Surrogacy

[TriChick]

Surrogacy, for me, is an option for when a couple are having fertility problems. If having a child was that important to the men I've mentioned, they could have adopted. There are several countries which allow same-sex parents to adopt. It's a lot cheaper too.

Nicole Kidman and Sarah Jessica Parker both used surrogates when they could have had their own. It's rumoured that a lot more women in Hollywood do this too. Age doesn't matter when you have that much
money as there are ways to allow even older women to carry a child.

The celebrities I've mentioned are all rich and privileged. That's
another problem I have. Shouldn't everyone have access?

The biological mother of Elton John's first child FedExes breastmilk to them. That makes me very uncomfortable. Kids need
a mother and, ideally, a father too. These poor babies have no physical bond with a nurturing female because they were removed at birth and given a nanny. Fathers fulfil an equally important but different role.

I'm just not OK with that. Call it judgemental if you like, but I have a right to my opinion

Sorry I'm confused, it's okay for a same sex couple to adopt but not to want/have a child that's biologically related to them?

But it's ok for a straight couple to use a surrogate instead of adopting?

I would like to know as well why it is then ok for a heterosexual couple to utilize a surrogate when, essentially, they would also be "taking the child from their mother"? Honestly, I'm curious as to the reasoning.

 

[Piper84]

Can you clarify your point about the NK and SJP? You only have to look around the board to know there are many cases of secondary infertlitly. I dont have fertility issues, I have three children with me yet a surrogate might be something I have to chose because I can no longer get pregnant and stay pregnant.

I think that it doesnt have to be a stepmother, adoptive mother. I think if the male is providing food, warmth, shelter, then as long as there are strong females role models, it doesnt matter what title they are, could be an auntie, a really close friend of the dad's.

Elton John announced the birth Elijah this morning

NK's first biological child was born in July 2008 and her surrogate child in December 2010, using her egg. She went through the IVF process to extract her own, healthy eggs and had someone else carry the baby to term.

It may be that a male is forced to fulfil the role of mother and father in some sad cases. What I disagree with is deliberately starting the child out with that scenario.

A role model is not a parent nor a mother or father figure.

This discussion is really failing to take into account the sadness that children feel growing up when one parent is missing.

 

[Piper84]

Sorry I'm confused, it's okay for a same sex couple to adopt but not to want/have a child that's biologically related to them?

But it's ok for a straight couple to use a surrogate instead of adopting?

You can want a child that's related to you all you want. But you need to question your motives and what's best for the child you're deliberately bringing into the world without a mother or father.

I haven't covered straight couples using a surrogate instead of adopting.

 

[Piper84]

I would like to know as well why it is then ok for a heterosexual couple to utilize a surrogate when, essentially, they would also be "taking the child from their mother"? Honestly, I'm curious as to the reasoning.

Because they are providing a mother for that child.

 

[smileyfaces]

What has same sex parenting got to do with surrogacy? Just because they are two men or two women does that not give them the right to a child that is biologically their own?

 

[TriChick]

Can you clarify your point about the NK and SJP? You only have to look around the board to know there are many cases of secondary infertlitly. I dont have fertility issues, I have three children with me yet a surrogate might be something I have to chose because I can no longer get pregnant and stay pregnant.

I think that it doesnt have to be a stepmother, adoptive mother. I think if the male is providing food, warmth, shelter, then as long as there are strong females role models, it doesnt matter what title they are, could be an auntie, a really close friend of the dad's.

Elton John announced the birth Elijah this morning

NK's first biological child was born in July 2008 and her surrogate child in December 2010, using her egg. She went through the IVF process to extract her own, healthy eggs and had someone else carry the baby to term.

It may be that a male is forced to fulfil the role of mother and father in some sad cases. What I disagree with is deliberately starting the child out with that scenario.

A role model is not a parent nor a mother or father figure.

This discussion is really failing to take into account the sadness that children feel growing up when one parent is missing.

NK stated repeatedly that she had problems with infertility prior to choosing surrogacy. I posted information regarding that earlier in the thread.

This discussion is failing to take into account the MANY children who grow up in a same-sex household and have a very healthy, loving relationship with their parents (BOTH of them).

Might I suggest making a visit to the Same Sex Parenting section of this forum, along with the Surrogacy section? They may shed some light into the positive realities that these situations can result in, and perhaps correct any misconceptions regarding the topic as a whole. I'm sure there are WONDERFUL parents there who may explain to you why their situation is not "sad".

 

[Piper84]

What has same sex parenting got to do with surrogacy? Just because they are two men or two women does that not give them the right to a child that is biologically their own?

I don't see it as a right to deliberately bring a child into the world without a mother or father.

 

[Tasha]

NK's first biological child was born in July 2008 and her surrogate child in December 2010, using her egg. She went through the IVF process to extract her own, healthy eggs and had someone else carry the baby to term.

It may be that a male is forced to fulfil the role of mother and father in some sad cases. What I disagree with is deliberately starting the child out with that scenario.

