Support thread for all the atheist, agnostic, non-religious, and secular humanists

[Mrs. AJ]

Very interesting pbl!

And I'm interested in that question, too. Especially since, even though we're not religious, I still enjoy cultural traditions of Christian holidays like Christmas trees and Easter eggs. My family was Catholic until I was 12 (now none of them belong to any church anymore) but I still remember these family traditions fondly, but how do we explain celebrating Christmas when we aren't actually Christian?

 

[IrelandsOwn]

Very interesting pbl!

And I'm interested in that question, too. Especially since, even though we're not religious, I still enjoy cultural traditions of Christian holidays like Christmas trees and Easter eggs. My family was Catholic until I was 12 (now none of them belong to any church anymore) but I still remember these family traditions fondly, but how do we explain celebrating Christmas when we aren't actually Christian?

I'm not religious but I would never give up Christmas! I don't celebrate the birth of Christ, I celebrate the arrival of Santa Clause. It's a tradition more than a religious celebration for me. Same goes for Easter. It's all about a bunny as far as I'm concerned.

 

[drsquid]

i dont celebrate xmas or easter at my house. i do go to my cousin's family for xmas. i will never have a tree in my house etc. to me as a jew, it is still a christian holiday regardless of the superimposed commercial trappings. as a kid we didnt take pics with santa (my parents are particularly religious either but felt the same way as i do about the holidays).

 

[Mrs. AJ]

I guess I just want to teach my kids that Christmastime is a time for giving, charity, and enjoying time with family (my family actually doesn't exchange gifts) and I do enjoy the decorations music, food, etc. I'm sure it seems hypocritical to try to enjoy the cultural celebrations and giving spirit of Christmas but to totally ignore all the religious aspects, like i"m trying to have it both ways....I don't know, I'm just making it all up as I go I guess!

 

[drsquid]

not hypocritical. i do the jewish cultural stuff (ie passover i dont eat leavened foods, but i rarely actually go to a seder, and i still eat pork products, yom kippur i fast but dont go to synagogue). i do hannukah. i dont do xmas because i feel like i dont want to import cultural holidays from other religions.

 

[ellieb31]

I love Christmas and have never seen it as an experience for the religious only. I love seeing the family, playing games, eating vast amounts of food, exchanging gifts, decorating the tree - I love every aspect of our interpretation of Christmas. I even enjoy singing carols although I don't go to church to do it and quite honestly I couldn't give two hoots if anyone thought it was hypocritical! I've got many fond childhood memories of the love shared at Christmas and the magic in the air and I really hope that my children will see it as an incredible and special time too.

Oh, I'm feeling all Christmassy now! DD will be nearly 2 for this one so I'm hoping she understand and get excited this time.

 

[vietmamsie]

Hi! I was on this thread in the TTC forum and since I got my BFP last weekend, I thought I would drop in here! We are so excited and really hope this is it for us.

I guess my husband and I are agnostic, but really religion never comes up in our household or social circles, so we don't really have labels. Neither of our families are religious either.

 

[tsyhanochka]

I'm from the TTC version of this group. I see it's hit a lull. Anyone interested in keeping this going or shall I start a new group for our heathen babies

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

We can keep this one going if you like or swap to a new one. Either way is fine.

I'm Jessica, 23, and I fall into the atheist/humanist category. My husband and I were raised Christian, pentacostal style, and we left religion all together about 2 years ago. It was the best decision we ever made and now we have our little science made baby on the way

 

[tsyhanochka]

OK so I had to tell my cousin last week because our Nana died and I was too nervous to fly home and don't really have the money either right now. So during our chat she brought up faith and heaven (she mc @9w and lost her brother 2 yrs ago) so I get that she needs all that. But to imply that whether or not I get to keep my baby will be up to a higher power was too much for me. I'm still annoyed.
If I do things right and avoid stress(like my family back home) I should be fine. I mean I know that my body and nature will step in if something's wrong but am I crazy to think you don't talk about that stuff to someone who just found out and has no reason to suspect???
Sorry. I don't know where to complain about religion and not offend religious folks.

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

i have the same issue all the time. People are all "praise jesus" about our baby because we tried for so long. i got several messages after i answered with "no, not praise jesus, praise for medical science" and i was honest with each and every one of them about our walk away from faith and our feelings on the subject of the continued to push it. we lost every single one as a friend. that is fine with me. it just shows the true character IMO. I can respect someone who believes without respecting their belief system. I'm sorry someone would put that on you..the first few weeks are so hard with all the worry (im just barely out of them myself and im still worrying every minute!)

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

Happy birthday Issac Newton!

 

[Miss Bellum]

Hi everyone, only just found this thread and seems like an appropriate place to sign up

I would say I am an agnostic humanist. DH is also not religious.

We seem to have a real mix of beliefs between our two families, ranging from none, to Wicca, Catholic, JW, and an Anglican priest. Luckily enough, we all seem to be tolerant of each other.


Looking forward to chatting with you all soon.

 

[tsyhanochka]

Hi Miss Bellum,

Sorry I kinda flaked on responding here. I really would like to have this thread get busy again. I'm on the TTC version and we had hoped we'd get enough bfp to keep this going and have some new ladies join. So I think that could happen soon!

I don't know about you, I find it a bit awkward when people say they'll pray for me during my pregnancy... I thank them because what else can I do.

