Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[Inky2006]

Hi everyone

MissMOnty - hope downregging going okay. My husband sounds almost identical to yours. I'm sure your not a 'moany cow'. They don't have a clue about how draining this process is and how all hormones pumped into us make us feel. I am gunning for you - and am sure it will work this timex

Helen - Rachelle, Miss Monty. I can relate to the friends or relatives that are pregnant. I am ashamed to say that I have avoided my husband's friend's baby since January. This is really horrible isn't it. They do live along way from us. Rachelle, you were so brave to go and see your friends baby. You must of had to find alot of inner strength to do that. Your poor sweet husband. He has taken it hard.

Rachelle - as for emotional eating, I can relate to that. I am joining weightwatchers on tuesday next week. Maybe we can support each other in weightloss. After IVF I have put on about 10Ib - urrrhgggghhh. My BMI has gone from 25 to near 27. I hate it. I am going to the gym today, and getting a programme from gym instructer. Although have had a head cold with chesty cough so not planning to do too much. LOL!

Woowoo - how are you? I'm glad this thread is helping you. It is me. However, my 1 failed cycle pails into insignificance after hearing what you have been through. I wish I could give you a hug. I hope you are okay.

Dilek - How are you?

Anyway, better go, got to go to the gym soon, feel knackered as job really active, and finding hard to peel myself off sofa. Anyway, take care everyonexxxxxxxxx

 

[rachelle1975]

Well done on the ww front Inky! I look forward to seeing a nice shiny ticker on here once you are all signed up! I'm hoping to have lost a minimum of 20lb by the time we hit NY!

My friend Meg was so lovely, she couldn't believe that i had come to see her. He was a gorgeous bubba - bizarrely i felt nothing. I didn't feel any twangs at all - my big issue is seeing pregnant ladies, that i find very hard. I always was a bit odd

Feel a bit stressed today as my brain is in a whirr over the whole egg share vs regular cycle - i'm wondering about time delays and although the whole cost - trying to pay off the 6k we have recently spent vs the 7k we will need for the next go. It's silly to worry when we don't have answers - hopefully next Friday will bring some closure

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Rach

Hope you meet your goal for NY. I've stuck to ww before. The points are easy once you get into it. By the way, how do you get a ticker up.

Oh Rach I'm sure the wait won't be as bad as you think. Second hand information is not always good. Hopefully you'll get some positive news about egg share. I think its always hard when you are in limbo. Aren't there any other clinics that do egg share if not. As for me I still haven't heard from my clinic. When I rang up they said followup appt would be on 18th NOv. Still haven't recieved a letter. Its pretty poor. I would at least like a followup before I make any decisions.

Anyway, take carexxx

 

[woowoo]

Hi Rachelle, I know what you mean about seeing pregnant ladies... that also really hits me hard. Sorry to hear that you are feeling stressed today, all the waiting is very difficult.

Hi Helen, thank you for your kind words. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through all of this. It’s so frustrating that you have to wait until November for your follow up. I hope your consultant has some answers for you. I hope that you manage to have a restful and relaxing time on holiday. After our second failed cycle we went to the US and at the time I remember being really resentful about the whole trip but when we got there it helped, eventually.

Hi Inky, I hope you are feeling better and I hope you receive your letter soon. I too have avoided a number of babies this year (maybe even a few last year). I feel like such a cow but I sometimes worry I am going to start crying and not be able to stop.

I was doing well today, work is a helpful distraction, until I got home to find a message saying that my follow up had been rearranged. I immediately called back at 4.58 and luckily someone picked up. After attempting to be calm but almost bursting into tears I have managed to rearrange but now how to think of another excuse (lie) to tell my boss.

I hope you all have a relaxing weekend, take care xx

 

[Helen76]

Hi,

How is everyone doing?

Hubby was away yesterday so I arranged to meet up with the only 2 friends who know about the IVF journey. I'm so glad I did that because they sat and listened to me going on and made me feel much better. Although they haven't been through IVF (one has a child the other doesn't) they still made me feel like what I was thinking was normal, bless them. I know I'm lucky to have such good friends.

Today I'm feeling a bit mixed. I'm still not ready to face the SIL and she hasn't been in contact since breaking her news which I'm relieved about. I still have lots of hope that it will happen for us too but then I wonder if I'm just kidding myself.

We are technically classed as 'unexplained' I think although we originally got referred as a result of DH's sperm which seems to have now sorted itself out. I always ovulate late e.g. day 21/22 and then this is followed by a LP of about 11 days with spotting for a few days before and I can't help wondering if that's what is stopping me conceiving. The doctors don't seem too concerned by this though.

I had a chemical pregnancy after the IVF so I don't know what day in my cycle I am, its been 18 days since I started bleeding and I've done an OPK and only the faintest of lines so no where near to ovulating yet. I don't really know what to expect, maybe it'll be weeks before I ovulate? I just feel like I want to get things moving again and I'm sick of the waiting game!!

I hope everyone else is coping and managing to have some fun this weekend. I had a great night out with hubby on Friday, had a good drink and avoided talking about TTC etc! Just what the doctor ordered.

