what is appropriate to do and what isn't, they aren't and cannot think clearly and nor can they control their emotions properly.

 

[Lauraxamy]

I think to actually take your own life you've got to have some courage because no way could I end it, but I guess if I was in that frame of mind then maybe I could..
I do think it's selfish in some ways but if the person is suffering, maybe from an illness or something, then maybe it's selfish to expect them to live on..?
I've known a couple of people do it and their reasons were just plain selfish to people like us who are thinking straight etc, they both left children, wives and family behind to clean up their mess which is them just taking the easy way out.
However like it's already been said these people are not in a fit mental state and clearly can't be thinking whilst they do this because it's horrific to just take your own life, like I said I could NEVER do it.. I would actually have to be insane I think to actually do it.

 

[SKATERBUN]

suicide isnt always a concious decision, the only reason I cannot see it deemed as selfish is when the person is mentally ill.
Some I know will try to 'take their own life' to gain attention/cry for help, even so this person does need help selfish or not.
If you havent truly experienced depression or some other kind of mental illness then it cannot be judged.
As for being brave, I only believe that someone who is determined to end it all is looking for an escape from their pain and being brave isnt a consideration.

 

[November1984]

I have a friend who overdosed on purpose who had lupus.
She was in constant pain and not very well for a long time. I guess I would have to look at the situation on a case by case basis before lumping all suicides together as cowardly or selfish.
I have to say, when a parent commits suicide though ESPECIALLY if they have young children I find it selfish to an extreme degree.

 

[Marzipan_girl]

My friend who lives up the road from me tried to overdose about 11 times, and has been sectioned multiple times...my mum called her selfish but I would always defend her saying she's obviously ill, not just trying to piss her parents off!
Then one day, last year, her dad actually DID kill himself. In his office at work....I didn't know WHAT to think. I feel so sorry for this family...her little brother especially, because he has to witness all this without any control over it.
I still think it's not really selfishness of the PERSON...more that depression itself is a very selfish disorder....

 

[coccyx]

I think for some people they must be in a bad way mentally if they feel need to commit suicide. Must be awful to be in in such a dark place they contemplate leaving friends and family.
Think unless you have been in their shoes, you can't really say it is selfish

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

I dont think you could class it as either.

Every circumstance is different and unless you have been where that person has and had to deal with the life they were dealt you cannot comment imo.

 

[cleckner04]

I don't think it could EVER be classed as bravery. Unless it was a roundabout sort of suicide like a soldier jumping on a bomb to save everyone else or something like that.

I definitely think you have to have some sort of mental disorder to commit suicide. I mean, I just can't picture being in that low of a place to feel the need to end it all IYKWIM. A girl I went to high school committed suicide 2 weeks ago. It's awful and now that poor family had to deal with donating off her organs and burying their 21 year old daughter. So I do think suicide is pretty selfish no matter what. But I don't think a person in such a low state, would even think of anyone else in that point.

I'm not good at wording things so hopefully that makes sense.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I don't think it could EVER be classed as bravery. Unless it was a roundabout sort of suicide like a soldier jumping on a bomb to save everyone else or something like that.

I definitely think you have to have some sort of mental disorder to commit suicide. I mean, I just can't picture being in that low of a place to feel the need to end it all IYKWIM. A girl I went to high school committed suicide 2 weeks ago. It's awful and now that poor family had to deal with donating off her organs and burying their 21 year old daughter. So I do think suicide is pretty selfish no matter what. But I don't think a person in such a low state, would even think of anyone else in that point.

I'm not good at wording things so hopefully that makes sense.

I agree with this. I think its very selfish x

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I'm offering a slightly different perspective. Btw, this is really hard to type

My godmother's daughter, only 19, killed herself by hanging in February this year. She had a biological depression, meaning that no amount of medication or therapy could rid her of the thoughts she was having. She had attempted to kill herself twice before this final one. My godmother and her husband saw every specialist on the west coast to try and help her. Her depression was programmed into her brain at birth, so to speak. She led a wonderful life and her parents are some of the most wonderful people I know.

I wouldn't look at suicide as brave or cowardly. Some people just aren't equiped to manage life as it comes. I miss her every day and knowing that my godmother lost her only child kills me inside. To say it is selfish that she killed herself when she had no control over her impulses SICKENS me.

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

I'm offering a slightly different perspective. Btw, this is really hard to type

My godmother's daughter, only 19, killed herself by hanging in February this year. She had a biological depression, meaning that no amount of medication or therapy could rid her of the thoughts she was having. She had attempted to kill herself twice before this final one. My godmother and her husband saw every specialist on the west coast to try and help her. Her depression was programmed into her brain at birth, so to speak. She led a wonderful life and her parents are some of the most wonderful people I know.

I wouldn't look at suicide as brave or cowardly. Some people just aren't equiped to manage life as it comes. I miss her every day and knowing that my godmother lost her only child kills me inside. To say it is selfish that she killed herself when she had no control over her impulses SICKENS me.

xx