A role model is not a parent nor a mother or father figure.

This discussion is really failing to take into account the sadness that children feel growing up when one parent is missing.

There was some two years and five months between her children, so it is quite possible that there was secondary infertlity!?!

To me it is more important that there are two loving parents, than what gender they are.

I think your last sentence is too presumptious. Some children may well feel sadness, but I know plenty of people who grew up in a single parent household who never felt such things. Regardless, there isnt a parent missing in many cases, like Elton's children have two parents.

 

[TriChick]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSQQK2Vuf9Q


A very passionate and honest speech from the son of a same-sex couple.

This is one impressive young man.

 

[Piper84]

NK stated repeatedly that she had problems with infertility prior to choosing surrogacy. I posted information regarding that earlier in the thread.

This discussion is failing to take into account the MANY children who grow up in a same-sex household and have a very healthy, loving relationship with their parents (BOTH of them).

Might I suggest making a visit to the Same Sex Parenting section of this forum, along with the Surrogacy section? They may shed some light into the positive realities that these situations can result in, and perhaps correct any misconceptions regarding the topic as a whole. I'm sure there are WONDERFUL parents there who may explain to you why their situation is not "sad".

I've visited both sections in the past but I'm more interested in other sections of the site.

I'm not suggesting they can't be good parents, as you are implying. I'm suggesting it would be better parenting to give a home to a child that has no home instead of creating a new life, immediately removing one biological parent from the equation and spending hundreds of thousands, possibly millions in the process.

 

[TriChick]

NK stated repeatedly that she had problems with infertility prior to choosing surrogacy. I posted information regarding that earlier in the thread.

This discussion is failing to take into account the MANY children who grow up in a same-sex household and have a very healthy, loving relationship with their parents (BOTH of them).

Might I suggest making a visit to the Same Sex Parenting section of this forum, along with the Surrogacy section? They may shed some light into the positive realities that these situations can result in, and perhaps correct any misconceptions regarding the topic as a whole. I'm sure there are WONDERFUL parents there who may explain to you why their situation is not "sad".

I've visited both sections in the past but I'm more interested in other sections of the site.

I'm not suggesting they can't be good parents, as you are implying. I'm suggesting it would be better parenting to give a home to a child that has no home instead of creating a new life, immediately removing one biological parent from the equation and spending hundreds of thousands, possibly millions in the process.

Piper, I'm interpreting exactly what you are writing.

 

[Piper84]

NK's first biological child was born in July 2008 and her surrogate child in December 2010, using her egg. She went through the IVF process to extract her own, healthy eggs and had someone else carry the baby to term.

It may be that a male is forced to fulfil the role of mother and father in some sad cases. What I disagree with is deliberately starting the child out with that scenario.

A role model is not a parent nor a mother or father figure.

This discussion is really failing to take into account the sadness that children feel growing up when one parent is missing.

There was some two years and five months between her children, so it is quite possible that there was secondary infertlity!?!

To me it is more important that there are two loving parents, than what gender they are.

I think your last sentence is too presumptious. Some children may well feel sadness, but I know plenty of people who grew up in a single parent household who never felt such things. Regardless, there isnt a parent missing in many cases, like Elton's children have two parents.

There will be 23 months between my kids and we (somehow) conceived immediately after my menstrual cycle came back, which was delayed because of BFing and whatever other reasons. I wouldn't call myself infertile because of that.

I think infertility is defined as not conceiving for a year, or more at her age, which would mean they decided pretty quickly that she was infertile.

To me, a loving parent is one who does not remove a biological parent at the outset.

I don't think it's presumptuous to suggest children who are missing one parent carry it around with them for a long time and are affected negatively by it. It doesn't mean they can't be happy, but it takes a lot away from them

 

[LoraLoo]

I could if it wasnt my egg and i had finished having childre, absoloutely. Using my own egg, no, I couldnt give away my own flesh and blood.

I always feel guilty because my Sister cannot have children (several m/c and 2 ectopics, failed IVF) and I look back and know that i potentially could have given her thr greatest gift, however I was young and still having children myself. I'd now happily do it but my Sister is now at an age and time in her life where she has accepted that she wont ever have children and is content with what she has.

If the show was on the other foot and I was unable to have any more children surrogacy is definitely a route i would expore

 

[Tasha]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSQQK2Vuf9Q


A very passionate and honest speech from the son of a same-sex couple.

This is one impressive young man.

Great video, thanks.

 

[TriChick]

NK's first biological child was born in July 2008 and her surrogate child in December 2010, using her egg. She went through the IVF process to extract her own, healthy eggs and had someone else carry the baby to term.

It may be that a male is forced to fulfil the role of mother and father in some sad cases. What I disagree with is deliberately starting the child out with that scenario.

A role model is not a parent nor a mother or father figure.

This discussion is really failing to take into account the sadness that children feel growing up when one parent is missing.