Take care everyone,
H xx

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Helen

I am glad you feel better following a meet up with friends.

Helen - I am abit like you in terms of not knowing whats going to happen with cycle. Its abit of an unknown. I have just purchased some Ovulation sticks, some presseed and these softcup things off amazon because I am still going to try naturally whilst waiting. What else is there to do. Funny though. I read somewhere that with my husbands sperm count we have a 1% chance each month of concieving. This is the same as birth countrol which is 99% effective. That said I am still going to try. From what I have heard ovulation can be out after IVF. For those of you have been through cycles before. Did you get a delayed AF?

Helen - it may well still happen for you naturally. I know it was a disappointment but the fact you had a chemical I think is a good sign. I am still hoping for a remote possibility of it happening for me.

Woowoo - went out last night and was sitting in restaurant looking at cockail list and I noticed your name, didn't try it though. Funny is also what I call one of my cats. Call them all sorts of silly names. Anyhow - I really hope you are okay. So, now at least you have your follow up. I understand about the work issue. I actually left my job because of this, I work for my myself now, because my job is physically demanding - its hard to make an excuse. There is always a shortage of staff. The down side to this is if I don't work I don't get paid. Anyway, I hope you are feeling abit better and you have come up with an excuse. Take care of yourself.xxx

 

[woowoo]

Hi,

I hope everyone is taking it easy this weekend.

Helen, I’m glad that you had a good meet up with your friends, they sound like excellent friends to have. It’s great to hear that you also had a great night out with your hubby. You are not kidding yourself, it will happen for you.

Helen, I’m also nervous about where I am in my cycle... I really have no idea after everything and although getting pregnant naturally won’t happen for us (azoospermia with one vial of frozen sperm left) I am now worried that my body is shutting down.
Inky, I agree that it could still happen naturally and I really hope it does for you (and you too Helen!).

Inky, I too have never tried a Woo-Woo cocktail! I hope you had a great evening at the restaurant.

I had a glass of wine last night (my first since April) which felt strange. I had a nice night in with hubby though and a great day today so I’m feeling much happier.

I can’t believe Sunday night is here already!
xx

 

[Helen76]

Hey everyone,

I had some good news today......they had a cancellation and my follow up appt is now next week!!! Really happy about that

Hope everyone is okay.

H xx

 

[woowoo]

Hi,

Helen, I'm glad to hear your follow-up appointment is now much closer!

I'm anxious about mine, had a wobble this evening... just a little sad about what could have been.

I hope everyone had a good Monday xx

 

[Helen76]

Bless you WooWoo

I think its only natural to feel like that and is maybe even a good thing for you to let some of it out rather than bottling it all up.

We're all here for you and I hope Tuesday is better for you.

H xx

 

[Inky2006]

Hi everyone

Hi Helen, great news about your appointment

Hi woowoo, its a difficult time for you. . Woowoo hope you don't mind my asking but what are your circumstances. Did your husband have TESE or previous treatment. How is he dealing with things? I think like grief, the emotions hit you suddenly, and you have good days and bad days (I experienced a bereavement about five years ago and felt like this) I hope your appointments goes okay.

As for me my appointment is on 16th NOv with FS. I can't do anything about this and feel powerless. I have no idea when FET will be. I have made a complaint to the clinic about being left in limbo. I have booked some counselling because I feel I need to talk to someone. As you all know unless you have been through this you can't possibly understand.

My husband and I are also going to go to the GP again, because my husband has a hydrocelle in his testicle. Basically it is a large watery cyst. He saw a specialist in 1999 who said they would leave it unless a problem. Apparently it can cause a low sperm count because of increase in temperature. This is an unknown to us and feel that it needs further investigation, We mentioned this at initial consult with specialist but it was dismissed. I think its worth a second opinion.

Anyway, am starting evening class tonight. Hopefully it will take my mind off things.

Anyhow take care, everyonexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just to say on a lighter note - I apologise for my poor spelling and grammar (I did go to school and even did A'Level literature.) Its because I type fast and don't always notice until I read back.

 

[woowoo]

Hey,

Hi Helen, thanks I’m feeling much better. How are you?

Hi Inky, I’m 30, my husband is 34. My consultant calls me ‘wonderfully young’ which is rather annoying because my body does not agree with this! Yes, he had TESE last September and we were told they received ‘gallons of the stuff’. I can’t believe we are going to be using the last of it. He said he would definitely do TESE again if necessary but I heard that it is less likely to find anything second time around. Has anyone else heard this? He is doing OK, I sometimes see him getting a bit teary... I feel so sad for him; he’d make an excellent Dad I am a bit up and down and I think we need to get away and have a relaxing break. Sorry this is a really selfish post.

I’m sorry you are having been left in limbo. I hope they will tell you your FET date soon. All the best for your counselling and I really hope your GP arranges some further investigations for you and your husband. We had a great urologist, he was rather eccentric, positive and enthusiastic (his words were ‘You WILL get pregnant’ while my husband was in recovery after his TESE op) but he was a really nice man.