And I loathe the day when I have to confront my family and tell them we're not getting the baby baptized. I can't, in good conscience, allow my children to be raised with any ties to the Catholic church (what I was raised in). I don't agree with their stance on my reproductive choices, the fact that women can't become leaders in the church, that people aren't free to love and marry who they want to...and the whole crisis around the sexual abuse that is still not really being resolved.

Anyway, hope to see you, and others, around!

 

[tsyhanochka]

Oh and a lovely smart lady in the TTC verson of this group made a ticker banner thingy for us!

[*URL="https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-groups/1141715-support-thread-all-atheist-agnostic-non-religious-secular-humanists.html"]**https://i1352.photobucket.com/albums/q655/GingerPanda89/religionfreemtb_zps13a36122.gif**[/URL*]

just remove the stars from the URL tag and plop it in your siggy!

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

I received my first horrified, and horrifying, letter in the mail. I had my religion on my fb page listed as "pastafarian" because I assumed that no one I know would realize it meant Atheist and would just take it as a joke. I got a letter from my 74 year old estranged grandmother telling me that I was indoctrinated into a cult and that my baby was a demon and that my family (husband, baby, and I) were all going to burn in hell for believing in a spaghetti monster. As funny as it is I am furious that someone would call my unborn baby a demon and threaten it with hell. Second, she doesn't even own a computer...so I had to search through my friends list and find the filthy troll who is sharing my personal business with someone who shouldn't even be allowed in the same room with a piece of technology much less close enough to attempt to understand it! that makes 2 sets of grandparents who are cut out of my life...and leaves me with the burning question of how much more family we are going to lose when we tell them all that if they attempt to indoctrinate our child that they will never see it again. I have a feeling next X-mas is going to be hell on wheels.

 

[drsquid]

yikes wow. im sorry you are going through that... but may you and your child be touched by his noodley appendage =)

 

[Miss Bellum]

Hi Miss Bellum,

Sorry I kinda flaked on responding here. I really would like to have this thread get busy again. I'm on the TTC version and we had hoped we'd get enough bfp to keep this going and have some new ladies join. So I think that could happen soon!

I don't know about you, I find it a bit awkward when people say they'll pray for me during my pregnancy... I thank them because what else can I do.

And I loathe the day when I have to confront my family and tell them we're not getting the baby baptized. I can't, in good conscience, allow my children to be raised with any ties to the Catholic church (what I was raised in). I don't agree with their stance on my reproductive choices, the fact that women can't become leaders in the church, that people aren't free to love and marry who they want to...and the whole crisis around the sexual abuse that is still not really being resolved.

Anyway, hope to see you, and others, around!

Hello there! Hopefully we can get a few more people posting on here and keep the thread going.

I would find it a bit strange if people offered to pray for me/bean. In the UK, it doesn't seem to happen as much though, as most people tend not to really discuss religion in public. I think all you can really do is thank them and move on.

I can understand why you would not want to bring up a child in the Catholic faith, I have a lot of the same problems with their attitudes. I also think it is not fair to baptize or christen children who are not old enough to make their own choices. I think no-one should be accepted into a faith until they are an adult and can choose to enter of their own free will.

Luckily for me, most of my friends/family understand my point of view, and a lot agree with it. I dont think it is likely to cause any problems.

We are considering having a humanist naming ceremony for our bean - It will still give us the chance to get the family together for a celebration, without the need for any religion. Is this something that might work for you?

I received my first horrified, and horrifying, letter in the mail. I had my religion on my fb page listed as "pastafarian" because I assumed that no one I know would realize it meant Atheist and would just take it as a joke. I got a letter from my 74 year old estranged grandmother telling me that I was indoctrinated into a cult and that my baby was a demon and that my family (husband, baby, and I) were all going to burn in hell for believing in a spaghetti monster. As funny as it is I am furious that someone would call my unborn baby a demon and threaten it with hell. Second, she doesn't even own a computer...so I had to search through my friends list and find the filthy troll who is sharing my personal business with someone who shouldn't even be allowed in the same room with a piece of technology much less close enough to attempt to understand it! that makes 2 sets of grandparents who are cut out of my life...and leaves me with the burning question of how much more family we are going to lose when we tell them all that if they attempt to indoctrinate our child that they will never see it again. I have a feeling next X-mas is going to be hell on wheels.

I am finding it very hard to express how angry this sort of thing makes me. I am so sorry you have had to deal with this.

What sort of person could possibly call an unborn baby a demon? I have no time at all for people that threaten anyone with hell. I can understand why you would want to cut such people out of your life. I also dont understand why the troll felt it necessary to pass on information to your grandmother.

I hope that the rest of your family have a more reasonable attitude and can just enjoy spending time with your baby without bringing religion into it.

Sorry, dont really have much practical advise to offer, but I do sympahtise with your position.

 

[MissFox]

I ladies! Can' I join you all? I'm agnostic. DH isn't religious in any way. We haven't received any issues from family about baptising (mine would have been the problem)but so far so good. I have a lot of people who say they will pray for me and I say thanks but that's just because it's their beliefs and I'm not going to argue with them as I would expect them not to argue with me for mine.

 

[Miss Bellum]

I ladies! Can' I join you all? I'm agnostic. DH isn't religious in any way. We haven't received any issues from family about baptising (mine would have been the problem)but so far so good. I have a lot of people who say they will pray for me and I say thanks but that's just because it's their beliefs and I'm not going to argue with them as I would expect them not to argue with me for mine.

Hello and welcome!

Sounds very similar to us, we haven''t had any issues with either set of families.