There was some two years and five months between her children, so it is quite possible that there was secondary infertlity!?!

To me it is more important that there are two loving parents, than what gender they are.

I think your last sentence is too presumptious. Some children may well feel sadness, but I know plenty of people who grew up in a single parent household who never felt such things. Regardless, there isnt a parent missing in many cases, like Elton's children have two parents.

There will be 23 months between my kids and we (somehow) conceived immediately after my menstrual cycle came back, which was delayed because of BFing and whatever other reasons. I wouldn't call myself infertile because of that.

I think infertility is defined as not conceiving for a year, or more at her age, which would mean they decided pretty quickly that she was infertile.

To me, a loving parent is one who does not remove a biological parent at the outset.

I don't think it's presumptuous to suggest children who are missing are parent carry it around with them for a long time and are affected negatively by it. It doesn't mean they can't be happy, but it takes a lot away from them

Ummm Nichole Kidman does not share your uterus, therefore may not share your fertility. Why do you presume to know so much about the fertility issues of a woman you've never met?

 

[TriChick]

A very passionate and honest speech from the son of a same-sex couple.

This is one impressive young man.

Great video, thanks.[/QUOTE]

You're welcome It brings tears to my eyes. He was asked to appear on Ellen after, as well as the Democratic national Convention.

He introduced his mother on Ellen, it was incredibly sweet.

 

[Piper84]

NK's first biological child was born in July 2008 and her surrogate child in December 2010, using her egg. She went through the IVF process to extract her own, healthy eggs and had someone else carry the baby to term.

It may be that a male is forced to fulfil the role of mother and father in some sad cases. What I disagree with is deliberately starting the child out with that scenario.

A role model is not a parent nor a mother or father figure.

This discussion is really failing to take into account the sadness that children feel growing up when one parent is missing.

There was some two years and five months between her children, so it is quite possible that there was secondary infertlity!?!

To me it is more important that there are two loving parents, than what gender they are.

I think your last sentence is too presumptious. Some children may well feel sadness, but I know plenty of people who grew up in a single parent household who never felt such things. Regardless, there isnt a parent missing in many cases, like Elton's children have two parents.

There will be 23 months between my kids and we (somehow) conceived immediately after my menstrual cycle came back, which was delayed because of BFing and whatever other reasons. I wouldn't call myself infertile because of that.

I think infertility is defined as not conceiving for a year, or more at her age, which would mean they decided pretty quickly that she was infertile.

To me, a loving parent is one who does not remove a biological parent at the outset.

I don't think it's presumptuous to suggest children who are missing are parent carry it around with them for a long time and are affected negatively by it. It doesn't mean they can't be happy, but it takes a lot away from them

Ummm Nichole Kidman does not share your uterus, therefore may not share your fertility. Why do you presume to know so much about the fertility issues of a woman you've never met?

Don't talk about my uterus please.

If she can have successful egg extraction, there's no reason for her not to carry the child with the amount of money she has.

 

[cupcake23]

I would like to think I could be a surrogate however due to suffering hyperemesis I wouldn't be able to go through 9 months and not be able to keep a baby at the end of it.

With SJP & NK both over 40 when they decided to use surrogates for their subsequent children? Also NK has already adopted 2 children with Tom Cruise due to fertility problems and had at least one miscarriage whilst he was divorcing her, I think she has the right like any other person (gay/straight) to choose how they bring life into this world, as long as they can care for them, in my opinion a child should come into this world just loved & wanted, if its 1 or 2 parents it doesn't matter and the sexual orientation of them is irrelevant.

 

[LoraLoo]

NK's first biological child was born in July 2008 and her surrogate child in December 2010, using her egg. She went through the IVF process to extract her own, healthy eggs and had someone else carry the baby to term.

It may be that a male is forced to fulfil the role of mother and father in some sad cases. What I disagree with is deliberately starting the child out with that scenario.

A role model is not a parent nor a mother or father figure.

This discussion is really failing to take into account the sadness that children feel growing up when one parent is missing.

There was some two years and five months between her children, so it is quite possible that there was secondary infertlity!?!

To me it is more important that there are two loving parents, than what gender they are.

I think your last sentence is too presumptious. Some children may well feel sadness, but I know plenty of people who grew up in a single parent household who never felt such things. Regardless, there isnt a parent missing in many cases, like Elton's children have two parents.

Thanks Tasha, I grey up without a Dad and I had THE happiest childhood and I dont feel that I missed out on anything. My husband on thr other hand, grew up with both a Mother and Father (adoptive) and had a miserable childhood

 

[smileyfaces]

What has same sex parenting got to do with surrogacy? Just because they are two men or two women does that not give them the right to a child that is biologically their own?

I don't see it as a right to deliberately bring a child into the world without a mother or father.

I assume you are kidding right? That is one of the most ignorant things I have ever read. So two fathers or two mothers are inferior to a mother and a father? As long as the child is loved, cared for and wanted then I can't say that I think it makes a difference?