I hope you enjoy your evening class. I laughed when I say your comment re grammar etc... I worry about that too

I hope everyone else is having a good week xx

 

[Blue12]

I hope you don't mind me stopping in. I am finding grieving this "loss" is the most difficult moment yet. I am sorry that there are so many of us here.

to all.

 

[Inky2006]

Hi again everyone

Woowoo your post isn't selfish at all. This is what this thread is for. You can pour your heart out here. Its very difficult to do this with loved ones and family sometimes in the real world. I don't know about you but I feel I want to protect them from my anguish. They don't fully understand anyway. Sorry to hear about your struggle. You are young but that doesn't mean it is any less difficult. I think in your favour the younger you are the better your body can cope. Although you might need a break, just to get your body back to normal, buts that down to you, DH and FS. You probably do need a holiday just to have some, you and husband time (with some pampering/romance). I find romance is off the agenda with this IVF. somehow gets forgotten

Hi Blue, we all understand. Please share your feelings. Writing it down really helps, From your signature it looks like you have just failed FET. Have you any other embroyos? I'm really sorry your having a bad time. We can all relate to what you are going through

As for me this week I feel abit better. I just started an evening class, which was great, but may be more difficult than first thought, and have been to the gym today. I feel somewhat worn out but feel great. Guess the endorphins help. I am trying to keep myself busy but is hard.

Anyway, if you are reading thread. Please feel free join and get some support/encouragement from those that understand.

 

[Starbright]

What a lovely thread. Can I please join?
I had IVF in August and got a BFP. But on Friday at my 10 week scan I found out that there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at about 8 weeks. I'm devestated that it has ended like this.
Sorry to the rest of you who have had similar losses and BFNs. This whole process is such a difficult thing to go through.
Take care xxxxx

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Starbright, have been on here a little today and just came across your entry. I am so so sorry. I really feel for you. Feel free to vent on here. Anything that helps you. We will all support you in thisxxxxxxxx

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey lovely ladies

How are you all doing?

Woowoo - very hard seeing DH's getting upset - makes me realise that sometimes i forget it's about 'us' and not just 'me'

Blue... biggest in the world - have PM'd you

Helen - awesome news re the cancellation!

Inky - well done re the counselling - i think talking to professionals is sometimes the strongest and bravest step we can do

Starbright - so very sorry for your loss xx

So.... today i'm finally feeling a bit brighter - it took nearly 4 weeks! Had a huge blow up with MIL at my b'day dinner Sunday and lost the plot but think it was just what i needed... it was like a soap opera So follow up is Friday and i heard back from the egg share nurses and i tick all boxes apart from the BMI although they are flexible on that front - i shall soon find out how flexible (will i have to sever a limb???). I treated myself to a surrogate yesterday... hope the pic makes you girlies smile a little bit

 

[Helen76]

Starbright - big

I hope you have lots of support around you and please know that we are here for you. A miscarriage after IVF/ICSI/FET seems so unfair, especially so late. Thinking of you.

Rachelle - sounds like good news about the egg share Let us know how Friday goes. I'm loving the surrogate! We got ourselves 2 dogs - best thing we ever did. We call ourselves their Mum and Dad - pretending we are parents lol!

Welcome to Blue - so sorry for the journey you've been on - again please know we are here to help if we can.

Hi to Inky and WooWoo. Inky have you tried ringing up the clinic to see if they have any cancellations? Might we worth a try if you haven't already.

Take care,
H xx

 

[Blue12]

Star - I am devastated for you - I can't believe it hun - I can't imagine the shock you must be feeling. It is so unfair.

Inky - Thanks so much for starting this thread. I am so sorry for your bfn too. I am glad you are able to have FET. I developed OHSS with my cycle and didn't get to transfer anything and only had 3 to freeze because only 3 fertilized. I transfered all 3 - so I have nothing left.

Woowoo - I have never seen my dh in such rough shape either - it is so so so terrible. I am so sorry for you both too.

Helen - So sorry about your loss too hun. I am late to coming in this group - but do you have any next steps or other goals to focus on right now?

Rach - Thanks again for your constant loverly support. Ugh - what happened with the MIL? Friday is only 2 days away - it is great!!!

 

[Inky2006]

Hey everyone

Helen - Thank you for advice. I rang clinic. They are pretty useless. They have no cancellations. I have now come to terms with the fact that I will just have to wait. I'm okay with it now. What day is your appointment next week. How are you bearing up anyway?

Rachelle- Your surrogate is georgous. I want one. How old is he/she? By the way you made me chuckle about argument /soap opera with MIL. Only because is could be me. I would love to do that. I hope you feel much better for letting off steam. Glad about your eggshare.

Blue - Thank you for your support. I think I'm alright with things now. I just feel disappointment. I am lucky with FET but we'll see. Sorry yours failed. When dyou think you'll be able to try again. I see your from Canada. Dyou have to pay for next round. I say this because I gather you have a good healthcare system. I might be wrong in thinking this!

Star - Just to say I am thinking of youx

Woowoo - hope you are okay too!

Anyway, so much for diet. Had a kitkat and a few choccies at work today. Probably had a gazillion weightwatchers points. Am going to gym again tomorrow evening. This may be my only hope. Rach - how's ww for you?