Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[Inky2006]

Hi, just wanted to start a thread for anyone who has failed IVF/ICSI this year just as abit of a support and to discuss ways of moving forward, with lots of positivity. Also, tips on finding PMA. Obviously if anyone wants to add a success story that would be great after 1st or 2nd failed attempt or more.

Just abit about myself. I am 34, very nearly 35. DH and I have been trying to concieve since October 2008. We found out at the beginning of this year husband has a sperm count of 3million with virtually all abnormal everything. Fortunately I am okay. Roll on September 2010 and 1 failed IVF/ICSI. The emotional toll this has taken on me has really hit me by surprise. Anyhow, am determined to move on and look towards the future. So please join me.

In order to make myself feel better the first thing I have done is book myself some pampering activities. What have others done?

June 2011
Just wanted to edit this and let you know I'm pregnant now. 21 weeks infact. I eventually got pregnant on the second round with frozen embroyos. There is not one day when I don't forget the journey that I have experienced. Its still quite raw. Despite being pregnant, everyday throughout this pregnancy I am scared. Also I think we spend such a long time wanting a baby that when we are pregnant alot of us can't enjoy it. This makes me sad.

Anyway, when I created this thread I was unbelievably low. It helped me a great deal. It also helps to know you aren't alone in the world. I gained great comfort from other people's strength. I hope others will continue to get support like I did. Bye for nowxx


Just an update again. February 2012

I havent been on bnb for a while. I just haven't had time. Harriet Georgina was born on the 30/10/11 weighing 7.7IBS. She was delivered by emergency c-section and she is now nearly 4 months. Just wanted to edit this thread and change the date because I still haven't forgotten the support it I gained from it. I hope you too will get support from it. xx

Update 2014

Now have a second icsi child who is 6.5 months old. After Harriet I ended up with an underactive thyroid and raised natural killer cells. I had steriods in this pregnancy. Of you failed ivf/ icsi keep going. Also suggest you get tested for natural killer cells as this can impact on embroyo implantation. We got there in the end, and what a journey, wishing everyone luck, this page really helped me!

 

[Inky2006]

This is meant as a support group so please reply.

 

[MrsF]

heya Inky,

didn't wanna read n run - I'm just about to have my 2nd round of IVF. i think this will be a really good thread, and i shall come and visit if i'm second time unlucky x x x x

 

[silarose28]

Hi Inky

Good idea for a thread. I have just had an ICSI cycle cancelled due to poor response - I only got 1 egg!!! I am 37 so time is running out for me. I had my first round on the NHS but am paying for my next round as I have to wait 6 months for my next NHS one - even though the first didn't even go ahead!! I just don't have time to wait that long and am going to appeal against that decision.

This whole thing is just truely horrendous! I am trying to take things a bit easier in work and to be healthy to keep myself going. Tryng to stay positive is so hard at times xxx

 

[TrixieLox]

Great idea! As you know, hubby and I just did ur first round of ICSI, all went well but then I got my AF! So now it's all over.

We've been trying for 3 years. Hubby has amazing sperm (!) but I have a low follicle count (usually about 7 found) and thin womb lining.

We're gonna speak to our FS in a week or so, then look at an NHS-funded round in the New Year. Not sure what after that. We're coping okay but I wonder if I'll fall apart this weekend?

 

[MissMonty]

Hi Inky

Sending you big

DH and I have had both a failed fresh ICSI cycle and failed FET this year I understand how difficult and crap this journey is

Arranging some pampering sessions is a great idea, DH and I went on holiday after our failed attempts, just so we could spend quality time together and have some fun.

Somedays I find I cope ok but then other days I feel like everything is a total nightmare, we just try to plan nice things to do at the weekends, a trip to the cinema, a drink in a village pub - I find planning stuff like this helps me stay a little positive.

We've just started down regging today for our 2nd fresh ICSI cycle - self funded this time, what are your options for future treatment? xxx

 

[JaniceT]

Hi ladies, just wanna wish all of you a safe and quick recovery, and a hopeful positive during your next try.

 

[MummyIwanabe]

I will join, I know how heartbreaking it is when it fails - something us ladies should not have to experience seeing all we go through to get what should happen naturally!

I'm currently on my 2ww for the second treatment and feeling doubtful.

Time heals a little bit and then focussing on the next treatment really helps to move forward.

 

[Inky2006]

Oh thank you everyone what a great response, I have just got in from work so thought would check.

Mrs F - I really hope it works for you this time. If it does come back and let us know - because successes give hope. If not come and commiserate.

Hi Silarose - I know how you feel - I have to wait a further 6 months for NHS treatment as well. It leaves you in abit of a LImbo. I think you get so pumped up with the process you want to start again quickly. I feel as if the sands of time are running out for me also. Although everyone reassures me they are not it just feels like that.

Miss Monty - I really hope it works for you this time, got my fingers crossed. It is crap isn't it. For the past week I have been crying like there has been a death. It feels like a bereavement. Today I am back to my old self again. My husband told me last night he wanted me back (the woman he married) so resolved to try and move on and be positive. Sounds like you and your husband have done some nice things together. Me and my husband have rejoined the gym - so hopefully we can do some bonding in the running machine together. LOL.

Janet T - thank you and congrats - it looks like you went through it to get to where you are now - so you really appreciate how we all feelx

Hi TrixieLox - I know I have followed your story and you always seem so positive - I think will be good if you can get NHS funding as you rightly deserve it. Don't give up just yet - I have heard lots of stories like yours with happy endings. I'm not giving up.

Mummy - you will get your baby this time - I am sure of it. Thanks for the support.

Thank you all for replying and over the coming weeks hopefully we can support each other and spur each other on.

