Suicide off motorway bridge. Selfish or just desperate?

[Baby France]

The act of suicide itself is desperate to the victim but I think throwing yourself onto a motorway, in front of a train etc is selfish. It's not just the victim that will be affected. Their act could cause an accident on the road and result in death/injury of others not to mention the psychological effects of the car/train/truck driver that hits them

Very well put! Its the people that find them too, I understand that they've obviously got enough things flying through their mind but, the people that find them. It must hurt them for life.

 

[moomin_troll]

obviously if u want to die ur not thinking straight but i still think its selfish to put ur death onto someone else like that. if u want to die and are able u should do it urself.

EDIT i didnt see appleblossoms post before i wrote mine

 

[ellie]

Personally, I dont see how anyone killing themselves willingly can be considered "selfish", since the definition is about concern for yourself and your own pleasure only. I have worked with a lot of people who feel suicidal and as others have said they are absolutely not thinking rationally or able to consider consequences to others, so they cannot be considered 'selfish' as they can't weigh up options at that point. In fact most people say that they want to die because they feel they are a burden to others, have no purpose or hope for the future etc, and that others will be better off without them, so they feel they are doing everyone around them a favour by dying.

In case of a violent/public suicide, I guess it is possible that a very few people may decide to 'go out with a bang' but mostly it would be because they want a sure fire way to ensure they will die, many people who feel suicidal will say their biggest fear about the act is not death itself but that they will 'screw it up' and not actually kill themselves. So a jump in front of a train, or off a large bridge, is pretty certain to do this.

A lot of people will have been affected by suicide and I hope that should anyone in that situation read this thread, they will not be upset by people considering their loved ones to be 'selfish'.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

Personally, I dont see how anyone killing themselves willingly can be considered "selfish", since the definition is about concern for yourself and your own pleasure only. I have worked with a lot of people who feel suicidal and as others have said they are absolutely not thinking rationally or able to consider consequences to others, so they cannot be considered 'selfish' as they can't weigh up options at that point. In fact most people say that they want to die because they feel they are a burden to others, have no purpose or hope for the future etc, and that others will be better off without them, so they feel they are doing everyone around them a favour by dying.

In case of a violent/public suicide, I guess it is possible that a very few people may decide to 'go out with a bang' but mostly it would be because they want a sure fire way to ensure they will die, many people who feel suicidal will say their biggest fear about the act is not death itself but that they will 'screw it up' and not actually kill themselves. So a jump in front of a train, or off a large bridge, is pretty certain to do this.

A lot of people will have been affected by suicide and I hope that should anyone in that situation read this thread, they will not be upset by people considering their loved ones to be 'selfish'.

See I have got someone very close to me that has attempted this, yet I can still sit back and say that the act in itself is selfish. Obviously I would be devastated if that person had actually achieved what they set out to do but at the same time I would also be devastated if someone happened to take one of my LO's, or another family member with them in the process.

That doesn't make me a horrible person and I'm not trying to upset anyone, all I'm trying to do is put myself in the shoes of others on the other end of it all.

The person that is committing suicide may not be selfish but the act in itself is.

 

[Brookey]

in my opinion it is selfish. i know people feel desperate but its just my opinion.

I hope i dont upset anybody by saying that but i do have first hand experience of this and still feel it is very selfish.

 

[ellie]

it is a difficult one to call really ... brookey, i have also worked with people who've had loved ones commit suicide and it should be ok for them to feel angry at the person who committed suicide, since they do seem totally unable (or unwilling?) to consider the effect on the people they leave behind. Idk, do people who've unsuccessfully attempted it / recovered say that they thought they were selfish at the time for trying it?
I saw someone recently who wanted to kill himself but he had thought very carefully about how to go about it so that people wouldnt find him and be upset, he was most worried that children might find him. having said that he wasnt planning to jump off a bridge! Then I saw someone who was threatening to jump off a bridge in protest at being annoyed at the hospital about something, he even rang the local paper to tell them that. Quite a different feeling about his motivation and intention ....

Guess most people would feel that someone feeling suicidal really needs to think about options other than suicide, and think realistically about the impact and effect on others, but they will usually need some help to do that. Difficult if they dont tell anyone though.

 

[lhancock90]

Does this mean someone who is already dying, in constant pain and has no hope of survival who takes their own life rather then spend months slowly dying is selfish?

NO.

Every single case is different, you can NOT say that every act of suicide is selfish.

I also find this thread tasteless and having attempted suicide can tell you, it is not nessacerily your most rational period of thinking.

 

[krissy1984]

imo it is selfish if you commit suicide in a place where people can see you or to cause someone else to do it. I know a lot of people in the rail industry, who know train drivers who have hit someone by them commiting suicide in front of them, and the drivers can't work afterwards, have to have extensive counselling, so yeah that is selfish. If you want to commit suicide do it on your own, don't ruin others lives as well, that is not right. I know how desperate people must be to want to die and I do feel sorry for them, but I feel sorry for the other lives they destroy more

ETA I don't find the act selfish, just sometimes the methods to commit it.

 

[moomin_troll]

if someone is dying and decides to end their lives because they are suffering i can totaly understand that n wouldnt call that selfish.
but to jump off a bridge or infront of a train that is selfish because they are putting their death onto someone else and that is not fair

 

[deafgal]

suicide always appear selfish. rather they leave their loved ones upset and blaming themselves or even parentless (happened to my neighbor. he was just a young boy when his mother committed suicide. now he can't see his mother anymore) or risking and even taking someone's like (like the husband killed his wife and kids first before killing himself).

But it is mental disorder and they need professional help. It doesn't matter how they do it, someone is going to get hurt result from it.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

if someone is dying and decides to end their lives because they are suffering i can totaly understand that n wouldnt call that selfish.
but to jump off a bridge or infront of a train that is selfish because they are putting their death onto someone else and that is not fair

I think that someone who is dying anyway is totally different to someone suffering mental illness/depression, hopefully they would be thinking rationally to not jump from a bridge and perhaps do it another way iykwim Like you hear about euthanasia kind of thing.

I think to jump from a bridge, jump in front of a train etc, you can not be thinking rationally, if you was then I can't imagine anyone would choose that way to do it.

Like I said before I don't think it is necessarily the person that is selfish, but the act in itself is.



Edited because when I re-read it, it didn't sound how it was meant to come across.

 

[lhancock90]

I really, really, wish i had never come across this thread.

 

[tiggy]

For me it all depends on their reason for commiting suicide and also where and when.

eg... Someone who has killed or abused a child and then chuck them self in front of a train to me is just taking the cowards way out.

But someone like my stepdad who was a paranoid schizophrenic and also one of the kindest gentlest ppl u wud ever meet hang themselves from a door because their childhood memories came back to haunt them in my opinion it took a helluva lot of nerves for him to put that lawnmower cable over that door round his neck and kick that tool away.

((hugs to anyone who has personal experience with losing some one in this way))

 

[Karlie06]

My father committed suicide and it still haunts me 11 years later. The unanswered questions hurt my soul to this day