Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[rachelle1975]

Hey Inky,

Our first NHS cycle got cancelled in April. In August we had a private cycle, I'm 34 & we had 2 blasts put back. We got our and then the following week beta showed the bloods hadn't doubled & it was all over.

I'm normally Miss PMA but really struggling now & it's so hard with DH as he feels like a failure & has been really tearful.

Follow up is next Friday, hoping to do egg share as we have no frosties.

Trying to be positive as finally got a positive after years BUT if one more person tells me 'at least I got a positive' I'll scream.

Xx

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Rachelle, thank you for joining thread. I'm so sorry to hear that. I think if you had a BFP you end up having hope only for it to be crushed. Your poor hubby. He sounds like a sensitive soul. MY husband doesn't do emotions which sometimes makes it difficult. He is MR Logic, which annoys me no end. He is wonderful in other ways but....what can I say. Its a hard process. Hope followup goes okay. The fact that you did get blasts was very good last time. I didn't manage this. It bodes well for the future. I have heard of egg sharing and know someone who has done it - it really keeps the cost down and helps others which is great.

Take carex

 

[Inky2006]

Hi everyone

Am abit perturbed. Rang clinic. We are NHS funded with a BUPA hospital. Am happy to be funded, but their waiting list for next cycle or FET is 6 months. Am in a dilemma because wonder if should just go somewhere else and pay, forsaking NHS go. I know husband will probably never agree to this. They said they have both private and NHS patients and their waiting list is very high. One embroyologist has left, they are down man power wise. I feel like even if it is NHS funded they should be abit more honest about waiting times. The waiting list is high for private also. The follow up appointment is at the end of NOvember. I am going to write a little letter because don't think they are that supportive, feels like you are a number. Anyway, sorry to moan guys, just ventingxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ACLIO]

INKY - the choice is totally yours. My first cycle was NHS funded we only get one go on the NHS in our area which really sucks. I hoping to have a private funded second go in the next couple of months when we have saved. I'm also looking at egg sharing to reduce the cost and to help out even less fortunate women.

xx

 

[rachelle1975]

Oh Inky that is really naff - i've been frustrated waiting 4 weeks for a follow up so can't imagine how you are feeling. Not being able to move forward is so frustrating.

Was your first go NHS funded? I know you can have 2 private cycles before losing your NHS go? The Lister in Chelsea have no wait and you could be considered for egg share although you would need various bloods as well as HIV 12 weeks apart - that could help and keep costs down? Their embryologists are one of the top group in the country too with fantastic results. Plus in your age group they would put 2 embryos back if that's what you wanted?

Sorry that your clinic has such delays

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Aclio - thanks for your input. I really am lucky with postcode. I know this and and wrangled with guilt. I am not ungrateful at all. Its just that I am nearly 35 (I know this is not old at all) but feel like I'm racing against time. I am probably being silly but I don't know. I think your plan for egg sharing is a wonderful idea. It keeps costs down and helps others. I think the post code lottery is dreadful with IVF, however do believe that all NHS funding for IVF will be scrapped soon with current government.

Hi Rachelle thank you for your input. My first go was NHS funded. We would have gone private - but was encouraged by GP to do NHS funded. We get two goes in our area. I have been informed by many that this is very generous. I am so grateful, but the problem is the waiting times. I will look at the Lister's website. Thank you for your support. Hope you are okayxxxx

 

[rachelle1975]

Ah don't worry - i know it's great to get 2 goes but when you have to wait so long it's never a good feeling. Our funding got moved and it is a 2 year wait... my eggs will be fossilised nevermind fertilised by this time so we figured we would go to The Lister. You responded fantastically well to the drugs! All those lovely eggies!

Have to say that The Lister have been truly fantastic.....................not just because i got free cake and a sandwich after EC

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Rach

Free cake and sandwich sounds marvellous to me....although probably should not be tempted by food as have put on 10Ibs with treatment. Feel absolutely awful. Have stuck to WW diet for 3 days and haven't lost a pound. Mind you, because of heavy head cold have not be to gym. Have been to work which is very active...hope it comes off.

How is everyone else by the way? Anyone find it a struggle to get back on tract emotionally after failed IVF? I feel flat and like I have lost my MOJO, my spark.

 

[Helen76]

Hi everyone,

Rachelle I know how you feel as I got BFP but my levels didn't progress. I'd never been pregnant before (not that I ever felt pregnant) and I really don't know if its a good thing or not.

Feeling particularly heartbroken today because my SIL has just had her IVF pregnancy confirmed. She's been through a real journey to get there but it just highlights what we don't have.