As for me I have just gotten in from work. This weekend I am going to the theatre. I did contemplate cancelling because yesterday could not stop crying (really glad I have stopped today ) This is quite out of character for me and my mum was really worried. My husband just didn't know what to do. He is lovely. Anyway, the tears have stopped and I feel like I am moving in the right direction. xx

 

[sallycat]

Hi can I join too? Feeling the need for support.
I've just found out I miscarried. 2nd go at ICSI and shocked at how devastated I feel.
Am taking time off work to grieve and get back to normal. I keep changing my mind about trying again...its so hard.
You never know though...maybe next year..when I'll be 41!!!
xxx

 

[silarose28]

Hi can I join too? Feeling the need for support.
I've just found out I miscarried. 2nd go at ICSI and shocked at how devastated I feel.
Am taking time off work to grieve and get back to normal. I keep changing my mind about trying again...its so hard.
You never know though...maybe next year..when I'll be 41!!!
xxx

So sorry for your loss sallycat

Look after yourself - you are in need of TLC xxxxx

 

[emptywombinwa]

Hi i would like to join youre group. I am 27 and my fiance is 34 after all of our testing he was found to have a high sperm count without any problems. They only thing they found with me is a thin endometrium lining. After 5 failed IUI attempts I recently tried my first cycle of IVF and found out yesterday that it did not take. I have never felt so devestated in my life. On top of that my cousin who did not know what i am going through called me and told me she is pregnant for a second time.

I am now left to wonder do i try a second time.

 

[MrsJA]

Hi girls,

Firstly sallycat, I am so so sorry for your loss honey

I hope you guys don't mind me posting here - I think it's a great thread and I just wanted to add my support.

I was quite shocked at how hard my IVF failure in June hit me... I don't think I was fully prepared for it. I thought it would be like any one of the other numerous BFN's I had already had. But it's kind of not, because you have so much invested in the cycle. Plus your hormones are CRAZY and that makes it really hard.

I have friends who have failed again and again and I marvel at their strength. It makes me proud to see them pick themselves up and dust themselves off and try again.

But it's a very personal choice of course, and I guess up to each of us to decide what our limits are.

As you'll see from my siggy I got lucky with round 2, which is nothing compared to what some people go through. But I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK to you all and sprinkle you with a truckload of babydust

 

[Inky2006]

SallyCat - Welcome. You have been through so much, really feel for you. You must feel raw and emotionally drained at the moment. You just need time to grieve. Have you been offered any counselling? I think they are good at guiding us in decision making and helping us move forward. I am going to see one myself. Thinking of you.

emptywomb - welcome also. Ahhh, I know how you feel. I have also recently failed IVF. As everyone keeps telling me IVF does not always work the first time, and sometimes is almost like a trial. So don't give up. You'll feel better soon - it'll take a little while. It'll get easier. Oh I know how you feel about pregnant people. We all get this. Worldwide theer is a baby boom at the moment. You'll have your baby soon.


Mrs JA - thank you so much for your story. Its really inspiring and gives us hope. So pleased you got your BFP. Just wanted to ask did you have two embies put back.

 

[MrsJA]

Hi Inky - nope, just the one embie. I live in Australia so that's pretty much the protocol here.
Good luck honey

 

[Helen76]

Hi,

Can I join too? Inky knows me from a different thread but for those that don't I've just finished my first round of IVF that ended in a chemical pregnancy.

It was strange because my results were low from the start so I never really felt pregnant and I really don't know whether to take it as a good sign that I am conceived at all even for a short while?

H xx

 

[Inky2006]

Thanks Mrs JA. Thought was the protocol in OZ. Its come to the UK with a vengence. I suppose I just wonder if I'd of had two, if one may have stuck.

Hi Helen, I think it was a good sign you concieved. Very good. x

 

[ACLIO]

what a great thread xx

I'm 28 (29 next week) DH 34. I have PCOS and DH has a low count. We had a failed ICSI cycle in August. I was on a short protocol which EC had to be brought forward a day as I over stimulated. We got 7 eggs collected only 6 good enough, we ended up with 4 blastos but on the day of ET only 1 survived. After the 2ww my beta was 2 which meant it tried to implant but it was not meant to be. I had to wait another few days and have another blood test to confirm my level had dropped.

We are currently starting to save for a second go at ICSI with the possability of Egg sharing.

I feel for every women who has to go throug IVF/ICSI it is such an emotional roller coaster that I wish none of us had to go through.

xxx

 

[MrsJA]

Hi girls,

Helen, I had a chemical before I got my BFP on the second round and the doctor said that the chemical was a good sign for sure. It does suck though honey, when it happens... so disappointing

Inky, re the one embie thing.. I don't know if the stats are the same country to country, but my clinic said you have a 30% chance of success per cycle if you transfer one, and a 35% chance of success if you transfer two - but that you get a 50% chance of twins.

So you don't actually increase your chances much at all, but there is a very high risk of multiples - which obviously come with their own complications. I guess it just depends on whether you are keen on twins or not... I know a lot of LTTTC'ers are!

Lots of luck to you guys

 

[Inky2006]

Aclio hi, thanks for story. Everytime you hear a story you realise you aren't alone. When dyou think you might be able to start again.

I agree about 'wishing none of us had to go through this'. Just yesterday I was think when did baby making become so boring!!!

Mrs JA - thank you. I had actually heard this statistic. However I have also read contrasting studies to suggest otherwise. I just hope it works eventually. It should be FET next time. It seems to me that when it comes to embroyos it is abit of a lottery as they cannot tell in the lab which one will go on and develop into a fetus. Nevertheless, this process has left me uncertain as now think that there could be a problem with me otherwise not picked up.