If I hadn't miscarried, our kids would have been born so close together and we could have shared the pregnancy journey. As it is at the moment I don't even feel like I want to see her (even though I know its not her fault that I'm not pregnant).

I'm angry, teary, depressed and I don't know how to get over it.

I'm sorry to dump this all on you but I'm guessing you'll understand a bit of how I feel.

How crappy is this journey!!!

H xx

 

[Inky2006]

Oh Helen, it must be really hard for you. I definately understand. Its normal to feel teary and depressed. I think its a normal reaction. I feel crap too .

 

[MissMonty]

Hey ladies

Helen - I've got a friend who's baby is due very soon around the same time we would have been due if our 1st ICSI had worked I was thinking today I might have been on maternity leave already if it had been sucessful. Even after all these months I still find it difficult.

Inky - my DH doesn't show much emotions either (unless his football team are loosing ) he's always so positive and prefers 'solutions, not problems' I must be a right moany cow as he say's this to me almost everyday

Its a bummer the waiting list is so long, I'm with Care and have had 1 NHS funded and now private funded with them and have never had to wait, although had to wait standard 3 cycles between treatments.

Sending everyone lots of

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey ladies

Big to Helen and to Miss Monty...

Helen - i felt the same, it was surreal, i didn't even tell DH for 2 days as it just seemed so bizarre!

MissMonty - it's so hard to feel happy when you feel so low, regardless of knowing someone has had a tough journey to get there.

The day we got our beta confirmation my friend had a c-section - 2 days later i was holding her baby and i was such a brave bunny but a total dribbler when i got home. I feel so out of control and frustrated - emotional eating is shocking but at least i went and joined weightwatchers last night so that can kick my ass. DH refuses to see our friends baby as he thinks he will cry bless him - my sister is due in 2 weeks so hopefully that'll be okay.

I have emailed the lister egg share nurses today as a girl who has only had egg share and not fully paid told me that the wait was at least 6 months.... not sure we could survive that long so might have to sell internal organs to find 7k!

 

[Dilek]

I just wanted to say this is a brilliant thread

 

[woowoo]

Hello everyone,
Thank you very much, Inky2006, for starting this thread, I’m sad that any of us have to be a part of it but grateful that we have somewhere to share our feelings.

My story (I’ll make it as brief as possible):
ICSI 1 Nov ’09, 6 eggs, failed fertilisation
ICSI 2 March ’10, 7 eggs, 2 fertilised, both poor quality... BFN
ICSI 3 has just ended, 4 eggs (a diminishing reserve by the looks of it), 1 fertilised, good quality, BFP followed by an early miscarriage (I have just received my update beta results this afternoon).

I’m heartbroken. I have no idea how to smile or be cheerful at the moment but I'm sure it will get easier.

I wish everyone all the best and to everyone who has been successful (first time or after loss) thank you for giving me hope.

 

[rachelle1975]

Oh woo woo i'm so very sorry - that's heartbreaking

Do you have a follow up appt booked? xx

 

[woowoo]

Hi rachelle1975, you and I have our follow-up appointments on the same day

All the best for your review. I'm worried about mine, I guess I'm worried he'll tell me there's no chance

 

[rachelle1975]

There is always a chance Woowoo - are you in the UK? What about a change of clinic?

I'm worried because although we did have blasts - we had to go to day 6 to get them. I don't know, i'm worried i'll have nothing to worry about!!!x

 

[woowoo]

Yes we are in the UK, and we have had a few thoughts about changing clinic.

I really hope that your next cycle is the one. x

 

[rachelle1975]

Right back atcha woo woo

I know at my clinic in London there are a lot of ladies who end up there as they are classed as 'poor responders' and also have low AMH or high FSH - they seem to have fantastic results. xx

 

[Helen76]

OMG Woowoo, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this.

I wish there was something I could say or do to help. I went to pieces this morning because our follow up appointment is when we're on holiday (out of the country) so I rang up to rearrange and the next available appointment is in November which is just too far away.

Your story puts me to shame but I do wonder if I'm emotionally strong enough to cope with this. On the face of it (because we're in unexplained infertility) I could still conceive naturally but I don't think I can go through this month on month again so I want to get straight on with second IVF attempt but I'm already panicking about what it'll do to me if it fails.

I wondered about seeing the doctor further down the line to maybe be prescribed something to help but don't know if that will impact on fertility further?

Rachelle - it must be so hard with your sister about to give birth. Thinking of you.

H xx